


Reality

by pureeddie



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angsty when life gets rough, Beverly and Ben always and forever, But they All Love one another equally, Eddie is gay af, I will put warnings on chapters with smut, Living a normal young adult life AU, M/M, Mainly Streddie, Maybe some Stenbrough for soul, Mike is a ray of sunshine, Multi, Quaterdumb?? Never heard of her, Reddie likes each other too no worries!, Richie is a Bi boi, Should I make Reddie first?? Idk, Slow burn but only cause I write day by day events until end of their trip, Smutty af because Stan can't keep it in his pants half the time, Stan is Pansexual, Stan is on the edge of death from all this sexual tension, Stan realizes he likes Eddie, Stan-Centric, Stozier VS Reddie is sHAKinG, Summer break, Then he realizes he also likes Richie, Three Is Better Than Two, When will he ever get some, college kids, overall romantic, we appreciate platonic relationships in this household
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-05-17 09:38:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 41,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14829852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pureeddie/pseuds/pureeddie
Summary: A shocked Stan realizes he has the hots for both Richie and Eddie. He keeps it quiet and all pent-up until the tension gets to be a little too much for Stan the man. AKA Stan hates himself for liking Reddie and he daydreams instead of coming clean until those dreams become real."Dreams are my reality, the only kind of real fantasy. Illusions are a common thing, I try to live in dreams. It seems as if it's meant to be."-Richard Sanderson





	1. Double Cupid

**Author's Note:**

> I like to have playlists for my stories, so I suppose this one is no exception. 
> 
> SONG OF THE CHAPTER: Reality by Richard Sanderson (Hell, it's the inspiration for this whole damn story, including the title)
> 
> I hope this isn't as bad as I fear it is. I am on vacation, so I will try to update as much as I can! <3  
> Onto the first chapter!

Stan was torn between two people. His internal fight was going on without a fuss to those said people, for it was his secret. A horrid secret, yes. It was so horrid, that he vowed to himself when first realizing his emotions, to keep it hidden from anybody except himself. He feared for others to become aware of it.

 He felt that he either had to choose only one to have a crush on, or neither. Oddly enough, he couldn’t choose between the two. His heart simply chose both. This fact was obviously not simple whatsoever, making it difficult to properly behave around the Losers.

The bright side to this secret, however, was that exact fact: nobody knew he loved two people at once except him. A darkness inside lets himself give into his desires, all in the safety that nobody needed to know. He let himself give in, mentally and when alone, to the wicked thoughts that ran through his mind. His mind was the only place it was allowed, though. It would be a mess if anyone else becomes aware of his sinful, double-lust. Stan knew it was wrong, and a part of him hated himself for it.

 But, it felt so right. Well, wrong, really. Something about how  _wrong_  it was made him feel dirty, a dirty that felt so goddamn good. Too goddamn good, to be exact. It was a type of feeling that brought a whole lot of trouble. It turned Stan on and disgusted him all at the same time. It was an exhausting matter, truly.

He liked the way it all played out; Exhausting or not, he was always ready for it. The action and dialogue of his secret are really what contributes to his fantasies even more. It was always exciting in some way since the two people he fancied were so different, yet so alike.

“Guys, if I can fit my whole fist into my mouth, imagine what else I could do,” Richie bragged and then proceeded to wink in a manner that set Stan’s insides on fire. It was finally summertime for the college students, and Richie was only making it hotter for Stan.

  ** _Imagine it? I yearn for it_** _,_ Stan thought sourly, glaring at Richie’s teasing mouth.

It was pulled into a goofy grin as the others reacted aloud, mostly groans of displeasure. Stan quirked an eyebrow at the thought of groaning  _in pleasure_  from Richie’s mouth. The mere thought made Stan shift in his seat, rubbing his balled fists up and down his thighs, trying to calm himself down.

“God, shut up, it’s not like you’d still be any good,” Eddie quickly shot back at the black-haired boy.

The Losers took time to laugh at Eddie’s rebuttal, including Richie. However, Stan’s fire had now doubled as he watched Eddie like the dirty hawk Stan was. The bickering, the way their chemistry was… it really fueled Stan to no end.

Eddie was taking in his victory with pride when his eyes met Stan’s. Stan quickly rolled his eyes and let his mouth pull into a smile, desperately trying to get rid of his lustful gaze.

It seemed to work because all Eddie did was smile back. What a filthy liar Stan was. He knew what he was doing, he understood his feelings to a T. He just simply hid them away to ensure his long-term friendship with them. He didn’t want to ruin the dynamics of the Losers. He needed to make sure his perverted fantasies  _stayed_  fantasies, for his friends’ sake.  

Stan looked back towards his friends, where Mike was currently holding onto Richie’s shoulder as him and Bill spoke about something that was apparently exciting enough to make a listening Beverly bounce out of her seat.

Ben held his arms out almost to make sure she didn’t stumble or fall, relieved her feet landed on the ground properly. Beverly hung her arms around Eddie and Bill’s necks, cuddling her head in between the two. She began to talk up a storm, swaying the three of them back and forth excitedly, as Mike happily conversed with the ginger girl.

These moments are why Stan could never come forth with his pathetic secret. His eyes lingered toward Richie, who had one leg pulled up so that his knee was under his chin. He was smiling yet behaving surprisingly calm compared to his usual self. His eyes were curiously darting back and forth between the two chatter boxes, which was usually his role, and every so often adjusting his chin on his knee in search of a comfortable placement.

Stan’s eyes then fled to look at Eddie, who was still trapped under Beverly’s hold. His arms and legs were both crossed, and he was biting his nails with a smiling mouth. Eddie’s eyes were locked on Richie, which caused a curious Stan to then look at the curly haired boy. Once he looked, his heart skipped a beat to find that Tozier was looking right back at him. Stan tried his best not to look a bit shocked and blinked slowly to ensure a slight glower. It seemed to work.

“Aw, what’s with the sourpuss Stanny boy? ‘Don’t you wanna go?” Richie sang out, pouting his lips in a false-sad manner. Stan couldn’t help but think he meant  _to go at it_ , like, sexually.

**_ Do I wanna go? Hell yes, especially when you call me Stanny. It is so infuriating that maybe I’ll be kind enough to tear you to shreds in bed to make it up to me. _ **

“Do I want to go where, exactly?” Stan asked in a monotone voice, crossing his arms in defiance to give into Richie’s sexual innuendos and his own imagination. Richie bat his eyelashes at Stan, emphasizing the pout even more. Stan’s hands tightened their grip on his arms at the thought of Richie begging for it. This teasing thought made Stan grow frustrated. It usually did when it came to the Tozier boy. 

“You w-weren’t listening to us b-before?” Bill asked, causing Beverly and Eddie to look over as well.

“Are you feeling all right today, Stan? Do you need water?” Eddie offered, Stan couldn’t tell, even looking into the shorter boys eyes, if it was mockery or a genuine question. To be safe, he just shook his head to decline the water.

“Yeah, what’s wrong hun, you usually never miss anything. Like, literally, you even correct our grammar during verbal conversations- “-Okay, that’s enough from you three stooges over there. He’s fine, aren’t you Staniel?” Richie butted into Beverly’s suspicion and caused the whole group looking and expecting an answer. It  _was_ unlike Stan to not pay attention, Beverly and Eddie were spot on.

“There were birds,” Stan simply stated, nodding his head in a direction behind where the group was gathered. He honestly had no idea where Richie implied he didn’t want to go, and he hated that he was caught in his la-la-land.

His friends all looked behind themselves at the trees in the distance, and Stan heard a series of  _‘Oh’s_  and ‘ _No wonders'_. Stan almost smirked as he snuggled his body further into his seat, thinking it was oh-too-easy to create a delusion of his true feelings.

He was a very trustful person.

**_ Or so he seemed _ ** , Stan thought devilishly.

Stan eerily noticed, however, that the only one that didn’t turn around to look for Stan’s ‘birds’ was Richie. Richie was leaning to his side against Mike for support, his leg still pulled up to his chest. The scary part was the seriousness in Richie’s eyes as if he didn’t buy Stan’s lie for a second and was searching for the real answer. If Richie told the others to get off of Stan’s case, then why in God’s name is  _he_  questioning Stan himself?

The unwavering stare told Stan that he knew something was up, and Stan didn’t like the idea. Stan narrowed his eyes, still unbreaking their eye contact. This caused Richie to narrow his eyes, as well. But almost like a stubborn child, challenging their parent. Richie then smiled in a lopsided manner, taking a lot of energy out of Stan to hide the growl that formed in his throat at the very sight.

**_ Fuck you, Tozier. Do you understand who you’re playing with? _ **

Stan felt himself nearly snarl at the black-haired boy, which probably made him look crazy. He sure as hell felt it, and it was partly Richie’s fault.

**_ You ‘ve been a bad boy, Richie. Maybe I should teach you a lesson.   _ **

Stan licked his lips at the thought, forgetting himself for a moment. Richie looked down at Stan’s mouth before suddenly tearing his eyes away, looking back at their friend’s newly-found-conversation almost anxiously.

Stan wanted to take it back, but it was already too late. Stan’s eyes widened, realizing he had just eyed Richie down like a fucking piece of meat all while making constant eye contact. Stan felt his stomach churn, instinctively moving his crossed arms lower to rest against it.

**_ Okay, breathe. Calm down, please Stan, you need to calm yourself or they see through you. They’ll know. _ **

 As he tried to collect himself, Stan missed an inquisitive Eddie Kaspbrak peeking over his small shoulder at him.

Eventually, Stan calmed down, and so did the group since everyone was saying their goodbyes for the evening. They all began to pack up their belongings and headed towards the grove that leads them out of the Quarry. It was almost like the Quarry was their imaginary world and the grove was the wake-up call leading them to reality.

As Stan closed his blue camping chair up into its bag, he scowled knowing that the Quarry was his heart and the grove was his mind trying to wake him up. He was going to punish himself mentally and emotionally for how he behaved earlier towards Richie.

This type of behavior was unacceptable. As barbaric as it seemed, his punishment was to restrain from pleasuring himself that night. His hormones and southern area needed to know their place, that they weren’t in control of Stan.

**_ Yeah, that’ll show you.  _ ** Stan rolled his eyes at his own fighting sarcasm, following behind the Losers.

 While the last of the Losers strolled out of the grove and into the street, Stan finalized that this imaginary-threesome was playing with his mental stability and needed to end. It needed to end fast.

He was glaring into space, and he heard a chorus of goodbyes from behind him. Beverly and Mike’s voices were the loudest due to what Stan would categorize as sheer cheeriness.

Stan turned slightly and waved looking towards Richie for a split second. Richie barely met his gaze, only a half-assed lift of his hand and he was off in the opposite direction with the others. Stan’s heart stuttered in an achy, sad sort of way before glaring ahead once again. 

**_ You’re an idiot, Stan. A complete moron. Richie didn’t speak to you the rest of the time, he didn’t look at you. He didn’t even call you one of those dumbass nicknames, he’s fucking creeped out now, I just know it. What if he tells- _ **

“You weren’t looking at birds, were you, Stan?” A familiar voice interrupted his nervous thoughts and surprised the living hell out of him. He slightly jumped, gripping onto his chair harder than before as he turned around.

Eddie fucking Kaspbrak stood before him, holding the straps of his cute, little book bag. Stan’s eyes, wide and alert, blinked a few times as he not only processed Eddie’s presence but his words as well.

“I was looking…in their direction,” Stan said weakly, but it almost sounded like a question. It was a response that nearly said, ‘Of course not, I was lying’. Eddie walked up to him, his eyes never leaving Stan’s. It was like he was contemplating on whether he should say something or not.

“Okay,” Eddie then answered simply. The brunette was looking up at Stan in a way that made butterflies bang around in his chest. That, or it was the fear that Eddie would question him further.

Eddie then started to walk ahead of Stan, and if you think Stan took the chance to look down at his ass then you are completely correct.

Still flustered by Eddie’s sudden appearance, Stan’s feet felt rooted to the ground for a couple more moments. His eyes still were on the way Eddie’s thighs curved along his ass, Stan was suddenly wishing Eddie was wearing one of those short-shorts he oh-so-loved to tease Stan with. Stan saw his legs turning around, so he quickly shot his eyes up just in time to meet Eddie’s angelic face.

“Well, why are you just standing there?  Let’s head home,” Eddie called out to him. And right then, as Stan gaped at Eddie basked in sunset rays, waiting for him, he knew this was a much bigger problem than he originally expected. 


	2. Sleepless in Derry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie sleeps over Stans in order to prepare for tomorrow... what's tomorrow again?
> 
> SONG OF THE CHAPTER: Everytime by boy pablo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote all night, getting farther into the story so heres another Chapter!

“But, y-your house is that way,” Stan stuttered out, pointing behind himself but never letting his gaze slip from the shorter boy ahead of him.

Eddie then smiled so beautifully that Stan’s arm dropped from going weak. Eddie shook his head and turned his back towards Stan once again, his voice mildly shouting out a “Yeah, I know,”. Stan’s still feet were lifted off the curse it apparently had and began to walk towards Eddie. Once at his side, Stan looked down at his own feet before he glanced over at the other boy.

Eddie was looking straight but spoke as if Stan was asking him to speak. In a sense, he silently was.

“Mike’s dad said that Mike was allowed to borrow his big van and visit his Uncle’s vacation house near the lake for a week,” Eddie explained, looking over at Stan in a way that Stan could only place as smug. His heartbeat quickened but processed his words quickly.

“That’s what you missed before since no one thought to update you. Mike said he can fit all of us, and then some in the van. He asked his uncle already, and we are going to stay at the vacation house for about a week?” Eddie continued and was seemingly asking himself, trying to remember if that was the right amount of time they’d stay.

Stan let out an oafish “Oh,” that broke Eddie out of his train of thought, unfurrowing his brows as he looked back to Stan.

“Thank you, Eddie, I was just…” He looked into Eddie’s deep brown eyes before quickly looking away again. “I was just distracted today is all,” He finished just as he started the excuse: lamely. Eddie didn’t push him any further though, he just nodded understandingly.

“No worries, Stan. I gotcha,” He said, letting out a giggle after he gave Stan finger guns.

Stan felt as if those finger guns really shot bullets at him because a jolt of excitement shocked its way through his body at the very motion. Stan wanted to die from the action, Eddie was too cute for his own good.

 “You really should spend less time with Richie, for your own safety,” Stan said humorlessly, rolling his eyes to look to Eddie as he continued. “He’s starting to rub off on you.”

Stan watched Eddie’s face break into a grin, and Stan wanted nothing more to kiss him. He tried his best to look disgusted, though.

“Hmm…  _Richie_?  _Rub_  off on  _me_?” Eddie’s voice was shrill with laughter, his sexual play on words sending Stan’s imagination running wild.

**_ Only if I can watch. _ **

“You’re revolting me,” Stan settled on, letting the sexual frustration come out as frank irritation. Eddie’s giggles, though, got him smiling like the lovesick fool he was.

“Go home, Kaspbrak, or should I say Tozier 2.0,” Stan glared out at Eddie, but his smile was still betraying him. Eddie nudged Stan, finally calming down from his laughter.

“I already texted my mom, hope it’s okay that I sleep over. You’re the only person who’s she doesn’t fully hate, so she agreed. Mike wanted to wake up early tomorrow, and my mom thinks I’ll be at your house the week. ‘Told her it was our book club thing, you know, that fake book club we made-up so she’d let me go out? Yeah, well that’s the only way I can go to Mike’s vacation house. I have to still pack for tomorrow, but she told me to come in the morning to pack cause it’s getting dark now and she doesn’t want me to be out that late,” Eddie talked so fast sometimes, Stan believed Eddie’s true calling was those sped-up voices at the end of medicine commercials.

It was hard to believe he could talk a mile a minute all while having asthma. Like, does he even know what breathing is?

“Wait, Mike wants to leave for the house tomorrow?” Eddie stopped his chattering at Stan’s question. Eddie raised a thick eyebrow at the blonde boy, shaking his head.

“You weren’t listening the whole damn time, were you Stan?” Stan couldn’t lie. Not this time.

“Not one bit,” He dryly admitted, looking toward his house they were now approaching.

“Well, yes, tomorrow. Since nobody has any vacations this summer, Mike planned ahead and wanted to surprise us the first week of Summer,” Eddie spoke thoughtfully, thinking back on what Stan had missed only a few hours ago.

Stan scooped his keys out of his khaki’s as they approached his front door. His long, slender fingers flipped through the various keys to find the silver one for the front door.

“Wow, suddenly the whole day makes more sense,” Stan said with a smirk, earning an eye-roll from the latter.

“Yeah, well maybe if you had listened and I didn’t have to give you a play-by-play, it would’ve been easier on me, too,” Eddie ranted as they entered the clean and warm house.

Both of Stan’s parents were out since today was their date night. Stan locked the front door intently, making sure it was locked three times before placing his chair in the closet they keep outdoor materials and headed for upstairs.

“You can use my pajamas, but they may fit loosely on top,” Stan said as he jogged up the steps.

**_ And tightly on the bottom. _ **  Stan bit his lower lip at the thought of Eddie’s thicker (than Stan’s) legs and how they’d look shaped in Stan’s PJ pants.

 Eddie huffed behind in understanding, or maybe it was out of breath as he tried to keep up with Stan’s pace.

Stan pushed his bedroom door open and stood there until Eddie made his way inside, so Stan could shut it.

Eddie then sat on Stan’s bed, which would have made Stan wince in annoyance if he hadn’t dreamed so much of Eddie being in it.

“Tired,” Eddie drawled out, falling back onto Stan’s sheets dramatically. Stan turned on his heels, not wanting to feed into his already dirty thoughts.

“Drama queen,” Stan called out as he went into his bathroom. “I am going to shower, you want to?” Stan asked, picking up his toothbrush. Eddie laughed, rolling on his side in bed, propping himself up on an elbow.

“Together?” Eddie joked around, proving that Richie was influencing him. But the joke made Stan freeze, looking into the mirror at his own shocked face. He knew Eddie was joking, of course, but he hated that a part of him believed Eddie was serious.

“Beep Beep, Eddie,” Stan droned out, slamming the bathroom door after glaring Eddie’s way.

“I’ll take one after you!” He heard Eddie through the door faintly, and he nodded as if Eddie could see him.   
“Uh-huh,” He said loudly, turning on the bathtub’s faucet.

~~

Stan laid in mostly darkness, his arms behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling. The sound of running water was coming from his bathroom, now that Eddie was in the shower. He heard the shorter boy humming a song he recognized but didn’t know the name of.

He wished tomorrow would come already, so he could forget he fucked up with Richie and he wouldn’t have to deal with being so close and personal with Eddie.

Stan blinked at his shadowy ceiling, glancing over at the only light source left in the room. His desk lamp was still on, so Eddie wouldn’t trip over anything on his way to Stan’s bed.

That’s another reason why Stan was lying awake instead of sleeping. It wasn’t like he was waiting up for Eddie or anything, he was just nervous to be in the same bed as him. He had sleepovers like this before but has successfully avoided any since he realized he liked Eddie romantically.

Their sleep-overs used to be fun and innocent. Now it was a dangerous game, something that made Stan’s stomach turn. He hadn’t heard the water turn off, maybe since he used the white-noise to think. But now that he listened for it, it was silent. When had it stopped?

The door then opened, making Stan jump a bit. He didn’t know if he should pretend to sleep, or just look away from the door. Stan chose to close his eyes, as he heard the shuffling of Eddie coming out of the bathroom.

“Stan?” A small voice called out to him.

 He refused to open his eyes and look, and instead answered with a mere “Hm?”

There was a silence before his desk light shut off. The light that had illuminated through his closed eyelids vanished into pure blackness. He felt the other boy climb onto his bed, a weight by his legs. Stan tried to keep his head towards the wall.

“Stan?” Eddie asked again, this time Stan opening his eyes. He barely saw Eddie, only from the light of the moon through the window. His hair looked damp and his face looked cute.

“Yes, Eddie?” He asked, almost authority-like. Like Eddie was a child calling to his teacher in the middle of class.

“Um, well, your pants don’t fit, so, if you feel my legs, don’t think I randomly stripped in the middle of the night,” Eddie almost whispered, his voice still being loud enough to hear him from the end of the bed. Stan’s face drained, his palms becoming sweatier than before. His pants…don’t … _fit?_

“Eddie, do you have any pants on?” Stan immediately regretted asking such a thing, because Eddie climbed closer and he saw with his own two eyes that, no, Eddie didn’t. Stan tried hard not to stare at Eddie’s smooth, tan legs as Eddie crawled toward Stan.

“No, your pants were too small, I said,” Eddie whined at having to explain it again, sitting on his legs as he looked down at Stan’s form. Stan was horrified. He couldn’t do anything but look up at the smaller boy.

Eddie pushed Stan’s shoulder a little, looking at his face then at Stan’s blanket.

“Gimme,” Eddie whispered, seemingly to himself. He pulled the sheets open for himself, before slipping under them and settling on the pillow. His head was so close to Stan that Stan fixed himself to turn away and let his back face Eddie. Eddie seemed to take it as if Stan was offended by the pants situation.

“I’m sorry Stan, I wish they fit. They were nice,” Eddie offered as if Stan thought Eddie didn’t think his pants were good enough.

“I would’ve worn them if I could,” Eddie reassured cheerfully. Stan felt himself sneer a bit, before letting out “Wow, thanks, Eddie. That means a whole lot,”. Eddie hummed in response, happily, before inching closer to Stan. Stan moved his eyes to the side as if to look at Eddie, feeling the other boy’s warmth more intensely. Eddie inched closer and closer each moment that passed silently. It was slowly paining Stan.

“Can I help you?” Stan grew irritated, letting out a sigh. Eddie seemed to move even closer, if possible, to Stan’s dismay.

“Stan, you know I need you to hold me,” Eddie sounded like a child, a needy one at that. Stan knew this, yes. But there was no way that he could do that now.

“Hold yourself,” Stan retorted coldly, trying to pull away from Eddie. But Eddie put a small hand on his back, and Stan could feel the warmth seeping through his shirt and onto his skin.

“Please, Stan, I can’t sleep without you,” Eddie begged, and Stan felt his heart skip. He scolded himself, knowing Eddie didn’t mean it that way, but it was just too devastatingly easy to turn it into something it wasn’t.

Stan was weak.

He let out a loud huff of annoyance, turning around towards Eddie. Eddie let out a sound of victory, beginning to turn as well. Wait, what? No, no, no. They don’t spoon, they’ve never spooned before, Stan thought anxiously.

“If you want me to hold you, you have to face me,” Stan sternly commented, causing an almost fully little-spoon-Eddie to let out a disappointed “Aww,”. He reluctantly turned back toward an impatient Stan.

“I wanna,” Eddie whined again, making Stan’s loins heat a bit. Stan got angry.

“Nope, that’s it. No more, not even holding you,” Stan told Eddie, who gasped.

“No! Stan, I’m sorry, I was kidding! Never mind, I’ll face you! I will, I promise!” Eddie was being too loud, and the only way to shut him up was to agree.

When they finally settled down, Eddie snuggled into Stan’s chest; he hoped Eddie kept his smooth legs far away from Stan’s side and that he couldn’t hear how hard Stan’s chest was pounding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3... Today or make you suffer?


	3. Boxers or Briefs?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan and Eddie wake up to get ready for their big adventure with the others. But Eddie CANNOT wear the same, dirty clothes twice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The time zones are different where I am for vacation so technically, it's the same day here!  
> Thank you, everyone who read this story so far, I really love to see you all liked the story enough to kudos it. I really try to write not only for my enjoyment but for the ones out there that crave some Streddie content. I sure as hell need more.  
> Thank you all again! And enjoy Stan's feverish thoughts. 
> 
> SONG OF THE CHAPTER: Dirty Laundry by Bitter:Sweet  
> ;)

In the morning, Stan woke up first. He took a few moments to watch Eddie sleep, for he was still curled into Stan’s chest. But not for long because Stan needed to make sure Eddie didn’t see his morning wood. He headed straight for the shower in a half-awake daze. He would just get rid of it in there, anyhow.

 When he was out and clean, Eddie was awake by then. Stan jumped at Eddie sitting up, unconsciously covering his bare chest with his arms. Eddie just tiredly greeted him, smiling lazily. All Stan did was nod at him and tore his eyes away as Eddie got up and waltz to the bathroom, pant-less as ever.

Stan finished getting dressed and began packing for this trip the Losers were adventuring on. Eddie reassured him that it was exactly a week through the bathroom door. Stan checked to make sure he had seven days’ worth of outfits, including two extra pairs just in case and all the underwear he needed. Of course, seven pairs of PJ’s on top of all that. Since it was by a lake, he made sure to pack his binoculars for birds, and sunscreen he found in the downstairs ‘outdoor materials’ closet.

When he finally came back up into his room and shut the door behind him, he froze to see Eddie naked, except for a towel wrapped tightly around his lower area. Eddie was leaning against the bathroom door, a bit surprised at Stan’s presence. Then, Eddie seemed to look relieved. Stan didn’t share the same emotion.

“Oh my God, where did you go?” Eddie pushed off the door frame and walked closer to Stan. Stan’s face probably looked frightened, because Eddie slowed his pace, so he wasn’t rushing towards Stan anymore. Eddie’s relief turned to concern.

“Are you alright?” Eddie asked, apparently oblivious to the fact that the only thing stopping him from being nude was a thin, purple bath towel.

**_I’m a little more than alright if you catch my drift. Maybe if I let him walk towards me again, God will answer my prayers and his towel will fall right off._ **

“Eddie, you’re nearly naked,” Stan said, a bit too harshly, a blush forming slowly up his neck. Eddie blinked and looked down at the towel around his waist.

“Yeah, I know. I don’t have clothes. I was waiting for you to come back so I can get yours and finally get dressed,” Eddie innocently explained, pouting a bit at the irritation that was still residing on Stan’s face.

Stan swallowed down his embarrassment and muttered: “Oh, well why didn’t you just say so,”. Eddie’s gave him a look, narrowing his eyes at Stan.

“I just did, asshole!” Stan couldn’t help but smile a bit to himself, searching for clothes Eddie could wear. He understood Eddie didn’t want to put on the clothing he wore all day yesterday, especially after already taking a shower. Stan wouldn’t wear clothes twice either.

He settled for a shirt that fit himself a little too tightly. He took the perfectly folded shirt from this draw, turning back to a slightly fuming Eddie, who had his arms crossed. Stan carefully held the shirt out to Eddie.

“This shirt won’t look like a dress on you,” Stan smirked at Eddie, who rolled his pretty eyes and angrily snatched the dark blue shirt from the Jewish boy.

“Shut up,” Eddie mumbled but didn’t go anywhere.

They seemed to be having a staring contest, Stan blinking several times before plainly saying “Well, shoo. Go get it on, naked boy,”. 

Eddie looked at him strangely before resting his face, in realization.

“Oh, I forgot your pants don’t fit. It’s okay, but can I borrow your underwear? Do you wear boxers or tight ones? I could only probably fit your boxers since they’re baggier,” Eddie was conversing, it seemed, with himself.

Stan felt weird, thinking of Eddie in his underwear made him blush again. Stan shook his head, not saying no to Eddie, but to stop the heat from traveling anywhere more than his face. \

“I, uh, have boxers you could borrow,” He finally said, turning to his underwear drawer.

“Thanks! Oh God, I’m really sorry I’m using a shit ton of your stuff. Even that unopened toothbrush you had for me, I really am sorry,” Eddie rambled, but Stan was too busy trying to find the cleanest, newest boxers for Eddie to wear.

“No problem,” He responded slowly, handing Eddie the boxers. Eddie smiled gleefully, bouncing towards the bathroom.

“Really, thanks! I know you’re clean so I’m no scared to wear your stuff. Ugh, if it was Richie, I’d rather wear my used underwear inside out! Do you think the pants I wore yesterday will be okay again? They aren’t really that dirty, right?” Eddie ranted on, for he left the bathroom door open slightly.

Stan let his standing form fall on his bed, staring at the crack that kept the door open, feeling like Eddie might as well get dressed in front of him.

**_I’d kill to see that._ **

“Fucking disgusting,” Stan murmured to himself at his own thoughts, but he leaned to the side, trying to look further into the bathroom. Eddie nearly busted the door open, excited, and now fully dressed.

“Stan, your boxers are comfy,” Eddie beamed at him, and Stan suddenly wished he died in his sleep. It would’ve surely been less painful than hearing those words come out from the Kaspbrak boy’s mouth.  

They quickly ate breakfast, and Stan’s mother kissed him goodbye on the head. She told him to be safe on their trip, for he texted her last night asking if he could go. She obviously had said yes.

They had to stop at Eddie’s house first, Stan hiding his bag in an outside bush, so Mrs. Kaspbrak wouldn’t think they were running away or some shit. After greeting Sonia, Stan waited outside on Eddie’s front steps, every so often hearing the two inside holler answers at another. All he could make out was Eddie saying he would “Be a good boy,” and Stan placed his face in his hands at the very sound of it.

**_Kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me_ **

“Bye Mama! I love you!” Eddie yelled, now standing in the front doorway with a duffel bag, and that same cute back bag from yesterday he had taken to Stan’s house last night. Stan stood up and retrieved his bag from the bushes carefully as Eddie shut the door and walked down his front steps.

“Ugh! She’s so annoying,” Eddie quietly hissed at Stan, as Stan pulled his bag over his shoulder.

Stan gave him a look that said, ‘No shit’, and Eddie sighed, then smiled widely.

“Onward, Stanley!” He giggled out, his smiling wiped off his face as he sneaked a look back at his house, then regained it when looking back at Stan. Stan smiled back, **_Cutie_**.

On their way to Bill’s house, for that was where Mike told Eddie he’d be to pick them up at 9:30 AM, Stan realized how good his shirt fit Eddie. Eddie’s slim torso had the dark material tugged around his frame, almost showing it off. It wasn’t too special since all of Eddie’s shirts were like this.

 ** _But that’s my shirt_** , Stan thought possessively, loving the idea of Eddie wearing his clothes. It reminded Stan of how sporty boyfriend’s give their team hoodies and stuff to their cheerleader girlfriends, in a sick way of claiming them in public. Stan wished the shirt bared his last name on the back of it, suddenly.

 To Stan’s content, Eddie was still wearing his shirt, instead of changing to his own. Stan’s mind wondered to his underwear and if Eddie was still wearing those, too. Stan looked down at Eddie’s hips, checking if he could see any green since that was the color of the boxers Stan gave him.

“Maybe I should switch to boxers, these feel better than my briefs,” Eddie commented curiously as if Stan accidentally said his thoughts aloud.

The comment made Stan’s neck heat up again, snapping his eyes away from Eddie’s form.

 ** _He’s still wearing them_** ; His mind sang out teasingly. Stan held his bag tighter.

“You can keep them. The boxers and the shirt, too,” Stan stated, forcing himself to stare at the way ahead. He saw Eddie’s head turn to him in his peripheral vision, causing him to give in and look at Eddie despite the blush he knew was visible on his cheeks.

“Really? Stan, I can’t, I mean, the shirt probably looks like a crop-top on you, so I’ll keep that. But the boxers? Are you sure?” Eddie didn’t seem to notice the way Stan flushed, because when Stan muttered a “Yeah, sure you can,” Eddie just side hugged him in joy, making it worse.

“Thank you, Stan! They look and feel so new like they came right out of the package! The color is pretty, too,” Eddie had a skip in his step the rest of the way to Bill’s, while Stan’s skip happened in his heart.


	4. Rough Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why is it taking them so long to get this show on the road???  
> Blame Big Bill and Rowdy Richie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back where I actually live, it is 12 hours behind from where I am right now ughhhhhh  
> So, here is Chapter four!  
> Thank you for those who've been reading, if I could make heart-eyes at you, I would ;)  
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> SONG OF THE CHAPTER: Smells like Summer by EARLY HOURS

When they arrived, everybody except Bill himself was downstairs. Stan smiled at the strangeness of it all; everyone was ready and in front of Bill’s house except Bill. Bill technically had the most time, since he wouldn’t have to walk anywhere except out the front door.

Mike’s dad’s van was a cool silver color, making Stan wanna touch it. It looked brand new.

 ** _Like those boxers Eddie’s wearing._** Stan gave himself a mental middle finger before him and Eddie continued to walk closer to their friends, seeing them more clearly.

Ben saw them first, straightening his back to smile excitedly and wave.

“Hey, it’s Eddie and Stan!” He announced, making a patient looking Mike turn his torso and give them a dazzling smile. It also caused a bored looking Richie and Beverly, who were both leaning on Ben, to jump up from their relaxed positions and sit upright. Beverly grinned at the two boys, who were close enough to hear the excited bubble in Bev’s voice.

“You two finally showed, huh? God, I’m so excited to finally have a vacation with my boys,” She exclaimed, looking ecstatic. They finally reached the group as Eddie responded with the same amount of energy as the ginger girl.

“You aren’t kidding, I really need this. I can’t spend another summer stuck inside my house. Come to think of it, I never really went on a vacation before,” Eddie nearly had an epiphany in mid-sentence.

Stan watched as Eddie and Bev’s eyes widened, before their smiles did the same and they both bounced around together.

 “It’s Eddie’s first vacation!” Beverly sang out, before she stopped bouncing and grabbed Eddie’s shoulders motherly-like.

“You know what this means, right? We’re gonna make this vacation even bigger and better than we were before this newly found information,” Beverly vowed bravely, never having any fear in letting her Eddie down; Beverly’s promises were always kept.

Stan gaze shifted from Eddie’s hopeful eyes to take a look at Richie. Richie was of course already looking at him, which Stan’s heart should get used to since he seems to always beat Stan to it. Stan’s heart stuttered nonetheless, despite trying to calm itself down. Richie’s stare was almost asking Stan something, something he couldn’t place.

“When did you get here?” Stan asked, a knowing look on his face. Richie was usually the last (or near last) to arrive to things.

He also decided to play it cool, hoping Richie forgot about the hunger Stan had in his eyes yesterday when last looking at Richie. The Hawaiian-shirt boy blinked at him once more, before letting Stan see that famous, ridiculous grin.

 ** _Ridiculously hot grin, you mean._** Stan wanted to say no, that Richie’s grin wasn’t attractive, but then Stan would be lying ever-so pathetically.

“I actually was the first one here, Stan the man. Surprised I got here before you? Sad you aren’t the early bird?” Richie teased him, pretending his pointer finger was a tear falling down his cheek.

Thank god, Stan could breathe. Richie was normal with him again.

“Oh, please, Trashmouth. You probably didn’t even sleep yet, you and you’re shitty-ass sleeping schedule. Also, Stan had to come with me to my house first so I could pack. It was my fault he wasn’t the first one here,” Eddie defended him humorously, smiling at Richie like he hadn’t just tried to roast the boy in glasses.

Richie gave Eddie a flirty look, raising an eyebrow and leaned forward. Stan could’ve sworn he saw Eddie flush a subtle pink color on his cheeks.

“Wait, did our little Birdie have a taste of Spaghetti last night?” Richie asked playfully, looking around the others, as if trying to start a rumor. Eddie’s face seemed to darken at the claim.

Stan felt his body being set aflame at Richie’s suggestion. Stan’s imagination had been similarly trying to see Eddie and his little, innocent sleepover not so innocent as well.

Beverly and Mike jokingly let out “Oooh’s” like this tea was hot or something, Beverly shaking her shoulders like this was some spicy details.

 Little did they know that this tea was actually _boiling_.

 Eddie face pouted even more, before strolling over to Tozier and hitting his arm with a childish “You’re dumb!”. Eddie crossed his arms and nearly stomped over next to Stan. They made brief eye contact, before both looking to Richie.

Stan shook his head as if he couldn’t believe Richie’s shit, because he truly _can’t_ believe it; Richie was slowly on his way to unmasking Stan’s true intentions and it was a scary thought.

“D-did I m-m-miss something?” Bill’s voice graced them all with his presence, _finally_.

“Yeah, you missed the memo that said we were leaving by 9:30 am,” Beverly snarkily replied, looking up at Bill from the bottom step.

Stan casually grabbed Eddie’s wrist from beside him, earning a small “Hm?” from Eddie he ignored. Stan’s eyes settled on Eddie’s black watch, looking at the time.

“9:48 am,” Stan read aloud, raising a brow at an amused Bill. He awkwardly lowered Eddie’s arm, patting it once it was back at the shorter boy’s side. Eddie also looked amused.

“Yeah! Ha! Loser!” Richie shouted jokingly. They all booed Bill, who just laughed it off, struggling to carry his two bags down the steps. Everyone who wasn’t standing got up from their seats, readying themselves to leave the shitty town for a while.

“Alright, a-alright; I h-had to do chores,” Bill admitted earnestly. They all accepted his excuse with silent nods.

“Ah, Big Bill, you always get away with everything,” Richie complained, jealously running through is tone.

“That’s because Bill’s excuses are understandable and make sense. Last time you were late, you blamed it on the weather,” Ben pointed out.

Richie threw his hands up.

 “That’s a reasonable excuse,” He tried to convince Ben, looking towards the others for help. Beverly shrugged, looking at Eddie, who silently agreed that it was in fact reasonable.

Mike squinted his eyes, before laughing out “It was a sunny day, Richie!” Beverly and Eddie then glared at Richie, feeling betrayed and mislead.

Stan smiled at the scene as he helped Bill and Mike put the remaining bags in the trunk of the Silver van. Bill’s last bag was pretty heavy, and when Bill tried to put it in, he almost dropped it. Stan quickly caught it along with Bill, who’s blue eyes grew wide at the action.

“Oh! T-thank you, Stan,” He said gratefully, as the two of them pulled the bag back upward and slid it on top the other bags. Stan gave him a genuine smile, before brushing his curls off his forehead for a moment.  


“Don’t mention it, Big Bill,” Stan nonchalantly joked, but became aware of how hot the sun felt beating down on him.

Mike checked to make sure all their bags fit orderly in the back of the van, before pulling down the trunk door.

“Alright, gang. Leggo!” Mike exclaimed brightly, pumping a fist into the air. As he jogged over to the driver’s seat, everyone else cheered.

Richie seemed to linger as one of the last ones to get into the Van despite Stan and Bill being behind everyone. The Van held nine people, a three-way seat in the very back, and three pairs of two seats, including the driver and passenger seats.

Eddie sat with Mike in the front, happily looking out the window in wonder already. Ben and Bev shot to the back, the three-seater’s were placed closer together than the two-seaters, great for cuddling Stan supposed.

 That left Bill, Richie, and Stan waiting to enter Van. They all seemed to be waiting for one another to enter first. Stan waited politely for the other two, as everyone in the Van was beginning to get settled for the ride.

But Richie seemed determined to be last, squinting at Bill specifically like it was a scene from the good, the bad, and the ugly. Stan liked to think Bill was the good, Richie was the bad, and he was just straight up ugly.

Bill also looked determined, but almost hesitant. He, too, was giving Richie a stare down.

What the actual fuck? Stan simply looked between the two, confused, before sighing impatiently. He began to pull himself up into the van first.

He then heard viscous pushing and grunting behind him, resulting in being physically pushed forcefully into an open seat.

 He landed with a hard “Oof!”, his cheek throbbing slightly at how it hit the shoulder of the chair. Beverly exclaimed in surprise and fear that Stan got hurt. He hadn’t, but he had been damn close to hitting into the window. This is Mike’s dad’s brand-new van, what were these fuckers _thinking_.

Stan probably looked silly, his back arched unnaturally, perching his ass into the air. Stan gripped the seats slowly and harshly, turning towards the two in a similar manner.

Stan’s eyes were wide, for murder was written in them. Surely, they weren’t dumb enough to fucking push into him. But, oh, they seemed to be, because here he was after the push. He was going to blow his top off, but his vision was blurred with bodies fighting their way into the car like animals. It kind of shocked Stan into shutting his mouth. Richie was shoving Bill behind him and Bill was pulling him back. They looked insane.

**_Why the fuck is this necessary? Did I miss something?_ **

“Woah, back there!” Mike’s sweet voice was the first sane thing Stan encounter in the past few minutes. Stan’s mouth was open, and he nodded, agreeing with Mike’s exclamation.

  
“Yeah, what the hell is this? A wrestling ring?” Eddie complained next to Mike. Stan let his body turn all the way to sit his butt down properly in his car seat.

 He wearily glanced at Beverly and Ben, who were both alertly looking toward the two graveling boys. It looked playful enough, with no intention of harm. However, Beverly’s instinct to make sure no one got hurt kicked in, intently watching the two.

“R-Richie!” Bill choked out. Both were still not even in the damn van fully. Whenever one made it _sort of_ inside, the other did their best the _drag them out_ again. There would surely be bruises on them from the amount of times they took falls on the Van’s hard floor material. It was actually shaking the van around at this point.

Finally, right as Eddie threatened to strangle the two if they kept them waiting a minute longer, Bill pushed through as if a miracle, sitting right next to Stan in a forceful motion. Stan backed up a bit, looking at Bill like he was a wild animal.

**_He will be treated as how he acts._ **

The blue-eyed boy was out of breath but seemed to be grinning like a moron. Which he was in everyone’s book right now anyway? So, there’s that.

**_The same level as Trashmouth, how does it feel Big Bill? Feel good?_ **

 Stan wanted to ask why he seemed so damn happy and also what the fucking point of that fighting was.

“Wow, what a dickhead,” Richie muttered breathlessly towards Bill, his voice seemed bated at the breath. But Stan’s heart jump at the sound, as if Richie had just… Stan tried so hard not to let his brain process the dirty thought, since Bill was still grinning at him (despite Richie’s comment). But Stan apparently was a low-life with no self-control.

**_Wow, is this how Richie is like after he’s fucked?_ **

Stan awkwardly smiled at Bill as the thought crossed his mind, Bill thankfully not being a mind-reader.

Richie banged down into his sit behind Stan and Bill, his breath still bated as he violently strapped himself in. Stan followed the safety notion but watched the two boys surrounding him as if they could attack at any moment. Apparently, they very much could.

“Honestly, what the fuck was that?” Mike questioned incredulously as he started to drive off from Bill’s house. Eddie shot a death look back at them, making Bill’s smile fade as he looked towards the shorter boy.

  
“Yeah, what the actual fuck? You want me to murder you two?” Eddie growled, which made Stan shift in his seat.

**_Mm, somebody has a bad temper. Imagine the angry sex, oh my go-_ **

“I w-wanted to sit with S-s-stan, okay? But Richie was b-being a jackass,” Bill told Eddie. Eddie didn’t seem to care.

“Me!?” Richie’s voice pierced through the air, loud and defensive. “Oh, fuck you Billiam, I called dibs first, I knew you’d fight me on getting the seat- ““-I couldn’t give two shits. You both were acting like complete numbskulls, roughing it in Mike’s family’s new car, are you insane? You both have no brain cells if that excuse really is supposed to convince us what you two did was acceptable. Fuckin’ do it one more time, I swear I’ll go back there-”

 “-Eddie, no worries,” Mike’s voiced cut in, Richie and Bill relaxing at the sound. Mike’s honey voice was a nice comparison to Eddie’s red-hot yelling one.

 “Stan is a very cute guy. If I wasn’t driving, I’d want to sit with him, too,” Mike’s voice was light and easy, chuckling lowly. Bill seemed to straighten himself almost inhumanly and he heard Richie scoff behind him.

Stan looked up at the driver’s mirror to see Mike wink at him in a friendly manner.

 Stan’s heart quickened, thinking about if Richie wanted to sit with him because he was cute. 

Eddie took Mike’s advice and stopped lecturing the two boys, but he then shot those two one last death glare, muttering “I fucking swear to God, behave,” Which made the others not being yelled at laugh.

**_What a good boy, putting them in their places._ **

Stan couldn’t help but stifle a laugh as well. He was happy Eddie was doing him the honors and being angry enough for everyone. If not for Eddie, Stan would be in the lecturing position.

Eddie kept a hard look on the two before moving his eyes to Stan, where they immediately softened. Stan assumed Eddie learned how to look so scary-angry from his mother, who was quite chilling herself.

Eddie rolled his big brown eyes, as if to say to Stan ‘These idiots, am I right?’ And Stan rolled his eyes back and smiled, as if to say ‘Totally,’.

Eddie turned his pretty, little self forward again, leaving Stan sitting next to a quiet Bill and a seat in front of a brooding Richie.

**_Well, this car ride will be painful._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up: Mike doesn't like Stan... that wink was just a cute, supporting platonic love.  
> Bill, on the other hand.... Well, he's got it bad, folks.  
> Until next time (at the rate I'm going, might as well say tomorrow or the day after) haha


	5. Boyfriend Material

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan wakes up in the car leaning on Richie.  
> Eddie's shirt is revealed to be Stan's, and things get a bit outta hand.  
> They make it to the vacation house finally.  
> Dirty thoughts and flirting should almost always be assumed included in my writings ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY NEW CHAPTER IM SO SORRY FOR MAKING YOU GUYS WAIT. I haven't been in my country due to vacation and got hospitalized briefly cause I kept on getting sick. I am better now, so hopefully, I will update faster for you guys. I promised this chapter to a few of you a few days ago, and I broke that promise so I MADE THIS LONGER THAN USUAL PLEASE ACCEPT MY APOLOGY AND ENJOY!!!!!

Stan fell asleep during the car ride at some point after Mike turned music on at a nice, soft level. It hushed him into a sleep, falling against the window. But, when he woke up, he was leaning on something softer than the glass of a van window.

That, and they weren’t moving. Stan groggily groaned, moving his head around to look up. When he did, he saw a sleeping Richie. His body shot up quicker than his mind could register. Wait, what in God’s name? Stan pulled is arms towards himself in a fearful manner.

When did Richie replace Bill and when did Richie replace the window he had fell asleep on? He looked to front seats, but Mike and Eddie were gone. The van was parked, it looked like they stopped at a gas station. Stan’s face probably looked frightened, because in a sense he was. Suddenly, he heard Ben voice his concern.

“Hey, Stan, you alright?” He asked thoughtfully. Ben looked sleepy, probably was startled by a violently fast-at-sitting-up Stan a couple of moments before. Stan looked at his tired face and then down at a sleeping Beverly in his lap. Had Stan been in that position as well? He looked down at where he came from, which was also Richie’s crotch.

**_Yeah, Ben, I’m doing fine. Just got the closest I’ll ever get to Richie’s dick by sleeping on it. I feel fantastic, so great that death is the only way out of this A status torture._ **

“Yeah, I-I,” He held his head, feeling dizzy from how fast he has shot up from is sleeping position.

He heard someone clear their throat, which alerted him that Bill was awake as well, but in Richie’s old seat.

“I just had a nightmare is all,” Stan tried to smile at Ben, and then offered it to Bill as well.

Ben nodded, chuckling quietly, “You nearly gave me a heart attack,” Ben told him.

Stan dropped his hand from his head, frowning a bit. “I’m sorry,”.

Ben put his hand up and shook his head. “Oh no, no worries, Stan,” he reassured.

Stan nodded, their conversation ending as Ben snuggled into his head-rest again, closing his eyes. But when he looked a Bill again, his eyes hadn’t changed since he saw them last. They were wide and curious.

“W-what was your night m-mare?” Bill suddenly asked. Stan looked back at Ben, who already had his mouth open a bit, insinuating that he was drifting to sleep. He leaned forward as if it were a secret. Bill leaned forward to hear it.

“Richie was trying to talk to me,” Stan whispered jokingly, having Bill roll his eyes knowingly, a lopsided smile on his face.

“You s-sure it wasn’t t-the fact that his crotch w-w-was in your face?” Bill worked out, raising a brow. Stan’s clever smile faltered, before glaring at Bill.

“That’s a nightmare in itself,” He said, and Bill found it funny. Little did Bill know was that he was laughing at Stan’s sad, suffering life.

Richie moaned in his sleep, pulling Stan’s attention to the curly-haired Trashmouth. Stan wished he was deaf, so he could never know what Richie’s soft noises sounded like. However, at the same time, he knew he’d replay the sound over and over again later on when he needed it.

**_Again, Richie, be a good boy and do it again._ **

Stan’s eyebrows furrowed at his out of control thoughts, cringing at his animalistic side. His anxiety kicked in then.

**_Wait, no! Not again! It’ll only make things-_ **

As if God granted his wish, Richie moved around once more in his deep sleep, moaning aloud before shifting his head on the head-rest. 

Stan was repulsed with himself, making a face while staring at the beautiful Tozier boy. It must’ve looked like he was grimacing at _Richie_ _instead_ , because Bill laughed once more, bringing Stan out of his little world.

“M-music to your ears, r-right Stan?” Bill said sarcastically, thinking Stan was revolted by Richie’s noises. Stan looked at Bill with wide eyes, his mouth pulled downwards into a frown.

**_Oh, you have no idea._ **

Before Stan had the chance to lie, the car doors flew open in the front, turning Stan’s attention to Mike and Eddie, who were making their way back inside. Eddie had bags of McDonald’s, and Mike carried all seven drinks in two holders, impressively. Eddie sat down and put some bags on the seat next to his thigh, leaned over, and opened the driver’s door for Mike.

Stan looked out the window, trying to spot the McDonald’s down the strip of stores next to the gas station. He found the red and yellow sign, wondering how long the two boys had been gone, and how much of that he was asleep for. It couldn’t have been long.

“Hey guys, could you hold these? I would, but I don’t want them to spill as I drive,” Mike asked Stan and Bill, nodding down at the drinks. Bill answered before Stan could, with a simple, “S-sure thing, Mikey”.

Mike safely passed the cup holders to Stan and Bill as Eddie slammed his door shut a little too hard. “Oh! Sorry, Mike, that was an accident!”

Richie shot up from his wide-mouthed sleeping position and looked around alertly, his arms shot out to grab something that seemingly wasn’t there.

The sound was loud enough to even stir Bev from her comfortable seat in Ben’s lap with a small groan. Mike’s chuckles were heard then, “No worries Eddie, I do it all the time,” he reassured the boy with bags on his lap.

Stan’s eyes were wide from Richie nearly failing his arms to hit into the drinks he held, Richie met his gaze. His tired dark eyes searched Stan’s face, lingering on Stan’s mouth momentarily before grinning.

“What’s cookin’ good lookin’?” Richie’s scratchy sleep voice managed to say smoothly. Eddie turned to watch, for some reason. Stan’s heart was going bat-shit crazy, with both their eyes on him.

“Please kill yourself, thanks,” Stan said, his face as blank as he could make it, staring at how Richie was still grinning widely. Eddie snorted at that, and Bill seemed pleased as well, Stan catching a smile form on the Blue-eyed boy’s lips. Mike started the car and began to get them back on the road.

“Gladly,” Richie said, pretending to snap his neck and die, making his body go limp and tongue hang out of his mouth. Bev giggled at the idiocy she’d just witnessed.

Richie’s limp arm slapped down onto Stan’s lap, scary close to his crotch. Stan instinctively jumped and his back hit into the window. Eddie’s smile faltered a bit, his gaze finding where Richie’s hand still was, despite Stan’s attempt to get it off. Stan’s hands were full holding half of their drinks, he couldn’t even move it.

He began to awkwardly lift his thigh trying to make his hand fall off, but he could only elevate himself so much. If anything, lifting himself to stand only brought Richie’s hand closer to him. Stan let out a whine at the thought, becoming nervous. His sound was mistaken as displeasure, and Bill cackled at the sight of Stan’s attempt. Stan gave up and sat down, glowering at the fake-dead asshat he calls his friend.

“How are you still pretending? Get the hell off me!” Stan complained, his grip tightening onto the cardboard holders and he lifted his leg slightly. Eddie cleared his throat, sounding almost uncomfortable as Stan himself. Bill and Stan looked at the Kaspbrak boy, who pulled the shirt he had on by the collar.

“Y-yeah, Rich, Stan’s gonna drop the drinks!” Eddie stated irritably. Stan looked at the way Eddie gripped at his shirt, it was going to stretch soon if he didn’t quit it.

“I’m not even laying on him,” Richie muttered, still laying in his false-death position. Stan rolled his eyes, about to say that his _dirty_ hand was on Stan’s thigh. But before he could retort to the Tozier boy, Beverly spoke up.

“Eddie, is that a new shirt? That color is a new one for you, it looks cute!” She gushed, leaning forward towards Bill to get a better look. Eddie looked down at it, his grip loosening a good amount. A smile found Eddie’s lips, looking at a blushing Stan briefly before looking back at the ginger girl.

“Thank you, it’s actually Stan’s shirt,” Eddie happily announced, before looking back down at the dark blue shirt and smiling softly, playing with the hem of it.

Stan almost had a seizure as Richie jolted up faster than he had when the car door slammed before, nearly knocking the drinks out of Stan’s steady hands.

“Richie, what the fuck- ”- Wait a second now, that’s Stan’s?” Richie interrupted Stan’s exclamation of surprise, pointing at Eddie’s chest. Eddie smoothed out his sides, adjusting the way he was turning to look at them, so he could face them fully.

“Yeah, I slept over and had no clothes, so he gave me this one,” Eddie looked at Richie’s gaping mouth, trying not to flush the pretty blush color he was bound to anyway.

Stan’s face was also turning shades of pink, looking between the two, with his lip tight and his shoulders stiff.

**_Don’t tell them about the boxers, please don’t mention it._ **

Eddie looked into Stan’s wide eyes and tore them away just as fast. Richie let out a laugh that was like a hyena’s. Stan glared at him before deciding to sit properly and face forward.

“S-Shut up Richie, it l-looks cute,” Bill managed to say, making Stan smile at him.

**_Cute is not the only word I’d use William, but it’s a start._ **

Richie scoffed, leaning back, crossing his arms.

“Don’t get me wrong, Eddie looks absolutely _precious_ in that shirt. I’m just laughin’ about how I was right before,” Richie raised his eyebrows at a now glowering Stan, smirking into the Jewish boy’s face.

“Before?” Ben asked with furrowed brows, also listening to the conversation.

Richie’s smirk somehow became more douchey than before, narrowing his dark brown eyes into a mischievous gaze.

“Stan the man _did_ taste some spaghetti last night,” Richie said, a little too matter-of-factly, almost like it wasn’t really a joke. Stan’s heartbeat stuttered for a moment, before realizing this had to be just another shitty joke where Richie didn’t think before speaking. Richie was very well aware of what he was saying, however.

“Sure, Richie, I had spaghetti for dinner last night, how’d you know?” Stan sarcastically drawled out, trying to keep his voice as monotone as possible. Richie let out chuckles, implying he was either nervous or was enjoying his joke.

“How did it taste? Was it saucy? I heard Eddie likes to get a lil’ saucy,” Richie asked through a laugh, wiggling his eyebrows at Stan. Stan couldn’t help but let a small smile slip. Ben let out a hearty laugh at how Richie couldn’t even hold back his own laughter.

“You’re a jerk,” Stan breathed out the ghost of a chuckle, looking at Eddie. Eddie’s glare could’ve killed him.

“Betrayed. I was just betrayed by our voice of reason, guys. Can you believe the clownery?” Eddie ranted on, turning back to face the front window. Mike laughed at Eddie’s comments, shaking his head, and telling Eddie that he “Shouldn’t worry too much, the shirt looked perfect on him”.

“Is it comfy?” Beverly asked Eddie fondly. Stanley secretly scowled, wondering why Beverly was so pressing about the piece of clothing.

Eddie turned his head, to nod and let himself grin. Beverly smirked at Stan, before looking at Eddie and teasing,

“That makes Stan good boyfriend material,”.

Stan rolled his eyes and looked at Bill, trying to ignore the fact that heat rushed up his neck. Bill had already been looking at him, smiling a calm smile.

“Y-yeah, I bet Stan is,” Bill clearly agreed, barely stuttering. Stan felt the heat spread from his neck to his cheeks. Richie let out a dry laugh at Bill’s comment.

“Of course, Stan would be a bangin’ boyfriend, figuratively and literally,” Richie said to Bill with attitude, his tone sounding identical to that time he told their English teacher off in High School.

Stan didn’t miss Richie’s implied ‘banging’ topic, as if Stan would be any good. Nevertheless, it caused Stan to look out the window with a pink face, away from their conversation, in hopes of returning to his normal skin-tone.

He then was hoping they would arrive at Mike’s vacation house sooner than later, because now (Thanks to Bev) Richie was asking for one of his shirts, saying he wanted to know what it felt like to a have boyfriend material clothing.

Stan offered him socks, and Richie pouted almost the entire way to the house, to Stan’s annoyance. Richie kept badgering him for a shirt, saying he needs a new one, specifically from Stanley himself. Stan knew he was joking, but it concerned him with how long Richie was taking to end it.

“Pah-lease, Staniel, I wanna feel what it’s like to have a warm, soft boyfriend,” Richie whined out, leaning onto Stan. Fuck, Stan couldn’t lie to himself, he wanted to give Richie just that, especially after the sound Richie had slipped out.

He wanted to give in and pretend to make Richie his, just like how he’d pretended with Eddie. He wanted to mark Richie in his clothing for nobody else but Eddie and him. Stan’s eye winced at the dark feeling that was suddenly rising in his chest.

**_They’ll never be yours, Stanley. Give it up already, Richie’s just dumb and Eddie just needed clothes. It meant nothing._ **

“Richie, there’s a thing called personal space,” Stan ignored the other boy’s pleas, his voice becoming strict and final. Richie’s bottom lip jutted out and he slumped his lanky body off Stan and down into the car seat.

There were no longer highways surrounding them but houses instead. They must be getting closer, Stan could only hope. He needed to get the hell away from Richie. He was afraid he’d either yell in irritation or give-in and promise him a shirt; both options were seemingly undesirable.

“I wanna put on your shirt,” Richie mumbled childishly, his head lazily thrown back on the head-rest, giving Stan puppy eyes. Those eyes were magnified behind his thick frames while staring him down, begging Stan to give Richie what he wants.

“If Stan’s shirts are soft, I want to have one, too,” Mike added happily, causing Bill to agree with a raised hand and a cheerful “Me too!”.

Stan couldn’t believe that they were playing along with the Trashmouth. Stan narrowed his eyes towards a somewhat hopeful Richie.

“If I would’ve known it would start a discord, I would have never given that shirt to Eddie,” Stan fibbed.

Beverly gasped out “Stan, that’s mean,” before smiling again. It was almost like she knew he would’ve still given Eddie that damn shirt and would still probably give one to Richie as well. Stan tightened his mouth shut, knowing that, fuck, he probably would.

“We’re about there by the way,” Mike announced to everyone, which earned him cheers and hoots.

Stan couldn’t help the grin that pulled onto his face. Partially, he was relieved that Richie’s attention would be off getting one of his shirts, but mostly Stan was grateful for arriving because Derry was honestly a drag. The Loser’s deserved this, and they have for a while.

And as they finally did arrive, they pulled down a pathway to see a beautiful three-floor house with big front doors and a gorgeous balcony on the third floor. Stan heard the others verbally voice their amazement, but all Stan could do was stare out the window at the amazing place.

“Holy shit, Mike, you didn’t tell us your Uncle’s rich!” Richie exclaimed, fixing his glasses as he pushed against his window to look up towards the house.

Mike laughed, telling them that his Uncle never married, so he has a good job and all that money for himself. They all exited the car fast due to the excitement and began to take their bags and brought them into the house. The 30 seconds Stan was out of the car and in the heat of the Summer afternoon made him wish he could feel the oh-so-sweet cold again. The sunshine beamed down onto his body, as he got out of the van with the sodas, which were dripping cold water drops of condensation. Stan walked through the doorway, making sure the drinks were in all ways safe. The air conditioning hit him the instant he stepped through the door, like an icebox.

Stan carefully placed their drinks onto the counter in the kitchen, which Stan was in love with. The floors in the house were marble, and so were the kitchen counter tops. Stan looked over into the comfortable, welcoming living room, and found his eyes following the couches to the stairs that no doubt lead to more lovely rooms. This house was quite close to his dream house.

He sadly had to leave it to retrieve his bags, though. Jokingly, he blew a kiss to the front door before walking back to the car reluctantly. The kiss translating to “No worries, my love, I will return”. 

When he walked out the front door, he let out a sound of disgust due to the humidity and warmth that hit his previously cooled face. He trotted down the steps and towards the car, about to pass by a spaced-out Eddie. The brunette was carrying his duffel bag to the house, trying to get out of the heat.

Eddie’s unfocused doe eyes snapped to Stan as they passed one another. Stan made eye contact unwillingly and forced a small smile, which Eddie returned warmly. Stan needs to stop obsessing over the fact that Eddie is wearing his clothing, honestly, it’s to the point where it sounds like an unordinary kink and it needs to stop. Eddie is Stan’s friend, nothing more and nothing less. 

**_Unordinary or not, it’s hot because Eddie’s hot._ **

Stan tried to hold back a scowl at his inner demons since Eddie could still see his face. He let his false smile and façade drop as Eddie was now behind him, and Stan was finally making it to the van. That didn’t stop Stan from letting his neck crane and drop to follow the way Eddie’s ass looked as he walked away.

 ** _Oh God, what he’d look like wearing nothing else but my boxers._**

Stan tried to shake the dirty comments from his head as he investigated the open trunk for his own bag. He found it and then bent over to pull the slightly heavy purple bag towards him. Richie snuck up on Stan when he was lifting his bag out of the trunk.

“Hey, pretty boy. It’s a little hot out here, don’t cha think?” Richie asked in his best Danny Zuko voice. Stan turned to look at Richie through squinted eyes, due to the brightness of the sun. 

Richie was leaning against the side of the van, his legs crossed as well as his arms. The sunlight reflected off his glasses, making it nearly impossible to see where Richie’s dark brown eyes were looking. Stan checked and made sure his bag was the last one to go inside, now that the trunk was empty, shutting the door closed. Stan threw the bag over his shoulder in a dramatic manner and began to walk pass Richie.

“Ya know, Grease?” Richie gave an open-mouthed smile and jazz hands, hoping Stan would catch on.

Richie felt his Zuko act fade, disappointment dragged down in his chest a bit as his hands dropped to the side.

Maybe Stan didn’t wanna be bothered with him right now, he was busy focusing on helping and bringing his bags in. Maybe Stan was still pissed off about when he pretended to die. Oh! Or maybe it was the whole shirt thing… Hell, Richie didn’t even really know if it was just Stan being Stan. Sometimes, Stan was a hard cookie to read.

Richie turned to face Stan’s body, eyes raking down to the way the dirty blonde’s waist twisted femininely with his bottom and legs. Richie’s eyes shot up and tried to act casual as he saw Stan come to a holt a few feet away from him. He looked at the way Stan’s light brown eyes gazed playfully over the shoulder.

“Tell me about it, Stud,” Stan said in a velvety voice that Richie could’ve sworn made it sound like he was close to purring.

Stan hoped that was close enough to what Sandy from Grease sounded like.

Richie felt his mouth drop open at the sound a bit, his eyes wide. Stan could now see Tozier’s face and was satisfied with the reaction, isn’t this back and forth of silly voices what Richie wanted? Richie watched Stan break into a heartwarming smile, and Richie felt himself smile involuntarily.

“I don’t remember Sandy sounding so hot,” Richie admitted playfully at Stan, as he got up from resting against the car and got closer the other. Stan’s face heated up for an entirely different reason, rolling his eyes despite the smile that still ghosted his lips.

“That’s because I’m the hotter blonde,” Stan said plainly. Richie's eyes widened even more as he cackled a loud laugh that led into a “Ho ho, I believe it!”

Stan pulled the bag in front of himself with a smirk, shaking his head at Richie’s excitement. Stan loved to play along with Richie’s speal since it always made the dark-haired boy ecstatic.

And with that, Richie turned to the car and locked it with the van’s keys Mike gave to him to do so. He blushed at the flirty and cheeky mood Stan had spontaneously entered and wished to God it would never go away.  


Cockiness looked sexy on the blonde boy and Richie, as he shut the door behind them, knew this trip was the perfect chance to see Stan like that. Eddie always had that attractive fieriness within him, but maybe being away from Depressing DerryTM and having no school work to twist his panties up was good for Stan.

Richie handed the keys back to Mike with a smile, looking over at Eddie eating his fries, enthusiastically talking to Ben, and Stan starting to open his McDonalds, listening to their conversation calmly. Richie bit down a grin, as he grabbed his own bag and waltz into the next 7 days of bliss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Richie's POV next chapter SUrpRIse!
> 
> Hopefully will update by the end of the weekend <3 xoxox


	6. Cliché

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie tries to deal with the fact that he's sharing a bedroom with Stan and Eddie. He reflects on what happened between Bill and him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS:  
> No smut but smutty thoughts?  
> Also Angst.  
> I cried a little while writing the end.
> 
> SONG OF THE CHAPTER: Mortimers Blues by Adia Victoria

  
It was now much later in the day, everybody deciding to hit the hay earlier than their usual late-night hangouts due to the exhaustion of traveling. Richie was currently inside of the bathroom that was in the bedroom he’d been ‘assigned’. He had no shirt on, readying himself for the shower. Richie has had his heart in his throat since Mike announced during dinner how many bedrooms there were.

“ _Because there are three bedrooms, we gotta share,” Mike explained, taking a few fries before putting them into his mouth. “We also will definitely have to share beds,” Mike continued as he chewed his fries._

_Richie had almost choked on his damn big mac. With his eyes wide, he cleared his throat as the others looked over to him curiously wondering if he was actually choking. Richie's eyes fell to a startled Eddie, who looked ready to help him, doe eyes big and adorable. Stan had a single fry, carefully held up to his mouth, frozen to watch Richie’s next move._

_Richie had a mouth full of big mac but tried to smile anyway, hiding the fact that his brain was opening like 72 internet explorer tabs about what room he’d be stuck in and how he hoped it wasn’t Stan or Eddie._

_The messy smile earned him groans of repulsion, and Mike continuing to tell them about the rooms’ sizes and how many beds per room. Richie felt like he was malfunctioning by the time he realized who his roommates would be for this trip._

He leaned down on the sink with both hands, looking into his own dark eyes.

 “Calm down, Rich, ‘ya gotta calm down,” He exhaled, trying to focus on breathing instead of who was on the other side of the wooden bathroom door. He could hear Stan and Eddie’s voices muffled, conversing calmly like they were at a brunch tea or something.

“See, they’re perfectly calm! Why can’t you be?” He gave himself a dirty look as he pointed at himself. He heard a heavenly laugh come bubbling out of Eddie’s throat through the door, and he watched his face soften at the sound. Being like this wasn’t good.

He rolled his eyes at the way he was talking to himself as if expecting an answer. He brought his hands up to rub his face in frustration, before running it up into his curls.

“This is fucking crazy, they’re just my friends,” He muttered, trying to convince himself that sleeping in the room with them was really not a big deal. They’ve slept-over millions of times before this.

**_It’s not a big deal to them because they don’t love you the way you love them, asshole._ **

Richie scoffed, still hearing the nice sounding voices of the other two as if it were all _hunky-dory._ It was, for them. It should be for Richie, too. However, the more Richie stood there, staring at his pathetic self, and zoning into the fact that they would never want him the same as he wants them, it felt like he was going to burst.

A sudden knock at the bathroom door made Richie jump and hit his knee into the sink’s lower cabinets, cursing under bated breath. That’ll be some bruise.

 “Hey Richie, you’ve been in there for a while, you good in there?” Eddie’s sugary-sweet voice came through the door. Richie blinked at the door, walking closer to where Eddie was despite still feeling the throb in his knee. Richie made it to the white painted door and just stared at it.

He almost didn’t know what to say to Eddie, as if he’d been in a nightmare of his own mind for hours and this was the first human interaction in forever.

“Chee, can you hear me?” Eddie’s voice, clear and concise, had irritation yet worry twirled into his tone. The mere sound of it made Richie’s chest flutter.

Richie shuffled his feet closer to the door, resting his forehead against it in a way that Richie imagined was Eddie’s forehead instead. He was looking down through his curly bangs and at his bare feet, feeling himself smile as he saw Eddie’s shadow move. Richie knew Eddie was shifting impatiently from one leg to the other, waiting for Richie to respond.

“Richie!” He heard from farther away, feeling the fluttering in his chest heighten, knowing it was Stan.

“Hmm?” Richie hummed, the vibrations tickling his throat as he put his arms above his head to lean on the door. He lifted his head off the door and saw the doorknob stiffen, meaning Eddie was going to enter the bathroom, but suddenly froze.

Richie’s mouth twitched, staring at the doorknob, almost asking for Eddie to come in so he could make a foolish mistake like the dumbass he was and kiss him. Richie felt his mouth go dry as he heard the two boys conversing lowly, creating the illusion of sweet nothings being whispered into Richie’s ears.

Richie closed his eyes and his jaw went slack. Imagining the two boys, on either side of him, whispering hotly into his ears was going to drive him even crazier than he already was. Lost in the moment that wasn’t truly there, he let his head weakly fall against the door again, creating a thump when making contact. His knees felt weak, and he let his posture falter, feeling as though they’d give out.

“Are you okay? What the fuck is happening in there?” Eddie asked curiously, also getting closer to the door, as if he too was also pressing his forehead against it. Richie wished there was no door, just Eddie pressing himself closer to him.

“I need to shower,” Richie said in a low voice as if Eddie was standing right in front of him. Hell, it nearly felt as if he were.

Eddie cleared his throat, and if he had opened the door, Richie would’ve seen Eddie’s face bloomed into a lovely red color. Richie heard a confused Stan ask, “What’d he say?”

 Richie turned his body around and slid down the door as he heard Eddie relay back to Stan what he’d said.

“No shit, Tozier, why aren’t you taking it already? You’ve been in there for a good 45 minutes!” Stan’s no-nonsense tone fell to Richie’s ears, making the black-haired boy giddy at how close Stan was to blowing his top.

**_I could be the top that Stan blows_ **

Feeling flush, his legs spread open in a lude fashion. Richie closed his eyes at the thought. Fuck, if he kept this up, he’d have to finish himself off in the shower just to make sure they don’t see an excited Richie junior.

“Tozier!” Stan’s loud impatience will probably wake the others in the house if they are sleeping.

“Richie, don't make us kick this door down and beat the living shit out of you!” Eddie harshly said, his voice so close Richie knew he had to be pressing against it.

“We don’t care if you take long- just answer us when we ask… you stuff,” Eddie said wearily, in a voice that trailed off in a fear. The kind of fear that happened when you are in the wild and a tiger was coming for you but only Eddie could see it.

The scene is a good match to the situation, in a sense, since Richie then realized Stan had lost his nearly-there patience with Richie’s very-much-present stupidity.

 He heard noises and grumbling and became aware that Stan was now getting up and making his way to the bathroom door, irritated and fuming. Richie shot up to stand and swerved on his heels, unlocking, and opening the door as the blonde boy approached.

Richie made eye-contact with a fiery-red Stan, his eyes stern but still so lovely, and his hand raised to knock on the door. He lowered it just to cross his arms in a scary yet calm manner: the looming tiger ready to strike.

He looked at Eddie, who Stan had pushed behind, looking at Richie with a similar annoyance, yet pity. Pity that Stan had gotten so upset with Richie’s silence. What were they, worried?

Richie felt his heartbeat quicken again. His eyelids lowered lustfully, hoping neither of the boys could tell it was genuine. Eddie’s eyes flickered down to Richie’s exposed collar bones, squirming at the fact that Richie was shirtless behind the door.

“I can’t focus while I hear both of your nagging voices,” Richie huffed, peering out the partially opened door, resting his forearm against the doorframe. Stan’s eyebrows raised as if to ask Richie ‘you are fucking kidding me, right?’. As an answer, Richie dropped his arm and curled his fingers around his imaginary dick. The two boys’ eyes dropped to watch his hand pump a few times on that said imaginary dick.

“I’m busy, if you know what I mean,” He drawled out, letting his hand drop from his invisible jerking-off.

He watched in satisfaction as Stan’s fierce presence shrunk and went from an intimidating stance to an embarrassed posture. The Jewish boy’s cheeks grew a dusty pink, despite himself. He opened his mouth to speak but shut it just as fast.

“Well, fucking put a sock on the door,” Eddie said a little too fast, and when Richie looked over at him, had a red, blushing face as well, fingers nervously by his mouth. Eddie did that anxious tick, nail-biting when it came to anything sexual or disgusting. Richie could only assume that the two were synonyms in Eddie’s dictionary.

“I don’t care. Answer us anyway, so we know you didn’t slip and crack your head open,” Stan muttered, his pink getting more noticeable, crossing his arms almost defensively. Richie felt so bad, he didn’t mean it, but his dick throbbed at the thought of Stan wanting to talk while Richie jacks it.

It’s enough evidence to know how horny a person Richie truly was. He could picture Eddie yelling his name, not knowing Richie imagined the shorter boy screaming for other reasons. He could picture Stan asking if he was okay, and Richie biting back a moan to tell him, yes, fuck yes, he was better than okay. Talking was something Richie liked, especially when he was being talked to while he…

Richie felt himself hardening at his own thoughts. He couldn’t be standing here like a pervert anymore, looking them in eye as he daydreamed about them. It needed to end, whatever this conversation was.

“Mmm okay. But through the door, will you talk dirty to me?” Richie grinned like the asshole he was, knowing that this was the quickest way out of the situation.

All of him meant what he’d asked, but he tried his best to come off as joking, so they’d set him loose.

Stan let out a noise that was probably meant to show how offended he was at the inclination, but in Richie’s horny state it sounded more like an invitation.

**_Ask him again, maybe you all could-_ **

Richie was saved from his own sinful thoughts, by Eddie whacking him on the head. It hurt a little, but Richie could only silently thank him for letting this be the end of his suffering. He could go back into hiding soon enough.

“Go fucking take a shower so we can sleep, dispshit. Me and Stan still need to brush our teeth,” Eddie growled, making Richie bite his lip a bit, thinking about how much he loved Eddie when he made angry little noises like that. Eddie turned to walk away, dismissing Richie from their conversation.

Stan stood still, however, staring at Richie with unreadable brown eyes. And then, low enough that Eddie couldn’t hear, Stan breathed out, “If anyone were to talk dirty to you through a goddamn bathroom door, it’d be Eddie,”

Stan’s eye glimmered in a way that Richie’s never seen before, causing any sort of retort to die in his throat as a result. Before Richie could collect himself, Stan stepped forward and shoved a shocked Richie back into the bathroom by his curly head (why was that their target today?).

Stan then pulled the door closed on Richie in fear he’d run his mouth again. He leaned up against it momentarily, before walking back to Eddie, trying to shake off the dizziness he felt from the whole situation.

Richie’s mind was racing, his heart was heaving, and his pants were tightening despite his efforts to keep himself calm. He couldn’t give into this feeling, it’d only make his ridiculous yearning for Eddie and Stan to grow. And it’d grow into something hurtful in the long run, something uncontrollable.

Richie walked towards the shower, pushing his pants and underwear down together, letting them slip and pool at his feet before kicking them off in a lazy manner. Now naked, he caught a glimpse of a lonely boy in the mirror, knowing that this would surely be the death of him. He glared at himself in hatred, before looking down at his groin. It was still excited, slightly curved up in a half-hard stance. Richie nearly laughed at himself, pathetic little Richie.

It was almost as if his crotch was hopefully asking him if they’d be getting any kind of release. To that, Richie would’ve responded with a mental tea sip and a sassy, “Oh, you haven’t heard?”

Rolling his eyes at himself, he continued his journey to the shower, which was pretty far from the door. Hell, the bathroom was huge. Rich man that Uncle of Mike’s had to be. Does every bathroom look like this? It could easily be the size of a bedroom.

At the thought of said bedroom, he heard the talking that had been already happening flood his ears as if he were tuning in, listening to the way Eddie tried to pull cute laughs out of Stan, and how patient he was while doing so. Richie was frozen, holding the silver handle to the shower door, shaking off the affectionate thoughts so he could just get over with this shower already.

Richie opened the see-through door to the shower, feeling weird about the fancy stones that made up the flooring. They made his feet feel weird. He struggled with the knobs at first, accidentally turning on the smaller hose so ice water fell on his head, making him gasp. But, he understood them quick enough to find the perfect temperature between hot and boiling.

He sighed involuntarily once the hot water hit his chest, realizing how strung out he really was. He tried to relax his body, closing his eyes as the high-pressure water pounded hotly down on his back. He hung his head, crossing his arms to feel the water sliding down them and his legs.

 He heard Stan yell Eddie’s name, followed by glorious laughter, and his eyes shot open.

Due to the position of his head, he got a perfect view of his lower half, seeing that the pleasure from a few minutes ago still raged within him. He scoffed at himself, lifting his head up to be hammered lovingly by the hot water.

He hummed unconsciously, trying to concentrate on something other than how sexy Eddie is lounging around in his Pajama shorts and how hot Stan looks when his curls are still damp. Richie bit his bottom lip, groaning in agony of his efforts failing, and turned to face the hose above him.

This is punishment, feel it, Richie, he thought to himself.

**_Could someone drown in the shower?_ **

If you try hard enough, Richie answered himself, smiling at the sheer stupidity that resided within him.

He felt water on hitting his face in rhythmic patterns and closed his eyes accordingly. Think about something else, Richie. Think about something that kills your boner.

“Gretta Keene,” He muttered, looking through wet hair, down at his dick. No avail.

“Eddie’s mom kissing you,” He said with a grimace, still feeling that his boner was dying, but dying too slow for his comfort.

Think, Richie, think, think, think! What makes you so angry, angry enough your wang will settle dow-

“Bill,” Richie almost growled, feeling a heat of anger rise inside him. Mr. Perfect himself was at the top of Richie’s No-no list, for what he’d said and done.

 Richie rubbed his face under the water, and through his soaked hair and reached for the Shampoo Stan brought for himself. Eh, Stan won’t mind if he used it, right? Nah.

He poured a handful of the glazy pink substance in his palm, before putting the bottle down, working it into his curls.

Fuck Bill Denbrough. They’d been friends forever, even before Ben moved to Derry and Beverly weaved her way into the group. Oh no, Bill, he’d known since Kindergarten. But something changed. That big blue-eyed kid that shared his PB & J with him in third grade was not someone who shared anything. He didn’t even give Richie the time of day, to explain himself. Bill Denbrough heard but pretended he was deaf. Bill Denbrough was a taker, he was selfish, so unlike the unspoken leader he’d always been, and Richie couldn’t believe it. It broke his heart, really.

_“W-what is it, Rich?” Bill asked, his eyebrows furrowed together in worry. They were inside of Stan’s supply closet, ironic that Richie was technically about the ‘come-out’ of a metaphoric closet was gold. Richie would laugh if it weren’t for his circumstance._

_He looked deep into Bill’s eyes, holding his shoulders, before taking a breath. He could do this, he trusted Bill with his damn life. He’d do anything for the fucker._

_“Okay, Billiam, prepare yourself because I really trust you and need to tell you something. I need help, advice I guess,” Richie felt embarrassment and shame flood his body, heating up his face._

_The others were in the middle of watching a movie in the living room, and on Bill’s way to get more soda, Richie thought it’d be the perfect alone time to ask. So, like the weirdo he was, he followed Bill and pulled him into the hallway closet._

_Bill looked unsure but said “Of course, Richie. Y-you can tell me a-anything,”. Richie believed him. He really did._

_“Well, you see, I like someone,” Richie blurted out, feeling like he was screaming yet he was nearly whispering at this point. Bill’s face contorted strangely, raising an eyebrow before letting himself smirk at the Tozier boy._

_“Ah, I see, Trashmouth f-found his garb-bage can, huh?” Bill joked, and it made Richie a little less tense than he was previously, laughing._

_“Yes! Well,” Richie contemplated on saying he found two garbage cans, and that they weren’t anything near to garbage cans either. Before he could decide, Bill beat him to it. Just like Bill always does._

_“S-so? Who’s the lucky one?” Bill crossed his legs, pulling them to his chest in a warm smile, placing his coke can on the floor next to himself._

_Everything was right, Richie wouldn’t be alone anymore, he could find solace in one of his best friends, his Bill._

_The same Bill who fought Henry Bowers for him, even though Bill was 3 feet shorter at the time._

_The same Bill who told Richie things honestly yet was so gentle and kind with it that Richie felt like he was somehow lying._

_Richie could relax, Big Bill wouldn’t see him different for liking two dudes at once, it was actually quite fitting, Richie agreed confidently. Even his presence made him feel like everything was okay. Maybe, everything was._

_“I’m talkin’ about males, ya’ know,” Richie muttered out, twirling his fingers together nervously, peering over his own knees to look at Bill. He only found a smiling face, encouraging him to continue._

_“Sexy, what male?” Bill egged Richie on. This was it. This was why Richie and Bill were like those PB &J’s in third grade; so good together. _

_“Well I firstly, I like Stan and E-“”-Wait,” Bill interrupted Richie, who felt himself being jerked out of giddiness. What was it? He didn’t even get to tell him about Eddie._

_When he looked at Bill’s face, it was no longer smiling warmly, and his eyebrows were creased into confusion yet again._

_“Y-you like Stan?” Bill’s question was simple enough, yet complexity ran through the blue-eyed boy’s voice as if this whole thing wasn’t adding up. It knocked Richie off a step to confidence, but he tried to keep himself grounded._

_“Yeah, I-I like Stan,” Richie breathed out, trying to smile at Bill in hopes that Bill would connect the dots. The frown stayed upon Bill’s face, however. And then Bill said something that nearly halted Richie’s brain from functioning properly._

_“B-but I like Stan,” Bill’s voice wasn’t questionable, it came out defensive and cold. Richie felt his body numb and jolt to a stop, looking into Bill’s eyes hopelessly looking for a joke. Richie would’ve asked if Bill was pulling his leg if his bright blue eyes weren’t so icy looking._

_Fuck._

_Richie desperately tried to think of something to say but couldn’t settle on something good enough to make the awkwardness go away. So Bill said something instead. He was always good at speaking when others couldn’t._

_“Does Stan like you?” Bill asked straight forward, leaning in to hear Richie’s lame answer. Richie fixed his glasses, trying to find a reason to why that mattered at the moment._

_“I, uh, don’t know? Probably not,” Richie mumbled out, feeling like this conversation might have been a mistake. If only Richie knew how much a mistake it would be._

_“I’m not backing off,” Were the next brilliant words of their oh-so-selfless leader. Richie’s jaw went slack in pure amazement, amazed at how much of a dick Bill was being right now. Richie watched Bill sink into himself, refusing to make eye-contact with Richie. He grabbed his Coke can instead._

_“Are you fucking kidding?” Richie asked, half hoping this all was just a fucked-up game he was playing at. It wasn’t. Bill looked him in the eyes, before standing up to leave and return to the movie._

_“It’s not fair if I let you just have him. Stan gets to choose. What if he likes me?” Bill’s lowered voice seemed to impale Richie’s heart because for some reason it hurt. And with that, Bill left, a voiceless and shitty ‘Sorry’ in his eyes and he was gone._

_Only his words were present in Richie’s mind, and they wouldn’t go away for a while._

_“What if he likes me?” Bill’s voice repeated over and over again, even after he stumbled back into the dark room where the others still sat. Bill stared ahead, merely glancing his way as he entered before looking back solemnly at the screen. He was sitting next to Stan, just like before they’d left. Just now, Richie was hyper-aware of it, like Bill was now a predator or something._

_Miserable, he left early and biked home faster than ever before, even faster than the night Bev needed him after a particularly harsh fight with her dad. Because this wasn’t anger or fear driving him, this was sadness._

_Faster and faster, his legs went numb from adrenaline as he biked through the darkened streets. He could hear himself panting, his ears ringing from how hard the night wind was hitting his face._

_“What if he likes me?” Bill really got him there. Richie was fucked, truly. Because in a perfect world, Bill would’ve heard the rest and known Richie loves Eddie, too. He would’ve helped and known how to calm Richie’s insecurities down, tell him that those two pretty boys would love him the same. But this isn’t a perfect world, because Richie is nowhere near perfect. Bill is._

_WHAT IF HE LIKES ME, Richie wanted to scream at Bill’s voice, zooming past his house and down the street, not knowing where to go or if he even should be anywhere._

_The scariest part was that it was very much likely that Stan would like Bill instead. And for that reason alone, Bill would sweep Stan away with his regal charm and damned blue eyes that Richie was slowly learning to despise._

_The scenario replays for days, even when they meet up to go to Mike’s vacation house._

_“What if he likes me?” Bill mumbled out, Richie frozen in fear because that’s how these stories always go. Because Bill’s end up with Stan’s and Richie’s are destined to lose._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO IM SORRY THIS IS LATER THAN I EXPECTED BUT I TRIED  
> Thank you all for telling me your ideas and being sweet as hell  
> The polls are in and the winner is *DRUM ROLL* STREDDIE!  
> I liked the core four idea a lot, but I'll continue this as a Streddie Endgame


	7. My love, my Summer Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie comes to the rescue (and remembers that 1+1=2) to help Streddie's nighttime troubles. Stan remembers the night he first realized he liked Eddie. 
> 
> SLIGHT SMUT WARNING: Fantasy smut. 
> 
> SONG OF THE CHAPTER: For the First Time by Mac Demarco

Stan could think of a million reasons why he loved Richie. Lying awake at night, feeling the weight of Tozier on the same bed was enough to make his mind race and heart flutter. He could also think of a million reasons he loved Eddie, too. Richie had gotten out of the shower a good 20 minutes after Stan and Eddie complained that he was taking too long.

It was partly because they needed to brush their teeth and sleep, they were tired and all. But, Stan also wanted to spend time with both of them, all together. Stan pulled the blankets closer to his chin, thinking about how he dreaded having to sleep in the same room, sharing beds with Kaspbrak and Tozier.

He feared it, simply, because of the recent lack of decent thoughts. He was slowly going crazy, he was nearly drooling at the mouth anytime Eddie’s chocolate eyes turned to him or Richie’s dark orbs connected with his.

Stan wanted to deny it, but as much as he tried he couldn’t. He nearly foamed at the mouth whenever Eddie bent over, or Richie’s head tilted back. He was losing control, he was readying to pounce, and Stan didn’t like the idea. He hated it, in fact, since they’d probably loathe him forever and a day if he made any moves. That’s why he had turned to face Eddie when Richie waltz out of the bathroom in nothing but his boxers, wet raven hair falling into his face. Stan had turned so quickly, it must’ve looked like he was hiding something.

 And when he turned, he made direct eye contact with a quiet Eddie, who had also been yapping his head off until Richie walked in. They stared at each other, an inconspicuous emotion flooding Eddie’s eyes as they continued to gaze at one another.

Richie didn’t speak a word, thankfully, shutting the lights off, much to Eddie’s dismay. Stan wanted to tell Richie Eddie likes night-lights, even if it has to be a lamp or something, but the pit in Stan’s stomach distracted him from asking once he felt the blanket lift, cool air hitting his legs.

Richie was moving, trying to get comfortable, probably thinking Stan was asleep since he hadn’t seen him move away when coming out of the bathroom. Stan’s mouth was open, his eyes wide, still looking over at Eddie, who’s eyes stare through the darkness in a silent conversation.

Eddie was afraid of the dark, he either needed to sleep with someone or have the light turned on.

Stan knew this, due to all the times Eddie had to climb into bed with him when the Losers’ shut the lights. Stan knew Eddie was stilled in fear, fear of the darkness swallowing him. Stan knew this and turned to ask Richie to turn them back on. Eddie didn’t want that, however.

 “No!” Eddie whispered, causing Stan’s open mouth to not speak, quickly looking over at Eddie’s form. He made of the boy’s face well enough to see him shaking it.

“Don’t you need light?” Stan whispered to the smaller boy, knowing Richie would undoubtedly hear them anyway. He felt Richie shift a bit, but other than that, make no sound.

“He can’t sleep with light,” Eddie whispered back, shifting underneath his blankets uncomfortably. Stan’s heart felt like it was beating too fast because Eddie was afraid of the dark but refused to have it on because he wanted Richie to sleep well. That fact alone made Stan want to kiss Eddie, kind, thoughtful Eddie. Stan was sure Richie heard the Kaspbrak boy’s sacrifice but still, no sound left Richie’s form.

Stan blinked, before realizing the only other option to comfort Eddie was to sleep with him. Then sleep with him he shall. Stan moved his legs, lifting his end of the blanket, ignoring the soft gasp that left Eddie.

“Stan, you don’t have to,” Eddie nearly spoke, but Stan was now bending down to fix the blanket for Richie to stay warm. Richie rolled to his side to look up at Stan, their faces closer than Stan would’ve liked. Richie’s eyes searched his own, is breath against Stan’s chin and lips.

**_Kiss him._ **

But before the beast within him lurched forward to kiss the curly haired boy, Richie’s soft breath spoke.

“He needs the light to sleep?” Richie breathed out his question, looking deeper into Stan’s eyes. Stan also breathed out a weak, “Yes, or someone to sleep with,” and Richie’s eyes glistened with something he couldn’t place. Richie sat up, leaving Stan’s space to look over at Eddie. The Kaspbrak’s eyes were wide with worry.

“Richie, I’m sorry I woke you up, Stan just wanted to help out,” Eddie’s voice was soft but audible, sitting up as well. Stan watched Richie’s face break into a smile, before turning and jumping off the bed with a loud thump. Stan gasped, leaning down on his hands.

“Richie! Don’t be so loud,” Stan warned quietly, trying to hush the Tozier boy’s movements. They were on the second floor, knowing that Bill and Mike’s first-floor bedroom would’ve heard the noise easily.

Richie rounded around the bed, leaning on it as if he were to push it. Stan watched Richie smirk, something he had grown to secretly love. 

“But you know you like it when I’m loud, baby,” Richie winked, a joke that made Stan’s blood boil at the nickname, feeling his face getting hot. Stan won’t mind if Richie called him that again.

“Don’t be an ass,” Eddie sternly told Richie, rolling his eyes. Richie walked around to Stan, looking down at him in a strange way before grabbing his hand. Sparks flew through Stan’s body, as he was being led to Eddie’s bed.

“You are what you eat,” Richie chuckled playfully, but it made Stan want to jump out the window. He didn’t need to visualize Richie doing things like that, he already was trying his best not to think of it on his own than have Richie make him imagine it.

“Shut the fuck up, and what are you doing?” Eddie responded again, thankfully equipped with comebacks and sass. It was something Stan used to have the highest tier of but recently lacks due to his emotions.

He was becoming softer, less strict with what he accepts, and ultimately easier to mess with. Stan was realizing this whole ‘having crushes’ thing was starting to change him, and if he noticed it, it was just a matter of time before the others noticed it, too.

“Relax, I’m making it better,” Richie’s answer was vague and Stan didn’t like it, but he soon realized what Richie was doing and felt his jaw go slack.

Richie was pushing the two beds together, so they could all sleep together. So Richie could keep the light off while Eddie is coddled to sleep. Richie didn’t know it, but this changed the game. Stan was looking forward to sleeping in his own bed, not worrying about how cute the other boy’s looked asleep.

Now, all hell was breaking loose in the blonde boy’s mind, feeling the pit in his stomach deepen and heat up when Richie finally connected the beds as one. Stan wished that life was that easy, that the three of them could connect and be one relationship.

It was pathetically impossible, but Stan yearned for it anyhow. Stan felt himself smile at the bed’s, it looked like it was meant to be one big bed instead of two.

“Wow, Rich, you really didn’t want that light on, huh?” Stan spoke, smiling wider when Richie laughed, falling onto his side of the now huge bed. Eddie leaned against Stan, causing Stan’s smile to become small, looking down at Eddie’s hair.

“Thanks, Chee,” Eddie spoke gently, and Stan felt his heart soar.

This felt so right, all of them together. Stan knew it was a bad thing, he knew these moments would make him fall in love with the idea of them all together, just to be heartbroken that at the end of the day, they didn’t love him more than a brother.

Nonetheless, Stan wanted to take advantage of the vacation, he could at least let his heart dream about it silently.

Richie let out a satisfied noise, folding his arms behind his head, looking at the other two boys, who haven’t moved since he laid down.

“Well? You gonna sit there all night or what?” Richie joked, watching Stan roll his soft brown eyes, crawling back to lay down.

Eddie was hesitant, waiting for Stan to get settled. Stan hadn’t gone back to his spot in the middle of the two, he was now at the opposite side of Richie. Stan surely hadn’t let Eddie be in the middle because he hates the dark, had he?

 Stan lifted the blanket open for Eddie and looked up expectantly, and Eddie made his way into the space offered.  Of course, he had, he’s Stan. He thinks of everything.

Stan’s heart was racing, he felt like he had run a mile, and couldn’t breathe. Strange enough, Stan was falling in love with that feeling. Just like he feared he would, Stan was maybe on the brink of falling in love with the boys’ themselves.

This felt more intense than his quiet crushes in high school, the ones like the cute boy who always sat in the third row at Temple. Even a crazier feeling than when that ginger boy Richie had cleverly named ‘Carrot-Top’ would wink at him after Economics class.

Bill had been convinced that Stan only thought he was good looking because he and Beverly nearly shared the same hairstyle. Maybe it was true, he found comfort in his friends, they calmed him down. One could only imagine the day when certain friends start to make his nerves shake and palms sweat instead. The first one that started it, all this madness of self-realization, was none other than Eddie.

_It was a late July night  during their Senior year of High School, and ‘truth or dare’ had been the genius game they decided to play. All the losers sat in somewhat-of-a-circle on Mike’s barn floor. Their noise level was too crazy to stay in the house once Mike’s grandfather slept, and the barn was far enough no one would complain. Even with Richie howling the way he was currently._

_“I’ve never been kissed,” Stan replied confidently to Bill, who had asked if he had moments before. Stan tried keeping his posture, as he snuck looks at the others’ faces. No one seemed amused other than Richie, whose eyebrows were raised._

_“No way, Staniel, you’ve had to have gotten some lovin’ before,” Richie shot back as if Stan wasn’t being honest. He gave Richie a shrug, feeling a bit irritated that Richie didn’t believe him. It’s not that hard to see, Stan isn’t the sexiest guy around. At least he’s not in his own opinion._

_“Richie, quite it,” Beverly hushed, keeping an assertive tone through a soft voice. Stan appreciated her efforts but shook his head. She was trying to save him from embarrassment, but Stan wasn’t ashamed of anything._

_“It’s fine, Bev, I’m not bothered. My objective in life isn’t to swap spit,” Stan simply answered, crossing his legs like a pretzel before blinking slowly at Richie. Richie’s eyes glimmered, it was a tell that he was being earnest, Stan had learned. He wasn’t trying to be hurtful, so Stan let it slide._

_“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not making fun or anything,” Richie paused long enough for Stan’s brain to acknowledge how he thought right; Richie didn’t mean any harm. He’s just being a goof, per usual._

_“I knew you were a virgin and all, but really? Not even a peck?” Stan’s heart felt strange when he heard Richie announce that he knew Stan was_ _a virgin. It sorta pissed him off, in a weird way._

_“L-let it g-go, Richie,” Bill calmly stated, looking over at Stan wearily. Richie looked Stan in the eyes, for a moment Stan thought it was meant to be a staring contest._

_“How do you know I’m a virgin?” Stan countered, raising an eyebrow expectantly. Richie’s eyes fluttered, taken aback by Stan’s challenging concept. Stan felt bad for Richie sometimes, the kid always gave away his tells._

_Richie’s mouth dropped slightly, before looking at the wall to think. It made Stan’s mouth twitch to smile, for Richie was confused. Of course, no one could see him sweat though, so he tried to keep his poker face as Beverly laughed, clapping her hands to calm herself._

_“So… you don’t kiss while you fuck? That’s some emotionally-detached shit, Stan,” Beverly let out in an exasperated fit of laughter. Mike was also laughing, a hearty deep laugh that made Ben smile, too._

_Richie looked at the others, giggling at Richie’s defeat._

_“No way you fucked anyone, you have that virgin glow,” Richie mumbled out, slack-jawed and for some reason, pouty. Eddie squirmed in his own seat, across from Stan, playing with his fingers as he watched the others come down from their excitement._

_Stan nearly snorted. And by the looks on the other’s faces, he might have._

_“Virgin glow?” Was what left his mouth dumbly, looking at Eddie for his reaction. Eddie’s eyes were on him, staring intently at him. But, he wasn’t looking into his eyes, it was lower than that. Stan couldn’t place where. Maybe his neck?_

_“You look all, I don’t know,” Richie rubbed the back of his head, but Stan wasn’t looking to see that. Stan was curiously looking at Eddie, who seemed to be checking him out if Stan didn’t know any better. How Eddie hasn’t noticed Stan staring back at him was astonishing. Did Stan have something on his chin? He lifted a hand to brush his chin, causing Eddie’s eyes to shoot up to his own. Eddie seemed frozen in place after that._

_While Richie tried to describe what exactly a ‘virgin glow’ was, Stan mouthed out a “What?” to Eddie, who’s eyes fell to watch his mouth. Hm, it looked almost exact to what Eddie had looked like before. Stan’s eyes widened a bit, realizing Eddie must’ve been looking not at his chin nor his neck, but his mouth. Something stirred in his stomach, that he couldn’t place, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to._

_“Jeez, I suck at explaining shit. It’s not a bad thing, though. It means all angel-like, pure and stuff. I’m just surprised, is all,” Richie laughed in a strained manner._

_He then let out an obnoxious “You popped ‘ya cherry!”, slapping Stan on the back._

_The hit pulled Stan’s gaze off a hyper-focused Eddie, letting out a surprise exhale. He looked back to find Richie’s face less goofy than when he started the conversation. Stan furrowed his brows, trying to rub and sooth the place Richie had struck a bit too hard._  
  
“Richie, calm down, I was playing,” Stan’s own voice sounded strained and unlike his normal self, so he cleared his throat as Richie’s smile stretched.

_“So, you’re a virgin?” Richie asked, with a bit too much excitement, as if he were Stan’s religious mother, hoping her boy was a good one. Stan rolled his eyes, a spirited smile played on his lips._

_“Yes, Rich, I’m a virgin. Untainted and all, oh holy God, be proud,” Stan let out, as the others laughed at his lovely description. Stan looked over at Eddie, who was smiling at him in a manner that he always smiled, it was sweet and genuine. But this time, it made Stan’s heart feel light. Richie threw an arm over Stan’s shoulder, pulling him closer in a position that looked close to a choke-hold, squishing Stan’s cheek with his other hand._

_“Awe, I knew it, you are a virgin. Our sweet, Jewish, baby boy,” Richie mocked Stan in a voice he’s heard his parent’s use to his 1-year-old cousin, and sometimes dogs. Stan began to chuckle, trying to fight his way out of Richie’s hold._

_“Okay, okay! Release me or else!” Stan’s words packed no heat, for he had screamed them through a fit of laughter. Richie had started to tickle him, like the coward he was. The others began to tickle one another as well, Stan looking over at a giggling Eddie as Mike’s gentle fingers wormed their way into Eddie’s torso._

**_He looks beautiful_ ** _, Stan thought, and as it crossed his mind, his heart felt like it had dropped. What the hell was that? Eddie has his cheeks red, from giggling too much, and his shirt ridden up to his ribs for Mike to tickle further. His legs were wide and kicking but doing nobody harm._

_Stan suddenly felt adrenaline pump through his veins, pushing out of Richie’s grip, a smile nowhere to be found on his face. Realization hit Stan, looking at Eddie’s blotchy-pink face, gasping for breath, eyes rolling to the back of his head in laughter…_

_Stan felt something within him break, he felt as though he’d snapped. He felt like his ears were deaf, but he could hear everything all at the same time. Stan was breathing heavily, but he wasn’t too sure it was from Richie’s tickling. His ears were ringing, Stan’s eyes were the widest that they’ve ever been, he can’t remember ever seeing this clear before._

_Mike gave it a rest, as did everyone else, rolling around in small laughs and huffing breaths. Eddie’s body had gone limp, his tan legs spread open in a lude manner he’d never seen in Eddie before. Eddie’s chest rose and fell, trying to catch his own breath. The ghost of a smile was on his mouth, and Stan wanted to kiss it. An overpowering feeling made Stan’s body suddenly move from his spot next to a breathless Richie. He went on all fours, even though his knees rubbed against the floor of the barn, he didn’t care._

_He inched closer to Eddie, not stopping until, he realized, was bashfully close to Eddie’s face. Stan’s face hovered right above Eddie’s, his hands stably holding him up a few inches. Although, Stan now thinks that he wasn’t far enough, that this distance was still too close since Stan felt Eddie’s heaving breath tickle his neck and chin._

_Eddie’s eyes opened, unchanging his expression from moments ago. If anything, his smile got more noticeable. Stan felt the need to explain but couldn’t really tell Eddie that he made his way over here in the unplanned instinct to kiss him. So instead of speaking, Stan stayed radio silent. It seemed like the only option, really. Eddie didn’t seem to mind._

_“Hello,” Eddie said in an adorable manner._

_Adorable? That’s a new word. Stan would only ever refer to beings like Georgie and animals as adorable, not one of his best friends. Never, it was impossible._

_But it wasn’t, it seemed, as Eddie’s wide brown eyes blinked up at Stan in the way they always did, but Stan felt an odd pleasure run through his veins this time. Impossible, yet it was happening right before his eyes._

_“Hi,” Stan breathed out, low and insecure, unlike how he usually was. Eddie took note but thought it was worry._

_“I’m okay, Stan. No need for my inhaler,” Eddie smiled up into Stan’s eyes, and it made Stan want to throw up. Not because he was disgusted or anything, Eddie was very much pretty. It was because of that same fact, how pretty Eddie looked to him currently wasn’t normal and it sure as hell scared Stan. He swallowed nothing, feeling something rise inside of him, a similar feeling to when he needed to read the Torah at his bar mitzvah._

_It was some kind of fear, yet excitement all at once. He was afraid to mess up his readings that day, but he was also thrilled to finally reach the beginning of his Jewish manhood. Just like that feeling, Stan was frightened by Eddie’s recently noticeable attractiveness, but also had an eagerness he’s never truly had before._

_Eddie had gotten up to sit back on his bottom, which Stan tried his hardest not to look at._

**_The curve makes me wanna be in between._ **

_Eddie was looking at him casually, as Stan also let himself fall on his ass. The others were already firing up another conversation, Stan caught a few words that implied they were having a heated discussion about which lunch food was better: Chicken tenders or Taco Tuesdays._

_“Also, don’t worry Stan,” Eddie called over to him, yanking Stan into reality once again._

_Worry about what? That he was having an extensional crisis and his friends thought it’d be okay to talk about shitty cafeteria food?_

_Stan became very self-aware then, pulling his knees into his chest and holding his legs so hard he’d thought his arms were a python choking his prey._

_“I’ve never kissed anyone either,” Eddie admitted lowly, leaning closer so no one else would hear. Eddie was blushing if Stan knew any better, and it caused Stan’s face to heat up as well._

_“Um, thanks, Eddie,” Stan whispered, but Eddie continued._

_“It’s not that I’m afraid to kiss anyone, ya know?” Eddie explained as he looked out at the other losers, pulling one leg up to rest his arm against. Stan’s eyes regretfully glanced down between Eddie’s opened legs, before replying with an uncertain ‘Uh-uh,’. What was he, a horny mad-man? What in God’s name changed in the last five minutes for him to be this way? Stan met Eddie’s thoughtful gaze, as Eddie sustained._

_“I’ll ruin you, make you fall on your knees to beg for more,” Eddie lowly simmered out, his eyes lidded as he leaned closer to Stan. Stan’s heart felt like it was trying to escape his ribcage, as his eyes widened and palms sweated._

**_WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE-_ **

_“Eddie, w-what?” Stan was breathless all the sudden, there was no way Eddie was serious. He was correct. Eddie let out a giggle before rolling his eyes, leaning back on his leg. Did Stan miss something?_

_“That’s how’d I be, you know? Not afraid, ready to pounce,” Eddie joking make claws at Stan, and Stan tried his best not to sound nervous when a laugh slipped his lips._

_“The only thing is, I’m not a top, so I would be on my knees instead, really,” Eddie sighed out, casual as the Weatherman said there’d be sunny skies. Stan choked on air, opening his mouth, but said nothing. He was beginning to get used to not being able to have a retort. Eddie lifted a thick brow and leaned back on his hands._

_“Shut up, Stan, I don’t exactly look like a Top, do I?” The question was rhetorical, and Stan knew it. Eddie looked back calmly at the group. Stan stared at Eddie, his knees would’ve given out if he were standing. It didn’t stop him from answering the question, though._

_“No, you don’t. You look like a…” Stan felt the words come out dry, and dirty. He betrayed himself, letting the idea of Eddie taking it filled his mind in dread. He couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence, the word he is looking for was in bold right in front of him._

_He knew exactly the right terms, thanks to a gross lecture from Richie at lunch one time. But it wasn’t gross, suddenly. The words made him unable to sit still, make a heat spread through his chest. Stan was as red as he’s ever been._

_Eddie scoffed out, amused at Stan’s loss for words, before saying, “I’m a Bottom. I take it, deep and hard,” Eddie laughed out, playfully hitting Stan’s arm as if he hadn’t just confessed his preference in bed. The words sent pleasure straight to Stan’s southern region, making his dick twitch. Stan felt his legs come closer to his chest, in fear Eddie would see._

_However, Eddie looked back at the losers, spotting a fuming Mike explain that “the school’s chicken sucked, and Tacos were supreme”. Bill didn’t seem like he was buying it, arms crossed, defiantly. It made Eddie smile, before standing up to put his own two sense in._

_“Taco’s are so much better than the chicken. Their chicken tastes like rubber, Bill!” Stan watched as Eddie left him alone, unable to even think about the school’s lunch._

_Stan was stuck in his seat replaying a certain scenario in his head, one of Eddie being tickled, red in the face and legs spread. But, now he wasn’t being tickled, he was being fucked. And it wasn’t Mike that was towering above Eddie, gripped his slim torso, it was Stan himself.  And Stan’s imagination didn’t stop there, oh no, it was only the beginning._

Stan learned three things that night.

One, he liked Eddie more than just a friend.

Two, no one could ever know that he liked Eddie that way.

And three, Eddie would look _so_ good riding Stan.


	8. The Beginning of the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan wakes up first, leaving Reddie to wake up to each other.
> 
> SONG OF THE CHAPTER: Où va le monde by La Femme

 A blur of light and a birds’ song was what woke Stan up. He stretched his legs, feeling some bones crack from his position. His eyes focused as he tried to open them fully. When he could see clearly, he saw a beautiful sunlight peering through the window, casting a pretty shade of colored light since the sheer curtains were a muted baby blue.

 He rested his head back down for a moment, so his muscles could relax before he had to get up. He stared up at the ceiling, a clean white color that made the room look awake and ready for the day. It was a dreary, ugly white. It made Stan think of doves, and how perfect their white feathers were. He wonders how something could be so clean, sleek, and beautiful like doves always were.

 He let out a content sigh, raising his arms to rest above his head. When doing this, he heard a sleepy groan being droned out and felt the bed shift. And just like that, Richie’s head was nuzzled close to Stan’s chest somehow, even with his leg thrown over Eddie’s body. The movement made Stan freeze in fear of waking either of the boys and being reminded of Eddie, he peered down to see a balled-up Eddie against his torso, hugging himself with most of the blankets on. He looked so small in-between Richie and Stan.

**_He must be cold._ **

Stan couldn’t help but think about how Eddie should be cuddling with Richie instead of himself since the Tozier boy was a human heater most of the time. Stan was always cold, even if he didn’t feel cold, his skin just  _was_.

Stan felt like it was another reason why he should be alone forever. His temperature kept him cool in the summer but made it hard to adjust the most to heat. It was like God created him purposely this way, not an eligible bachelor anyone would want to embrace when needing warmth. He would only make them colder. Stan began to think he was cursed.

He rolled his eyes at himself, feeling defeated at his own diagnosis, and decided it was time to rise with the sun. He felt himself smile as he did so, Richie’s face rested against him even when Stan sat up. This kid could sleep through anything, even World War 3, bombs dropping everywhere. He placed his hand at the back of Tozier’s head, making sure to remove his body from his hold. He felt his smile widen slightly at the sweatiness of Richie’s curls.

 When he was done scooting away from his previous sleeping spot, he slowly lowered Richie’s head back onto the pillow below. Eddie didn’t cling to him that much, so moving away was easy enough. He didn’t even try to fix the covers back over Richie since he overheats when he sleeps anyway.

Stan went on all fours, walking backward off the bed before his long leg stretched down to reach for the floor. He lightly pushed off the bed to stand, and he slowly went to his tippy toes, raising his arms to reach above him. His eyes fell to see the scene played out in front of him.

 He almost laughed, looking at the two boys on the bed. Richie’s right leg was bent up as he laid on his stomach, the other leg laying straight out. His arms were bent to be on each side of the black-haired boys’ head, his pale skin milky and glowing in the sunshine. His mouth was open, and his hair looked absolutely insane. Stan thought he looked beautiful. He really did, so vulnerable and soft, yet boyish.

Stan believed that boys were just as soft looking as girls, it was just a different type of softness Stan couldn’t explain. Richie’s arm was sprawled out but wasn’t close enough to touch Eddie’s form, all small and bunched up in the blankets. The only parts of Eddie that Stan could see visible was starting from his curved, little nose all the way to his bouncy, brown hair that rested across the pillows in a similar way Stan’s seen his mothers’ scarves folded over her reading chair.

 His skin was much tanner than Richie’s, especially in Summertime. Stan got tan enough, but Eddie’s olive skin was smooth and glowing in a different way Richie’s pale skin did. Richie looked as if he was illuminated, like a light reflecting the sun’s rays, almost like it rejected them. Eddie’s skin, however, glowed in a way that looked as though the sun fueled him like his skin was powered by the sun itself and shined darker after a swim in the quarry or a walk in the park. They were equally as lovely, but lovely for separate reasons.

Stan shouldn’t be standing there like a creep, studying the way Eddie’s eyebrows twitch every now and then from dreaming, or how Richie’s back rises and lowers with soft breaths and quiet snores. Stan should go take a shower and get ready for their first day of vacation.

“Right,” Stan whispered to himself, his own voice rough and sleepy. He made his way to the shower, and once inside, kept thinking of the two boys sleeping just a door away.

Stan wondered how they could look so peaceful sleeping, surely, they knew how attractive they were already. They didn’t need him to spectate and observe their beauty. There had to be people who already do, there already has been. Eddie always got hit on by this airhead Soccer player with pretty, blue eyes whenever he and Eddie went to study for their Arithmetic’s class last semester.

Mike had a hypothesis that Eddie found comfort in Soccer boy’s eyes since they were a similar color to Bill’s and everyone knew comfort brought security. Stan knew Eddie was gay from a very eventful night during the beginning of high school, where Eddie cried his heart out to the Losers, in fear of his mother not being able to love him if he ever told her. He never did tell her, but Stan has a sense that Sonia already knows. She _is_ the one that buys him all those short-shorts. She doesn’t seem to treat him different though, maybe she isn’t as bad as Stan thought.

 Whenever the bimbo came to talk to Eddie, Stan tried to give Eddie the benefit of the doubt and strained his eyes to stare at numbers that made no sense. But he couldn’t focus on anything except the way Eddie’s voice raised an octave talking to “Mr. Kick-and-Cleats” and giggle in a way that Stan rarely heard. When Stan would look up from his book, Eddie’s face would be red, even when the jock walked away.

Eddie would avoid Stan’s eyes, even when he knew they were there and staring. “Shut up, Stan,” was all Stan would receive and he would only see Eddie’s eyes glaring at the textbook, holding each side of the book. Stan thought the book would rip in half. It made Stan’s stomach drop; seeing Eddie get all flustered and  _submissive_  around the Soccer player irritated Stan in a manner that he shouldn’t be. Eddie wasn’t his. Eddie will never be his.

Eddie was even cat-called a few times while Stan walked with him. Stan would watch how Eddie reacted, and sometimes Eddie would flip the men off, much to Stan’s delight. But, other times, Eddie would allow the crude comments to slide.

“You got one hell of an ass, baby,” A brunette skater boy hollered at Eddie once, sunglasses lazily rested on his head and a cigarette in between his fingers. They were walking to get lunch off campus, needing to pass by the park area. The boy vaguely reminded Stan of a Walmart-Richie, he had no style, but he lacked the Tozier charm. Instead of a heartwarming, forgivable dick, this kid was just a plain dick.

Stan glared out at the boy, who was uninteresting, in his opinion. He lacked taste and effort. The only thing he got right was that Eddie’s ass was nice. Stan waited for Eddie to retort with a roast or scoff. However, the Kaspbrak boy said nothing, kept walking, and when Stan leaned forward to look wore a smile.

“Excuse me, pretty, I’m talking to you!” The boy called out again, his asshole friends chuckling along with him. Eddie shook his head at the boy, looking over his shoulder coyly before looking forward again. Stan couldn’t have been more displeased.

“Shove it up your ass, fuckface,” Stan knew that the words that left his mouth were harsh, but Stan wasn’t feeling any regret about saying it. He had thrown a middle finger to the group of boys behind them, earning hoots and whistles as he did so. He only regretted it when Eddie gave him a look.

“Maybe another time,” The dumbass shouted back. Stan laughed back coldly, replying with a louder “As if!” before Eddie’s voice pulled him back. He realized that they were about to around the corner, towards the stores. Relief flooded him for a moment before Eddie’s words reached his ears.

“Stan! What the fuck was that for?” Eddie whispered harshly. Stan’s face screwed up into a confused look, surprised at how Eddie was speaking to him. It was like he had been hit, sudden and hard. He usually heard this tone when Eddie didn’t like what Richie was saying or when Bill would suck Cheeto dust off his own fingers.

 _Distaste_  was what that tone was as if Stan had stopped a wedding between long-time lovers and not a trashy flirting attempt. Stan felt the emotion rise within him, jealousy. Stan may have honey brown eyes, but in that instant, they were a burning green.

“You like when guys talk to you like that?” Stan tried to choose his words carefully, though his tone probably sounded sour. Eddie was a bomb and could go off at any moment.

“I don’t get a wide variety of men now, do I?” Eddie huffed out, holding is bag straps tighter, reminding Stan that Eddie didn’t know Stan liked boys, and even if he knew, wouldn’t like Stan anyway. Gay men weren’t always open and catcalling, Stan supposed. They knew enough other homosexuals on campus, but the fateful night Stan realized he wanted Eddie to be his, Eddie revealed he was a bottom. Eddie was particular about his preference, Stan could understand. However, Stan didn’t want Eddie to mistake rudeness for assertiveness.

“You can do so much better, you’re like a god compared to that loser,” Stan remembers saying it so vividly, because Eddie had laughed not long after he said it, and Stan can almost hear the glorious sound in his ears if he thinks hard enough. Eddie had gotten sexier than his usual cute-as-a-button self. Richie’s “glow-up”, as Bev called it, was a bit more shocking than Eddie’s.

Richie had gotten cuter throughout his teenage years, unlike Eddie who’s always had a kind beauty to him. He grew into his front teeth and mouth, and his body wasn’t all bones as it was in middle school. Richie didn’t change himself, really. His hair was still a mess of dark curls, his clothes were still questionable, and his jokes were still perverted and lame. But Richie was always funny and caring, so when push comes to shove and Richie went from boy to man, people were taken aback. When he came back from summer camp to start their Senior year of High School, everything changed.

Beverly wouldn’t roll her eyes anymore when he laughed out sexual jokes, she averted her eyes and grew a timid pink. When he passed by Henry Bowers, Henry would mind his business since Tozier towered over the blonde bully by a whole head. Henry didn’t dare mess with any of them if Richie was around. Gretta Keene stopped bullying Beverly, and instead tried to suck up in exchange for Tozier’s number. Bev, being the strong-headed girl she was, laughed right in Gretta’s face at the request. Stan was proud because he would’ve laughed as well. But, Stan was the first person to find out Richie’s bisexuality.

It was accidental, but when asked by a teacher to fetch an extra Biology textbook from the storage room, he caught Richie under the basement steps feverishly making out with a boy Stan recognized from their lunch period. Stan had been quiet enough, not purposely but naturally, that when walking down the stairway, he had gone unheard. He went into the closet down the abandoned hall that was solely used to keep books and papers and found the book requested by his teacher. When walking back, he had heard sneakers squeaking and noises that he never really heard in person before.

When stepping closer, he had seen Richie shoved against the wall in the shadows beneath the stairs, legs spread with a boy between them. Richie’s face was connected to the others and Stan’s brain halted him from moving, trying to understand the situation at hand. He heard the sound of their kisses before he realized what was actually happening. Stan’s grip on the book tightened when the boy pulled back from their lip-locking with a lude ‘pop’. He then attacked Richie’s neck, starting from his lower jaw and working his way down. Richie’s head dropped back and onto the wall and that’s when Stan saw his face. His mouth was dropped open, face screwed up in pleasure as he released moans. Richie’s eyes were shut, but not for long, and when they opened, they were on Stan.

Stan’s face was no doubt showing his shock, eyes wide and mouth open. Richie’s face then changed to a state of disbelief. The thing was, that Richie didn’t push the boy off him, and when the boy sucked a certain spot, Richie let out a strained moan while looking at Stan, as if he tried to withhold it from being voiced but couldn’t. That’s when Stan bolted before he could realize, his brain moved him up the stairs quicker than he’s ever ran. He ran so fast, that when he reached the classroom, he skidded and slammed into the door due to the lack of slowing down.

Richie never mentioned the interaction to Stan, they never spoke about it. Like many things that Stan’s seen and heard, Eddie and Richie kept him locked out and never talked it out with Stan. Stan tried to think it was from being embarrassed, but darker thoughts told him that Stan just wasn’t w0orthy of keeping their secrets. He tried to forget about the past and wash away the thoughts with his shampoo.

When fully dressed and ready for the day, Stan walked out of the shower to find the two boys still dead asleep. Stan figured as much since Stan was always an early bird and rose up with the sun unwillingly. However, Eddie was hidden in Richie’s arms, he seems to have been captured under Richie’s hold. It made Stan’s heart flutter like it always did in times like these. Inevitably, Stan allowed his heart to break him into a grin. The grin lasted all but five seconds before Stan calmed himself to quietly make his way out of the room, slowly creaking the door shut behind him. 

Stan wishes he could take a picture of the two, looking so warm and affectionate. Though scenarios of him being caught with the picture on his phone and the never-ending questions from the Losers made him give up on the idea. He carefully walked down the stairs and into the living room. The sunlight lit it up just as beautifully as his room. God, the house was so pretty.

“H-how are you always so p-perfect?” A voice probed lightheartedly, making Stan jump and grip the railing of the stairs. Stan thought he’d be the first one awake and walking around. He was wrong. He looked over to see that Mike and Bill were already awake, yet still dressed in their nightwear. Stan let his posture relax as he let out a breathy laugh.

“You scared me, God, Bill,” He let out before walking towards them.

“And perfect? What do you mean?” Stan wanted to tell Bill he was anything but perfect, no matter how hard he tried.

 As he got closer, he realized Mike was taking out food, the eggs and butter were on the kitchen counter next to a bowl. Stan thought it was very kind of Mike to make them breakfast. Bill leaned onto the counter, to get closer to Stan, who had taken a seat on the opposite side of the marble aisle.

“Awake, sh-showered, dressed; You’re always ready,” Bill explained, smirking at the blonde boy. Stan’s eyebrow rose, leaning towards Bill as well.

“I like to be prepared for anything,” Stan said, smiling at Bill’s idea of perfect. Mike turned to look at Stan, before taking an egg out of the carton.

“Well, are you prepared for my awesome breakfast?” Mike said, his bright smile undeniably contagious, causing Stan to smile back.

“Especially prepared,” He laughed back, unaware of Bill watching the way Stan’s eyes scrunched up and dimples showed while amused. Bill quickly looked towards Mike to watch him crack an egg open against the bowl. Stan swiveled slightly in his chair, watching Mike crack open another three eggs. By the time he picked up his fourth, Stan spoke up.

“So, what are we doing today?”  Stan questioned, propping his elbows up onto the counter and resting his chin in the palm of his hand. Mike was focusing hard on not getting any egg shells into the bowl, intensely holding onto the shell so the insides could fall smoothly.

“Well, we should check out the town. It’s always fun to go out with my Uncle, so I bet it’ll be ten times better with all you guys,” Mike offered, smiling up at Stan as he discarded the empty shell into the trash can. Bill hummed, agreeing with Mike. But there was something cold that rushed through Stan.

A fear that this town they were in was an illusion just because the house was pretty. Stan was afraid that the minute they got into town, all hell would break loose like it usually does back at home.

Stan wondered how the town would be like, mindlessly biting his lip in fear that this town would be similar to Derry. He felt a hand momentarily touch his arm, before he looked to see Bill’s hand dropping back down the counter.

“You’ll h-hurt yourself, b-biting like that,” Bill worried, but there was a sense of hope hidden in those blue eyes. It slightly calmed his nerves, making Stan remember that they weren’t going out on the town in Derry.

It was a new town, with different street names and people. They wouldn’t have to keep a lookout for Belch’s broken-down car when all they wanted was to see a goddamn movie. Stan felt memories flood back, causing his leg to begin bouncing up and down.

 Stan could close his eyes and see the way Patrick stared Richie down like meat, a stretched grin that had all the wrong intentions. If Stan hadn’t pushed Patrick’s arm off the railing, Patrick wouldn’t be on the ground holding his mouth, that had hit the railing on his way down. And Stan wouldn’t have had enough time to grab Richie’s arm and run out of there. But Stan did push Patrick’s arm, and Richie was safe again.

He could see the way Henry had cornered Bev one day when she wore a dress to school, as if it was an invitation to try to lift it up, off her body. Stan remembered how he had noticed Henry was alone and pelted a rock from the ground directly at the back of his mullet head. Stan had never seen Beverly cry the way she did on the walk home with Stan, clinging to him like if she let go, something would get her. She was safe, cuddled inside his cardigan that he still wore, smushed against his torso and chest.

Anger ran through Stan’s blood, but it was also fear. The fear he only ever knew when being in Derry.

A hand came up to Stan’s face, particularly his mouth, and tapped the area by his lips and chin softly. Stan was pulled out of the dark memories to see a smiling Bill Denbrough, shaking his head.

“I s-said stop biting!” Bill’s voice was soft and quiet, but he brought Stan back to reality, a silent look on his face that made Stan feel like he was alright, and that the group would be okay.

Stan was worrying for no reason.

 But, then again, there was a never-ending list of reasons as to why he should be anxious.

“I’m just nervous, is all. To go out and everything, like we do in Derry? What if it’s the same?”

The second he voiced his thoughts, Mike’s hand slowed down from beating the eggs to look up at Stan and Bill’s body tensed momentarily. Stan stared at Mike, who glanced over at Bill, placing the bowl down softly.

Bill looked back at the dark boy, pursing his lips in the same way Bill did when Georgie asked why Simba’s dad from The Lion King had to die. There was no reason, just a sorrowful action. This was the same.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have spoiled our first day bringing up shitty events,” Stan was sinking into himself, worried he ruined the fun of Mike and Bill’s vacation.

“Stan, you didn’t spoil anything. It’s natural to think that way, since it happens to us back home so often,” Mike smiled solemnly, trying to sooth his own concern. Bill stood silent, his lip as tight as could be.

“My Uncle and I, we’ve been around a lot last summer. Everyone we came across smiled or just didn’t notice us. Freeport is a good place, this is a nice town. No one is gonna stop us or anything,” Mike’s smile was more reassuring, which calmed Stan down more than before.

“Thanks Mike, I didn’t want to bring your mood down, just was a bit nervous, is all,” Stan smiled apologetically, his voice smaller than before. Stan looked down at the counter, trying to think of anything that would make the pit in his stomach lighten up.

“We’re all t-together, Stan. We’ll be alright,” Bill reassured him, placing a warm hand on his shoulder lightly, as if Stan would get hurt if he did it any harder. Stan looked up from the spot he’d been mindlessly staring at, and into Bill Denbrough’s big, blue eyes.

They were blue like the ocean Stan has dreamt of seeing, but only saw in movies. Compassionate is a word Stan would describe Bill with. It’s a word that could describe any of his friends, they were always understanding and kind about everything Stan did wrong.

Stan would be kidding himself if he said he’s never messed up in front of the Losers. They forgive Stan quicker than any other, for it is rare for Stan to make a mistake.

However, recently, Stan hasn’t been as calculated with his steps as he’s always been. When he first started to lose his balance, it was late in High School, and it was all Eddie’s fault. But, it wasn’t too hard to handle.

Stan was a very good liar. Something Rabbi Uris would call wrongful sin. Stan pushed through the tough times, though, talking his way out of things confidently.

 

 But when Richie came into the picture, it tipped him over, unable to handle hiding two crushes at once. He tried his very best, but Stan feared sooner or later he’d be forced out of the hiding that he’s kept up for almost two years now.

Stan gave Bill a thankful nod, before intertwining his own hands together, leaning on his elbows once more. He looked over at supportive Mike, who waited for Stan to speak again.

“So, Mike, how killer is this breakfast _really_ gonna be?” Stan challenged, narrowing his eyes before smirking at the taller boy. Mike’s eyes lite up, beaming at Stan, before taking hold of the bowl once again.

“Oh, you better have prepared your taste buds, Uris,” Mike laughed out.

While Bill and Stan watched Mike make breakfast, something was stirring Eddie from his sleep. Eddie hummed sleepily, slowly recognizing that it was morning. He saw light in blurred vision, as he stretched his legs and shot his arms up.

 As he reached up into his stretch, his balled fist hit into something above his head. The yelp of pain woke him up fully, as he tiredly shot upright to look behind him. He saw a groaning Richie, cupping his nose.

“Oh, Geez, Rich! I didn’t see you there!” Eddie apologized too loud for morning talk, going onto his knees to inch towards a hurt Richie.  Richie pushed himself up to rest against the bedframe and pillows, squinting his eyes from pain.

“Damn, Ed’s, you really pack a punch, huh?” Richie’s voice was rough and raspy from sleep, but humor played around his tone like a child in a park. Eddie rolled his eyes, sitting on his legs.

He let a smile slip, as he made eye-contact with the curly-haired boy. Richie dropped his pale hand from his face, and Eddie really took the moment to admire how Richie looked.

 His hair was everywhere, and the side of his face was pinkish-red from being slept on too long. He was still not wearing a shirt, and Eddie wanted to see if his skin was as smooth as he remembers it was last night. Quickly tearing his gaze from Richie’s collarbones, he ran a hand through his own hair. Maybe touching Richie’s skin wasn’t a good idea.

“You still look cute when ‘ya wake up,” Richie mumbled, flashing him a stupid grin before bending his arms like a chicken. Then he proceeded to stretch them out on each side of his body, nearly yelling out a yawn.

Eddie flinched at the loudness of the sound but took the opportunity to flicker his eyes down Richie’s body, all the way to his happy trail.

“Jesus, Ed’s,” Richie bounced up onto his knees, getting close to Eddie all too fast. He grabbed Eddie in a headlock, messing his hair up worse than it already was with his free hand. Eddie squealed, fighting against Richie’s exposed torso.

“Richie!” Eddie hollered, surely waking up the rest of the goddamn house. He dug his hand into Richie’s side, which resulted in him being released. Richie’s laughter was deep and echoing through Eddie’s chest. Eddie, who was pink in the face, tried his best to fix himself as Richie winked at him.

“It feels like a good day, Eddie. Whatdya think?” Richie fell back down on his back, rubbing his face with both hands. Eddie thought about how this was his first vacation without his mother, and how he hoped desperately for Richie to be right.

“I hope,” Eddie whispered, but Richie heard and opened his eyes to squint up at Eddie. He hoped today would go perfect, he hoped everyday of his trip would. The trip sounded very promising, him being able to get alone time with Richie and Stan.

Then, almost as if he lost his child in a department store, Eddie’s heart jolted at the thought of Stan. He wasn’t here when Eddie got up.

Eddie must’ve looked panicked, because Richie leaned up on his arm and laid sideways, furrowing his brows.

“What’s wrong, Ed’s?” Eddie calmed himself, remembering Stan always got up early. And Eddie didn’t hear a shower running, which meant he was probably downstairs.

By the time Eddie looked back at Richie, he had his glasses on, and was closer than before. Eddie gulped down shame, as he realized Richie would think Eddie was dumb for getting nervous Stan wasn’t there when he woke up.

“Nothing, I just realized that Stan was gone is all,” Eddie tried to sound casual about it, like he didn’t just have a half-awake heart-attack. Richie’s face softened, and he gave Eddie a wide grin that made Eddie want to scream into a pillow, because he was too cute.

“Aw, Eddie! You didn’t notice Stanny was gone?” Richie began to baby-talk him, grabbing his cheek.

  
“Poor, baby, Eddie,” Richie cooed, pouting his lips before attempting to cuddle Eddie. Eddie just snorted and pushed Richie by his chest, trying not to let himself flush from the skin-on-skin contact.

“Go fix your bedhead, asshat,” Eddie mumbled, before slipping off the bed and walking towards the bathroom to brush his teeth.

**_Fix your hair because it looks like sex-hair and I can only take so much this early in the morning._ **

“Hey, Eddie?” Richie’s voice seemed to be cured of that tired-croak Eddie found so sexy, which made the following conversation a bit easier to have.

Eddie hummed in response, a toothbrush working its magic in his mouth.

Richie was quiet for a while, as if waiting to ask Eddie when he was finished brushing his teeth. But Richie wasn’t waiting, necessarily, he was contemplating on whether he should continue.

Eddie spit the last of his morning routine down the drain, before turning to look at Richie through the open bathroom door. The pale boy was sitting on the bed, his legs crisscrossed, hugging a pillow in thought.

“What is it?” Eddie asked, leaning up against the door-frame with a hand on his hip.

Richie’s eyes quickly looked up from the pillow and into Eddie’s coffee brown eyes.

“This sounds, well, fucking weird, but, um,” Richie cleared his throat, causing a tension to settle through Eddie, who’s arm dropped to his side in anticipation.

“Did the boxers Stan give to you smell like him?”

The question hung in the air for too long, neither of them brave enough to make a sound. Eddie’s eyes were wide, and maybe his face was flushed at the very fact that, yes, they had. But, why had Richie asked that? Why did he care? Did he want to smell them himself? Surely, they didn’t smell like Stan anymore, not after Eddie wore them.

“It sounds perverted, now that I think about it, holy shit,” Richie awkwardly chuckled out, before clearing his throat again, smiling dropping at the sight of Eddie’s reaction.

“I, w-what I meant was, the scent of Stan himself. Like soap, cologne, stuff like that. Not his..” Richie trailed off, shaking his head. Eddie felt his heart quicken, confused at why Richie was so embarrassed. Was that the right word?

“Not his fucking dick, Eddie. Sheesh,” Richie breathed out, running a nervous hand through his untamed hair. Eddie snapped out of his silence, feeling the need to drink water, for his throat had gone dry.

“I knew that, asshole,” Eddie glared at Richie, but there was no heat, it was a weak glare that Richie saw through, almost as if he was holding his breath, waiting for Eddie to continue talking.

“Well, it doesn’t sound like you know what I’m talking about. You’re acting like I’m a panty collector or something’,” Richie grumbled out, dissatisfied with the conversation in general. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked Eddie.

 Eddie recognized discomfort in Richie’s expression, and began to walk closer until he sat next to the tall boy. He looked over to see Richie staring at him, a frown evident on his freckled face. Eddie supposed Richie still wanted an answer. A non-judgmental, earnest one.

So, that’s what Eddie gave him.

“It did.” Eddie admitted reluctantly.

Richie quirked a brow, as if he hadn’t asked Eddie a question. Eddie felt his face get hot again, having to repeat himself and even worse, be less vague in his explanation.

“The boxers smelled like Stan,” Eddie said again, his fists clenched in the blankets to his sides, as he tried to focus on kicking his legs. He needed a distraction from the heat that was spreading rapidly through his body, and strangely radiating from Richie as well.

Richie, who was shocked Eddie had even complied to answering his creepy question, felt his cheeks grow warm.

“That’s pretty gay to say, Ed’s,” Was all Richie said to Eddie after that, and when Eddie incredulously looked over at the curly haired boy, Richie’s face was screwed up in a harmless grin.

“You’re so fucking annoying,” Eddie growled, jumping onto Richie, playfighting with him until Eddie decided it was time he jumped into the shower.

 Eddie thought about the fact that Richie was curious about the scent of the underwear. He thought about the way Stan smelled, how pretty the scent played on his senses, but still something so boyish about it.

Eddie also thought about how Richie’s hair kind of smelled like Stan, too. It smelled like Richie, but with an essence of Stan mixed in. Maybe Richie used Stan’s shampoo. And maybe Eddie was about to use it, too.

Stan’s scent drove him up a wall. Richie’s smell made him crazy.

The two combined must be God’s way of testing his patience. Because Eddie was very close to blowing his cover, popping his top, and pulling the two boys into their shared room, locking the door until all his tension was released.

 He could almost feel Richie’s plump lips on his own, and Stan’s lips kissing quiet whispers into his neck. Two sets of hands wondering his body, soft and rough, pulling sounds out of him that made himself blush in embarrassment. The heat of the shower was getting to Eddie’s head.

Today would be a good day, Eddie thought, thinking about how he’d secretly watch Richie’s swaggering lean frame walk next to Stan’s perfect postured sway.

 He was screwed, but it’d be a good day.

 Why? Because Richie told him so, and Richie was a bad liar.


	9. Lose It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Losers decide to go to the movies.  
> Stan POV! shifts to Eddie POV!  
> Eddie sits in the middle of Richie and Stan.  
> Richie thinks the movies is a good time to talk about sex.
> 
> Song of the chapter: Lose it by SWMRS

Beverly was gushing about how good the eggs were to Mike, when Eddie’s eyes fell on Stan. He was carefully separating his eggs from his hash browns.

He had put ketchup on the side of the plate, to dip the potatoes in and carefully pull them off his fork with his mouth. It made Eddie feel warm, watching Stan be so careful and precise with his meal.

Then Eddie’s eyes looked over at Richie, who had his eggs, bacon, and potatoes thrown into a big jumbled mess.

 Not to mention, he doused it with syrup, which wasn’t as bad as Eddie thought it’d be having tried it a couple of times.

“I’m so sorry, Stan. My Uncle didn’t have any Kosher in the fridge. I’ll buy some when we go out,” Mike’s eyebrows furrowed as he eyed the bacon Stan couldn’t eat. Stan looked slightly surprised, before shaking his head.

“It’s not a problem, Mike. I’m used to being around non-Kosher meals. But that’s very thoughtful, thank you,” Stan smiled, trying to chew his food on the side of his mouth so it didn’t show when he spoke.

“Oh shit, you can’t eat Bacon!” Richie stated, coming to a realization. Stan nodded, shrugging as he forked up more egg.

“Bacon isn’t even as good as it’s hyped up to be,” Stan stated matter-of-factly. He looked up at the Losers, leering at them as he continued. “Turkey bacon is way better.”

Richie gasped, nearly spitting his food out. Beverly giggled at the way Richie’s hand shot to his mouth, to save the food from leaving. Stan made a face at Richie’s mess, before hearing Eddie speak up.

“Honestly, Turkey bacon is better for you. I’ve read about it in the food section of my mom’s magazines,” Eddie nodded, looking over at Richie smugly because fact beats opinion. Richie finished a swig of orange juice before blowing raspberries into the air.

“Oh, please. Healthy doesn’t top taste,” Richie argued, leaning over his plate, pointing his fork at Eddie.

“Healthy _is_ what matters, at the end of our days,” Ben said thoughtfully, as if contemplating it for himself as well. Beverly nudged the brown-haired boy sluggishly.

“But who wants to live a long, boring, healthy life when we can make bad decisions that taste good while we’re still young?” She gave Ben and Stan an open mouth smile, trying to convince them of her and Richie’s side.

“So, dying earlier is worth eating shit food?” Eddie questioned back, and without hesitation, Bev and Richie responded at the same time, “Absolutely,” “Totally,”. The two dorks let out a series of “OH!” s, due to answering in sync, high fiving each other over poor Mike’s head.

“How would _you_ even know regular bacon sucks if you’re Jewishness stops you?” Richie sassed, narrowing his eyes in determination to win this debate.

Stan straightened his posture, swallowing the last of his food before calmly saying, “Maybe, I’m a rule breaker. And maybe I ate some when I was at Bill’s house the last time I slept over. Just _maybe_ ,” Stan raised his eyebrows and puffed his cheeks, as if he himself didn’t know if he had eaten bacon before. They all looked surprised, except a knowing Bill.

He sure as hell did. But you best believe the guilt got to him and he prayed to God to forgive him that very night. Not to mention the never-ending regret once he swallowed the meat, he couldn’t stop picturing what his own father would think.

“No way,” Richie laughed out, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Stan the man isn’t the goodie-two-shoes we make him out to be,” Richie stated, looking at Stan like he was proud. Richie shifted to pull a leg up to his chest as he grinned at Stan’s deviant behavior.

“‘Dunno, Rich, I think Stan’s always had a wild side in ‘em,” Bev flirted with the idea aloud, which made millions of ‘wild’ things Stan could’ve done pop into Richie’s brain.

It made Richie flush a little, but he needed to stand his ground; he was in the hot seat.

 He must answer to the ever-so-lovely Beverly Marsh which, with the subject being a naughty Stan, he couldn’t refuse.

“Well spank me pink and call you daddy, Bev, I think you’re right,” Richie drawled out in a manner way too sexy for Stan’s taste. The words alone made Stan forcefully drink the liquids in his glass faster than humanly possible; he needed to avoid anyone seeing his facial expression. As had brought the cup to his lips, he let out a strangled groan, which roughly translated to ‘oh god, why is this happening’. The groan, however, blended in as offended.

The only person who _didn’t_ groan at the sentence was Eddie, amazingly. Richie noticed this and winked his way, proceeding the shorter boy to shift in his seat with a smile, twirling his fork into his eggs.

**_Excuse me? What the fuck was that?_ **

Stan wanted to die faster than the death was hitting him, since their morning conversations were way too lenient of Richie’s frisky jokes. It caused him to notice things, things he normally wouldn’t have noticed if he didn’t want to make-out with the two of them all the time.

Things like Eddie seemingly finding Richie’s ‘daddy’ comment to Bev somehow okay to say, like he wanted Richie to say it again.

Things like Richie winking at Eddie, but not in the way Richie winks at Ben when he catches him looking at Bev too long.

 Not the way Richie winks at Mike when they talk about ‘riding’ horses.

 It was the way Richie winks at Daphne Carlton, the pretty girl in their old Social Studies course.

The way he winked at the life guard at the pool, then proceeded to casually tell Stan (much to Stan’s dismay) that he’d “Blow that man every fuckin’ day of his life, if he wanted”. 

This was a wink that had enough Tozier charm to think it was a joke, but if you looked closer, it wasn’t overexaggerated. Richie’s mouth hadn’t widened open with the wink.

He hadn’t waggled his eyebrows or shake his shoulders towards Eddie playfully.

 _Oh no_ , Richie had leaned back in his chair, parted his lips into the ghost of a smirk, and winked at Eddie as if they just met in a fucking bar.

The best part about it was that Eddie reacted to Richie the same way he once was cat-called while walking with Stan:

Coy.

Blushing.

**_Submissive._ **

The word was being branded into his brain, as if his mental dictionary had against his will plastered the very word all over Eddie’s definition.

The old, friendly definition of Eddie was created by memories of action figures, playing in the rain, giggling at cartoons on T.V. Eddie was strong, defiant, passionate. Eddie was always a welcoming, jaunty, caring boy.

 Now, all those memories were being tainted, by this simple word. A word for sinners, for the bad. But, to top it all off, all Stan wanted was to sin, be bad, like he was always told not to be.

Eddie’s sassiness wore down in Stan’s mind as feisty in bed, his caring would mean he was a great lover, his defiance would lead to punishment of the sexual kind.

 Eddie was a bottom, and for some odd reason the very fact drove Stan mad.

Stan felt his fingers twitch involuntarily, thinking about putting Eddie in his place, begging for more. The mere dream of it left Stan dry at the mouth.

 Maybe he needed a glass of water? He surely drank all the remaining water from the cup when he panicked before.

 Maybe Richie could help him fix his thirst, because Stan was a complex man.

He yearned to ruin Eddie, yes.

However, he simultaneously yearned to be _ruined_ by Richie as well.

He didn’t remember the correct word for it, Richie’s shitty sex-ed lesson that one time at lunch was fuzzy, just like Stan’s entire thought process.   

Stan was losing his mind, overthinking was going to put his body into overdrive and he hasn’t even been awake long enough for that to be explainable. So, Stan did what he did best: Diverge and repress.

“So, the town, huh?” Stan was thankful for Bill Denbrough in many ways. He was always the one to help them ‘see the light at the end of the tunnel’.

Leadership was one of Bill’s many skills, as well as eating 17 hot dogs in 22 minutes (He beat Richie’s time of 24 minutes) and how to paint very pretty pictures. All these things were eligible to put on Bill’s resume.

 Stan could’ve laughed at the thought, if he wasn’t trying to focus so hard on the conversation about town. His ears felt like they were muffled, until he zoned back into Mike’s voice, explaining the town to the others like he had for him and Bill.

It sounded far away. Stan looked at his food, feeling distant. How long have they been talking for? Suddenly, Bev coughed from her drink going down ‘the wrong pipe’, and it yanked Stan out of whatever daze he was in.

“We could leave in about 30 minutes, if everyone is ready in time. We could make the 12:00 PM showing,” Eddie’s voice ringing in his ears as he searched on his phone for these details. The world around Stan was now clear as day.

Wait, Showing? What showing?

Rather than asking about it, he didn’t want any worriers or concerned friends; he nodded along with the others until they talked enough for him to get context clues. Okay, so it’s a movie. What the hell is out right now?

“Nobody saw that movie yet? I don’t wanna make someone see it again,” Bill frowned slightly, his pink lips turned downwards in thought. Everyone looked around, shaking their heads or replying with “I haven’t,”. Stan, like a liar, shook his head. He had no idea what ‘that movie’ even was.

“Then it’s final! Get your asses ready people, we’re leaving in 30,” Eddie nodded towards the stairs, and in a dash of dishes and bodies, everyone went along to finish getting ready for the day.

Stan looked at his plate of unfinished food, picking of up fork to return to it. He knew the only other person sitting with him was Ben, who was all dressed and finishing his meal as well.

“Stan,” Ben’s voice carried softly over the table, causing Stan to peek up as he put eggs into his mouth.

“Hm?”

“Do you think _Call me by your name_ will be good?”

**_Bingo._ **

“Oh, you bet your fur, Benny boy,”

 ~~~~~~~~~~

They were there at the movie theatre, getting out of Mike’s car, and Stan was feeling better than he was earlier. At least they weren’t in Derry, he thought bitterly.

 But, no bitterness today.

No, today he wouldn’t worry about their shitty town that was more than an hour away.

He would focus on the movie, how cute Timothee Chalamet is, and try not to longingly gaze at either of his boys’.

As Stan tried not to sulk and followed a chatty Mike, Eddie was trailing behind Ben by a bit. He was casually listening to another of Richie’s horror stories about his job. It looked like Eddie was listening, and honestly, he was. But he was a little more interested in Richie himself then the story.  

“And then this dumbass customer told me, ‘Well, do your damn job’,” Richie was exasperated from rehashing the memory, throwing his arms up defensively. Bev, who was also listening, shook her head in disapproval.  


“What a dick,” Bev chimed in, only riling Richie up more.

“I know, right? Ugh, it gets worse,” Richie swirled on his heels to look more at Ben and Eddie, wanting to include them in his horrible adventures working at ‘Derry Scoop’, the local ice-cream shop.

“So, I look this guy dead in the face, smile and say,” Richie pauses, looking around to make eye contact with the other 3 to create a build-up.

 Bev, being herself, leaned towards Richie in anticipation.

 Ben was patient, as always, blinking as Richie kept them waiting.

 Eddie furrowed his brow at the already-too-long-pause, rolling his eyes when Richie winked at him. He’s been doing that a lot lately.

“’I apologize sir, would you want me to check if there’s a waffle cone up your ass?’ and walked into the back to cool off before it got too heated,” Richie shrugged it off as he smiled at Bev, who had been cackling since Richie’s mention of a waffle cone.

Ben was shaking his head with a smile, before asking Richie, “So, you lost your job?”

“Actually, the guy tipped me, and my boss didn’t mention a complaint so, I have a shift the day after we go back home,” Richie seemed so nonchalant about the confrontation, Eddie would bet a million dollars that Richie has had worse.

“But enough about the ol’ Derry Scoop drama, you guys see the trailer to this movie?” Richie asked, turning back to walk up to the building Stan, Mike, and Bill were about to walk into. Before anyone could answer, Richie had laughed. The laugh wasn’t a happy one, but cold and stale. It’s the voice Richie used to talk Mr. Tozier with, before Wentworth got better with his parenting, Eddie supposed.

“Golly, our hero is here to hold the door for us, thanks Billiam,” The sickeningly sweet voice implies Richie was irritated and Eddie knew he wasn’t the only one feeling tension. Bev shifted in her black boots, obviously effected by the negativity. It got worse, and it was when Bill opened his mouth to reply.

“It’s the p- _polite_ thing to do,” Bill used the word as if Richie has never heard of it. The tone seemed to set Richie off and into a mood, in a way that started to worry Eddie.

Richie suddenly became very quiet and didn’t finish the conversation he was having with the other three. He simply kept on strolling passed Bill, as if he didn’t see Bill at all, and straight to the ticket booth where Stan and Mike were waiting.

 Eddie made eye contact with Bill, who looked somewhat guilty, and averted his eyes to his shoes.

Guilty about _what_? Eddie wanted to know but thought that may upset either of the boys’ even more. He resorted to following Richie’s stride toward the ticket booth.

“You guys can just pay me back in the form of love,” Mike was saying to Richie, holding a hand over his own heart.

 Stan had his arms crossed, defiantly. It almost made Eddie smile, if he didn’t catch what Mike was saying.  


“What are you talking about?” Eddie asked Mike, who was about to speak, but was quickly cut off by Richie.

“This beautiful jackass, who is too nice for his own good, bought everyone’s ticket,” Richie exclaimed, throwing his arms up and not knowing whether to frown or smile.

“I tried to stop him, but he just kept going. Mike, let us just pay you back. Here, I have enough,” Stan went to reach for his wallet when Mike held his arm softly.

Bev, Ben, and Bill were now involved with the situation, and let out protests to Mike paying.

“Guys, no worries, I wanna treat you all. Besides, my uncle gave me a lot of money for the trip, just in case we wanted to splurge. One movie isn’t gonna hurt the grand total,” Mike was trying to convince them, but they didn’t budge.

“But you could let us pay and keep that money for yourself. It feels unfair that you cook for us, your uncle pays the rent for everything at the house, and you buy the groceries. Don’t pay for our movie, too!” Beverly pleaded, as she held out a ten-dollar bill to Mike, who looked like he’d given in. Mike was never the type to upset a crowd, and so, let them pay.

“Oh, alright,” He sighed, as Bev happily shoved the ten into Mike’s hand. They all let out sounds of victory and gave Mike a messy pile of money.

“How ‘bout you let me buy you some popcorn?” Ben put his arm around Mike, tugging the dark boy close to him. Mike rolled his eyes, but surely enough, his dimples were revealed in a heart-warming smile.

“Thanks, Benny,” Mike grateful replied, but before Ben could finish, Bev was jumping into their conversation, asking if she could but Mike’s soda.

The whole ordeal made Eddie feel fuzzy inside. Seeing how loving and caring everyone was for each other made Eddie feel like he was lucky. Yeah, hardships are everywhere, whether it’s family or school, but the Losers always felt like home to him. He was sure everyone else felt the same way.

They all got their popcorn, candy, and sodas for the movie when Eddie realized how quiet Richie was being. It wasn’t until the seating arrangements that he spoke up.

Bev and Ben had wondered into the row they chose, with Bev sitting in next to Mike. Bill was at Mike’s left, with Stan being after him. Richie was hesitant to enter the row, even though he was walking in front of Eddie. Eddie raised a brow at Richie’s sudden halt, about to ask why, but Richie’s voice spoke.

“Well. In ya’ go, Ed’s,” Richie moved out of the way and gestured Eddie towards Stan, who was situating his popcorn in between his legs. Eddie looked back at Richie with a questionable look, but Richie did nothing but smile his way.

Well, if he’s gonna be that cute, Eddie figured he couldn’t say no.

Without another word, Eddie carefully walked to his seat next to Stan, who had leaned over to take a sip of his soda.

“You excited to see some man on man action?” Stan asked with sarcasm intertwined with a smile, but Eddie couldn’t tell if Stan was joking or not.

Eddie was very excited to see some action, yes. So, he thought playing along with Stan wouldn’t do any harm.

“Are you kidding? Of course, I’m excited. If I can’t get some dick it’s nice to see someone else get some,” Eddie huffed out as he shoved a handful of buttery popcorn into his mouth, feeling a bit hot for what he said.

“Y-yeah,” Stan mumbled, looking away from Eddie. The whole conversation made Eddie blush, which wasn’t the goal but hey, life is funny.

 Stan seemed to have been affected by it as well, because he nervously chuckled before also resorting to popcorn eating. Sadly, Richie heard and was anything but embarrassed.

“Oh my god, here it is, folks,” Richie looked through his fingers, which was the shape of a box, as if it was a filming camera.

“Welcome to the annual Dick-depraved awards. I’m your host- ““-Fuck off, Richie. As if you’ve gotten any in the past few months,” Eddie cut off Richie’s speal, holding his popcorn bag extra tight.

 He was pissed, yes. But, not because Richie thinks he’s funny. He’s pissed because Richie was right, at least about him. Eddie hadn’t gotten dick in a while.

And ‘in a while’ Eddie means literally never.

“Oh, on the contrary, I’ve gotten my dick wet in the last month or so,” Richie beamed at the brunette boy, who turned red from what Richie presumed was anger.

It was amazing, all of this, to Stan. Stan tried not to think about all of Richie’s so-called side hoes.

Especially ones that make Richie miss out on movie nights or a hang-outs with the losers.

 Eddie’s train of thought was also in that direction. He thought about the time he’d called Richie’s phone, wondering if he was going to show for a Quarry swim, just for a girl to answer it for him.

_Eddie remembers the girl giggling into the speaker, movement hitting his ears from a bit farther away. He remembers the girl asking who it was, and Richie’s low voice murmuring sweet nothings (presumably into the girl’s neck)._

_When he had answered, dumbfounded, with a small “Um, it’s Eddie”, the girl told Richie his name, and Richie must’ve pushed the girl to get to the phone, because there was sudden yelping and shuffling static reaching Eddie’s ears._

_Eddie remembers when Richie answered, his breath was bated, and Eddie knew it wasn’t because he ran or anything. It was arousal._

_“Ed’s? Hey! Sorry ‘bout that, uh, what’s up?” Richie’s voice was scratchy, in the kind that Eddie had only dreamed about. Not a sleepy type, but a rough yet breathy type. The type Eddie would close his eyes and only hear in his dirtiest fantasy._

_In the end, Richie declined hanging out with the Losers, because he had so wittily answered “I’ve got some finished business to attend to”. Somewhere in their short conversation, Eddie could’ve sworn he heard Richie stifle a moan, the girl was probably the reason Richie even elicited the noise and that caused Eddie to end the phone call quicker than usual._

Eddie wonders if Richie was still seeing the girl with no-name or face, the one that only has a voice.

“Yeah, right,” Eddie fussed, scoffing at Richie’s expectant, dark eyes.

“Oh, Eddie-bear doesn’t believe me, huh?” Richie mused, leaning closer to Eddie, trying to pinch his cheeks. Eddie, with cat-like reflexes, hit the big, pale hands from reaching his face.

“Nobody does. I get you’re a horndog and all, but you’re still a virgin,” Eddie lied straight through his teeth, watching Richie carefully as he did so.

He hated himself for doing it, but he wanted to know if the little voice in his brain was right. He knows (but hoped it wasn’t true) that Richie was fucked other people.

It shouldn’t bother him at all, if so. Eddie is nothing to Richie but a close friend, so even if Richie had gotten his ‘dick wet’, who’s Eddie to care?

The lights lowered, telling the audience that the trailers were going to begin. Eddie could still see good enough, the light of the screen and dim lamps on the walls lit Richie’s handsome face up in shadows.

Richie, with a smug smirk, looked over in the darkness at Stan, who no doubt had been listening, but restrained himself to make direct eye contact.

Richie took this chance, thinking Eddie was the only one paying attention, to lower his head onto Eddie’s, right to his ear.

Eddie knew he was going to regret this. 

 


	10. Tipping over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie POV! (contin. from Chapter 9) 
> 
> Richie talks about sex, they get horny and Eddie loses control.   
> Eddie struggles sexually and emotionally during Call me by Your Name (SPOILERS OF MOVIE! BEWARE!!!) 
> 
> WARNINGS: kinda sexy-times but not really? Boners. Rubbing? (sexual content)
> 
> Song of the Chapter: Dirty Dirty by Charlotte Cardin

**_Eddie was right. He did regret this._ **

“The week before summer break, remember when I told you guys I ‘needed to pack’, so I didn’t go get coffee with you?” Richie’s breath was hotly rushing down Eddie’s neck, making something in Eddie’s stomach coil. 

Eddie nodded, hoping that was enough for Richie to continue. It seemed to be.

The first trailer started, with loud music and explosions, causing Richie to somehow bring his mouth closer to Eddie. He needed to make sure Eddie heard him right.

“And you remember that cheerleader who I fought with at Mike’s football game? Because she was being a cunt?” Eddie nodded once more, subconsciously holding his breath in anticipation.

“Well, she came to our dorm that day, the day you were already out at Bev’s. She was acting all prissy and shit, and then she told me that I was a jerk,” Richie waited, the king of teasing (or cock-teasing, as he also refers to it being), before letting out an airy laugh.

Eddie was staring at the screen, not processing any of the images he saw, he was using it for a sort of white-static to think and imagine Richie in their dorm, with that bitch cheerleader.

“And?” Eddie whispered, causing Richie’s breathing to deepen a bit.

Was he okay?

 As Eddie was about to turn to look at Richie, to make sure he was alright, Richie placed a hand on Eddie shoulder.

Some of Richie’s warm fingers lingered over Eddie’s shirt collar and onto his exposed neck. That sure as hell shut Eddie up faster than a punch in the mouth.

“She said she thought me being angry was kinda hot, and fuck, Eddie,” He breathed out lowly, and it spiked Eddie’s blood pressure, really, the way Richie was acting. 

His voice was drifting closer and closer to the way it was when he called in the middle of Richie’s ‘unfinished business’.

“She was wearing one of those short little schoolgirl skirts that cheerleaders are  _destined_  to wear, and I was  _really_  close to losing my cool.

But I didn’t, not yet,” Their voices were unable to be heard by anybody but each other, since the second trailer that was playing was even louder than the first one.

“You know why I lost it?” Richie’s voice came out in a ragged and heavy whisper.

He didn’t know what game Richie was playing at, or if it was even a game at all, but Richie wasn’t thinking straight, that’s for sure.

As Eddie’s mind raced about why Richie thought this conversation would be fun at the movies, Richie shifted closer to Eddie, his mouth touching Eddie’s neck for a slight moment. It made Eddie freeze in place, and he felt his lower regions stir.

Eddie didn’t mean to look, he really blames it on hormones, but he glanced downwards at Richie’s other hand and it was hovering over Richie’s crotch. Eddie narrowed in on what lay beneath that pale hand and it was none other than a boner. Eddie wanted to scream, jump out of his seat, and leave for the bathroom.

But he couldn’t, he wasn’t a fan of big scenes. And after all, he didn’t  _want_  to leave. All he needed to do was calm down because whatever was running through Richie’s mind was slowly running into Eddie’s as well.

At least Eddie had his popcorn bag to cover his own boner, which was throbbing every time Richie’s breath reached his ear and neck.  Richie brushed his narrow nose into Eddie’s jaw, before asking him, “Do you  _wanna_  know why I lost my shit?”

“Yes,” Eddie’s own voice was breathy, and he hated that Richie had such an effect on him.

 It was driving him crazy, not being able to touch himself at all. He wanted to wait, like the slut Eddie knew himself to be, he needed to make himself wait. It always felt better when he teased himself by denial.

Maybe when this movie was over, they would go home, and Eddie could run into the bathroom, and jerk himself off like he’s never been touched. Since, in a literal way, he hasn’t.

“Ed’s,” he mumbled into Eddie’s ear, and it made Eddie want to push his own popcorn off his lap and sit in Richie’s instead.

“She dropped to her knees and begged,” Richie shifted at his own words, lazily putting his forehead up to Eddie’s temple, breathing down Eddie’s collarbone.

“Begged for what?” Eddie knew it was too much to ask for,  _too much_  information. He knew because at the question, Richie nearly whimpered.

But, Eddie was dick-depraved, and even though the thought of a girl doing these things wasn’t what he favored; The girl was quickly replaced by Eddie himself. It made picturing Richie’s story much more exciting.

“Well, shit, Ed’s, she begged me to fuck her,” Richie grabbed Eddie’s shoulder, bringing his face out of the crook of Eddie’s neck to finally look at Eddie.

This was Richie’s mistake because he had an aching boner next to one of his best friends. And Eddie had his eyes closed now, pushing his popcorn bag down against himself, restraining himself with all his might to not rut up against it.

Richie didn’t know about the rutting part, but he sure as hell wished it to be true. He could only hope their interaction turned Eddie on just as much as it turned on Richie.

”Did she wear the skirt when you fucked?” Eddie’s voice rose to Richie’s ears, and he was baffled, by the question and by Eddie himself.

Eddie was now looking into Richie’s eyes, soft and knowing. Richie could’ve died at the question, but instead, nodded wordlessly.

His mind was racing, and, like a fool, he glanced down at Eddie’s mouth. He wanted to release some tension, something to keep his dick from aching so bad.

Then the lights turned off completely, Richie not being able to make out Eddie as much without having to get closer, like he was before.

But he didn’t dare move towards Eddie in any form, he couldn’t let himself do something so dumb.

The movie was starting.

Somewhere during the movie, Elio and Oliver were laying in the grass. Sexual tension could’ve been cut with a knife, it was obvious and nearly suffocating.

Eddie swallowed thickly, watching the two men lay on the grass in a sworn silence made Eddie remember that not even an hour ago, his best friend next to him had made him feel the same way. Crazy sexual tension that may never be released.

But, as if Eddie’s doubts were voiced, Elio and Oliver were about to kiss. It released some tension, but then created even more of a heavier tension, if possible.

 Eddie then heard Richie groan at the way Elio licked at Oliver’s mouth for more kisses. It was a noise that made Eddie’s eyes widen.

A noise he thought he would never hear in an earshot. But here he is, not even arm's length away, and Richie’s moaning at the scene in front of them.

Eddie didn’t dare look over at Richie, even though the noise was well heard and noted.

 He felt Stan shift next to him, and when Eddie looked, Stan had his hands pulling his popcorn bag down onto his lap tightly, a strained look on his usually-calm face.

Eddie looked away as quickly as he realized Stan may have been using his own boner-hiding technique he had used before. What was he, surrounded by silently horny people?

He isn’t just surrounded by them, he is one of them.

Time goes by and suddenly Elio is rubbing a peach all over himself. Eddie immediately thought of Stan and how he must think it’s gross and sticky. But when Eddie peers at the blonde boy, Stan was curled into himself, one leg over the other, and fingers on his lips as he gazed at the scene splayed on screen.

Eddie drank in all of Stan’s features, the way his finger lingered near his mouth as if contemplating on whether he should put them in or not. The way his eyes looked glazed over and followed wherever Elio dragged the peach itself.

 Eddie then looked down into his popcorn before grabbing a couple of pieces and popped them into his mouth.

Unfortunately, he looked up at the wrong time, because Elio was taking the pit out, creating a deeper hole, and presumed to slowly put the peach into his boxers.

No, no, he’s not doing what-

Elio’s moan rose through the speakers of the theater, causing Eddie to inhale very quickly. He nearly choked on popcorn, but calmed himself down, coming to terms with the fact that Elio was fucking a peach.

Richie’s feet hit his own, and when Eddie looked he was stretched out, hand over his dick and the other covering his mouth in either wonder or amazement. Maybe both.

 Eddie wanted to look away, but there was no doubt Richie was getting hard, if not already, by the mere sound echoing in a silent theater.

The sound was wet and constant and even though it was Elio’s dick pulling in and out of a peach, it reminded Eddie of what it reminded everyone of: Sex.

Whether gay or straight, that sound was universal for deep-dicking. And if that didn’t get Eddie hard, he didn’t know what would.

With that sound and Elio’s breathing picking up its pace, Richie’s eyes flickered from the screen and to Eddie, who was still looking at him.

Richie blinked slowly at Eddie, who also didn’t look away, and at a specifically sigh of the word “Fuck,” from onscreen, Richie rolled his eyes slightly before shutting them tightly. His thighs pulled towards upwards, pushing his dick into his own hand.

If Eddie didn’t know any better, he would’ve thought Richie was stretching. But, Eddie was entranced and had watched every movement in Richie’s body.

And for the split-second that Richie closed his eyes tight, Eddie saw him rub against his hand.

 Eddie needed a break.

After watching Richie do that, knowing Eddie was still looking, it was all too much.

 Eddie stood up from his seat and headed for the emergency lights to lead him out of the theater. He needed a break from the over-flowing energy of ‘I need to fuck before I explode’.

He headed for the bathroom and locked himself in a bathroom stall. He made sure to choose the handicap one for extra space to pace.

After he calmed himself down and his arousal slowly faded away into another feeling, he opened the swinging door and walked over to the sinks. The feeling that started to bubble within in Eddie. And it wasn’t a good one.

Eddie looked at himself in the dim lighting of the theater’s bathroom mirror. His face was blotchy red in his cheek area, and his eyes looked tired.

He wasn’t sleepy or anything, he was simply exhausted.

He was exhausted of this game he keeps himself playing. A game he’s playing alone.

It was a feeling that was creeping in, to remind him that Richie had only gotten riled up because a memory he had fucking some girl.

It reminded Eddie that Stan had looked at Timothee Chalamet in a low gaze he’d never look at Eddie with.

Eddie, as he splashed cold water on his face, realized that he would never get them to be his. And even if they fooled around in bed, Stan nor Richie would want to actually be in a real relationship with him.

Eddie would be lucky if they’d even let him suck their dicks let alone say those 3 words Eddie yearned for so much.

Eddie took paper towels to wipe his dripping face, before looking one last time at his pitiful self before balling it up and trashing it. The shitty feeling sunk down in his chest even deeper.

That feeling told Eddie that his hopeless affection would end pathetically.

When he made his way back into the darkness, Richie looked antsy, as if he’d been waiting for Eddie to come back.

Eddie probably was just hoping for too much, so he ignored the small jump of his heart when he saw Richie’s head peeking around his chair towards the exit.

 Once Eddie scooted passed Richie’s legs to sit back down, he picked his popcorn up from the floor to distract the feeling of dramatic despair rising within him. Richie tapped his shoulder and when Eddie looked, he had leaned closer.

Richie’s beautiful face made Eddie want to lean forward to get closer and move back to have distance all at once. Eddie did neither.

“Eddie, I…” Richie trailed off, looking into Eddie’s eyes with a seriousness Eddie feared. It was as if Richie knew now, how Eddie felt. And Richie didn’t know what to do with the information, because it was useless.

Richie didn’t like Eddie more than a brother, he was only a close friend.  Eddie’s mind was forcing false thoughts and emotions into his perception of Richie because he was afraid.

He’d rather be hurt now then try to make a move on Stan and Richie and be mistaken. Quiet heartbreak was better than public ones. 

“I just wanted to make sure you’re okay,” Richie whispered genuinely. And Eddie believed Richie, but a small voice told Eddie that Richie’s intent was out of pity or guilt.

Little did Eddie know that he was partially right. Richie felt so bad, but not  _for_  Eddie.

He didn’t pity him. He felt bad that Eddie had to witness Richie losing his cool and being perverted.

Richie thought it must’ve upset Eddie, so much so that Eddie fled to the bathroom. How silly that the two boys’ assumptions of each other were incorrect.

“Are you?” The whisper floated in the air for a good second, before Eddie answered.

Eddie’s eyes fluttered at the sudden softness in Richie’s tone, and cleared his throat to make sure Richie didn’t hear his fondness.

No, Eddie wasn’t okay. Not in the slightest form. He was dumb for feeling the way he felt for Stan and Richie in the first place.

“I’m okay,” Eddie lied, letting a fake smile be the band aid to the bullet wound. Richie took the smile as confirmation that Eddie was good.

He smiled back at Eddie before tearing his eyes away to look back to the screen. Eddie’s smile faltered as he watched Richie stare at the movie, letting his façade drop.

 He was dumb for letting himself get excited, to believe he even had a chance. They wouldn’t want him because they could have anybody they wanted.

Stan’s choice would be a much more prestigious person. Someone who would iron Stan’s clothes for him in the morning. Someone who knows all different types of tea due to all the books they read at café shops. Someone that could challenge Stan’s intellectual, dry humor. Someone chic yet fun. Someone who doesn’t wear bright red dolphin shorts like Eddie.

 

Richie’s choices would be way more attractive than himself. Someone who had a fantastic body that Richie could admire all the time.  Someone that’d smoke weed with Richie to  _The Cramps_  before making out until they sleep. Someone that could kill bugs when Richie was too scared too. Someone silly yet mysterious. Someone that didn’t have a high-pitched, whiney voice like Eddie.

The thoughts only made Eddie’s chest ache worse.

At this point, he should just ignore his own life and escape into the movie. He could live vicariously, so to speak. He could soak in the beauty of the movie in front of him. At least Elio and Oliver get to be together.

30 minutes later and Eddie was absolutely pissed.

They all stared at the credits rolling on the screen, as Elio cried in front of the fire. The lights were slowly turned on, and people started to leave.

Eddie couldn’t believe it. Elio and Oliver never end up together, even though what they had was so purely amazing. They were meant to be, Eddie thought.

He realized his own tears had fallen down his cheek and were falling down his jawline to his neck. He’d been seeing blurry tears since Elio picked up the phone 3 minutes before now.

Oliver wasn’t returning to Italy for Elio. He was engaged to a woman.

He felt Elio’s pain of love that just couldn’t be, and it ripped Eddie to pieces. Why'd they make him see this damn movie?

“Damn, my guy deserved better though,” He heard Mike voice from his far right. He agreed.

Eddie quickly came to terms that reality was back and he needed to collect himself, so he used his palms to wipe his tears before others could see.

He stood up from his seat, empty popcorn bag in hand, and tried to sniffle quietly.

“Eddie?” Stan asked in a small voice, looking at him with a worried expression.

Fuck.

Of course, it was already too late.

“I feel ya, Eddie,” Bev, who’s face was wet with tears as well, smiled kindly at him. He returned it, before turning to walk out of their aisle.

It made Eddie feel better, knowing he isn’t really alone. He never really felt lonely. But it didn’t stop his sadness nonetheless.

“I thought they were good together. It’s a shame how it ended,” Ben admitted, as they walked down the steep to leave the theater. Once back in the brighter lights, he heard Richie scoff.

“Oliver’s a pussy, that’s why. He was scared of the world knowing about them. He’s the one that’s shameful if anything,” Richie stated irritably. Eddie felt his eyes widen at the evident anger residing in Richie’s voice.

“I hate Oliver. Least favorite character,” Stan matter-of-factly said, waving his hand dismissively. Bill agreed,

Eddie doesn’t know why, but the way that Stan and Richie disliked Oliver’s character made him feel better.

Maybe it’s because it made Eddie feel like if they ever found out about Eddie’s feelings, they wouldn’t stop being his friend.

 They’d reject him, sure, but they wouldn’t hate him. They felt bad for Elio, not Oliver. And that made things a little better.

“Honestly, Oliver’s an idiot. Elio’s is waaay too fine to pass up,” Richie smirked, hitting Eddie’s shoulder. It pushed Eddie into Stan slightly, making Eddie look up at the blonde boy apologetically.

Hearing Richie talk about how nice looking Timothee Chalamet’s character was made Eddie cringe slightly, remembering their weird, little fiasco of horniness.

“I mean, he is cute. He sorta reminded me of Eddie,” Bev laughed out, throwing her pale arm around Ben. It made Eddie gasp a little, before shaking his head in denial.

Richie gasped before clapping his hands together.

“Yes! Holy shit, that’s why his aura felt so familiar,” Richie exclaimed as if reaching an epiphany.

Stan quirked a brow and crossed his arms, snorting at Richie’s choice of words.

“Aura?” He voiced playfully, right as Eddie opened his mouth to speak.

“N-no, he didn’t! He’s way cuter than I could ever dream of being,” Eddie mumbled, face becoming warm. He heard Stan make a strained noise, but when he looked, the Jewish boy wore a curious smile.

“You know, when I was watching it, I kinda thought the same thing,” He gave Eddie a cute sideways smile, revealing one of his slight dimples.

It made Eddie’s face heat up further.

“He doesn’t look like me,” Eddie shot at Bev, rolling his eyes at her mischievous grin.

“Not identically, no, but he’s cute! And you have a similar vibe of cuteness,” Bev tried convincing Eddie, though he wouldn’t believe it.

Partly, because he didn’t want the same fate as Elio. He didn’t want to be left for dead by a man he loved wholeheartedly.

“Wavy brunette hair, pretty face. But he’s way too  _pale_  for my taste,” Bev explained. “Sorry, Rich,” She added towards the pale boy.

“No problem, tangerine,” He winked her way.

 “And his eyes are light colored? Ugh, over-played stereotype. Boring!” She hollered, looking Bill’s way.

“No offense, Blue-eyes,” She quirked.

“None taken,” Bill smiled, raising his hands to show he’s got no beef with the redhead.

 “I mean, come on, Eddie, you have brown eyes and your sun-kissed to perfection. So, in my book, you’re the cuter Elio,” Bev winked at him, before pulling him into a friendly side hug.

Eddie rolled his eyes but leaned towards her touch. He was a sucker for some good ‘ol affection.

“Bev?” Eddie perked up, making Bev look back to him immediately.

“Hm?”

 “Has anyone told you that you’re the cuter strawberry shortcake?” Eddie asked coyly

Bev narrowed her eyes at him, before smirking.

“I am cuter, ain’t I?” She shimmied against him and it made him laugh. It reminded him to focus on the positive side.

They weren’t in Derry. They were hanging out altogether. They were on vacation, for God’s sake. Eddie needed to try to enjoy the good things instead of letting the bad overwhelm him.

“Strawberry shortcake? Damn, that reminds me- I’m starving!” Richie exclaimed, and everyone simultaneously agreed.

As they walked the streets of the town, deciding where to eat, Eddie couldn’t help but grin. Maybe Stan and Richie thought he was the cuter Elio, too.


	11. Il m'aime, il ne m'aime pas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Chapter title translated from French: He loves me, he loves me not]
> 
> Richie and Bill are at it again, and it only raises questions from Stan and Eddie. What's the matter with those two?
> 
> ~~~More fluffiness and angst in this chapter then sexual content (I don't think there is any in this one?)
> 
> SONG OF THE CHAPTER: Sweet Bird by Young Hunting
> 
> PS: ORIGINALLY, THINGS THAT UNFOLD IN THIS CHAPTER WERE MEANT TO HAPPEN WAY LATER IN THE STORY, BUT I THOUGHT IT'D BE NICE TO SPICE THINGS UP AND CAUSE MORE DRAMA FOR OUR HUNGRY SOULS ;))))
> 
> THANK YOU ALL FOR SUPPORTING MY STORY, I HOPE YOU ENJOY! XOXOXO

* * *

 

They bought Chinese food and brought it back to the house. It was around 4:30 pm when they arrived home, so Mike called it early dinner.

“I’m still upset by the way that movie ended,” Mike admitted, as they ate their food in the living room. He was looking around at the other faces, enthusiastic to see their reactions. Nearly everyone groaned in agreement.

“It was a sad sort of beautiful, ya know?” Ben chirped up, eating the barbequed ribs out of the white folded box. Bev sighed, shaking her curly red hair.

“No, it was not. Ben, Oliver sucks ass. I get it may be poetic and all, but it was still hella upsetting,” She peered at Ben, half-chewing on her pork fried rice.

Ben shrugged, putting down his chopsticks.

“I dunno, the way Elio smiled at end, while crying,” Ben looked at Eddie, who had leaned in to hear out Ben’s thoughts.

“There something melancholy about it. It was kinda beautiful,”

“Maybe so,” Stan spoke, forking at his lomein noodles. Eddie looked at Stan to watch him eat. It sounds weird, but Stan always put too much into his mouth and was forced to chew looking like a chipmunk.

It made him look less intimidating then his usual stoic and seemingly unapproachable demeanor.

But, when looking away from the curly haired boy, he saw Bill looking at him as well. The look in Bill’s eyes mirrored the way Bill used to look at Bev when they were all kids. It made feel the slightest bit of jealousy watching the blue-eyed boy gaze at Stan with such admiration.

Of course, Stan was handsome, but Bill was staring at him a little too much for Eddie’s liking.

“Aw, Babe, that’s cute,” Bev gave Ben a darling smile and touch his shoulder supportively.

“But!” She quickly cut into, making Ben chuckle, admiring her passion.

“The ending wasn’t beautiful to me. I blame society for Oliver’s heteronormative actions,” Bev made a face before shoving more rice into her mouth.

“Yes! That’s exactly it, I can’t fucking stand shit like that,” Richie intervened, glaring down at his wonton soup.

“W-what if Oliver liked the w-woman more?” Bill shot back, his fork playing with his own noodles. Richie looked up from his wontons with even more distaste then before.

“Oh, sure, Bill. Even so, does that make it okay to be an asshole? He didn’t even let Elio’s down, or let him know ‘Hey, yeah, I’m not comin’ back, found me a wife’?” Richie mocked Oliver’s voice in a goofy manner before shaking his head and giving Bill a dirty look.

“It w-was Oliver’s choice, I feel bad for Elio, b-but he can’t control Oliver,” Bill quickly answered, just as much annoyance in his voice as Richie.

An undeniable tension wafted into the room, hot and angry.

Richie scoffed at Bill’s rebuttal.

“He made Elio think it was true love and then he dipped. Sounds like an asshat to me,” Richie concluded, slurping at his wontons up as if he was done with the conversation.

Bill rolled his eyes, and viciously forked noodles into his own mouth.

Beverly had a mouthful of rice, as she looked wide-eyed back and forth between the two.

 Eddie knew something was wrong, just like earlier at the movie theaters by the door. It was unlike either of them to lash out at each other without telling the group about it.

As the conversation drifted to less intense topics, he wondered if later tonight he should ask Richie.

He didn’t know if it would only make Richie quieter about the topic, however. If Richie didn’t want to share information, he’d take it to the grave in pure spite.

But Eddie didn’t fret about whether to ask Richie or not for too long, because once everyone went to their rooms, Stan swooped in like the white knight he was and saved Eddie from the worry.

“What’s with you and Denbrough?” Stan’s voice was confident and dull, as if he had no intent on harming Richie’s ego nor caring about it either.

It was not the best approach, since Stan was usually no man for cushioning an issue. But, it was blunt like always, and it got the point across quickly.

The door was shut, and Eddie had been crisscrossed on the bed when Stan’s question flew out of nowhere.

Richie, who was rummaging through his bag to find his phone charger, froze. Neither Eddie nor Stan could see the other boy’s face, but his stiff posture was enough to know he had heard the question.

Stan loomed behind Richie and began to step closer when the dark-haired boy didn’t answer.

“ _Richie_ ,” Stan’s voice was growing slightly impatient and scolding, as if Richie had broken something in the house and Stan was his mother trying to pull the truth out of him.

“ _Stan_ ,” Richie mocked back, before continuing his search for his phone’s charging chord.

“I won’t ask again,” Stan sounded like Richie had no other choice, but Richie didn’t seem to think that way. Maybe Eddie only heard it so demanding.

“Stan, Bill got on my nerves about the movie, okay? His views are trash. Happy?” Richie finally revealed his face, turning to Stan with a grin unnaturally wide, before it was wiped off his face completely. He waltzed over to the nearest outlet and began setting his charger up.

“No, I’m not happy. There has to be more to it, Rich,” Stan’s voice was still stern, yet laxer, Eddie especially noticed the cute ‘Rich’ added on the end. It seemed to have softened Richie up as well.

“Stan, if I told you, you wouldn’t understand,” Richie sighed, plugging it in and following the chord until he found the end.

“I wouldn’t understand? I’m your best friend, why wouldn’t I?” Stan continued to convince Richie to spill it but seemed hurt at the implication that Richie couldn’t come to him for this.

“Because it’s about you. Now can you drop the lawyer act? Geesh, you’re really on my case. Oh! Pun!” Richie laughed once his phone was charging and pointed at Eddie, as if he was hosting a comedy show. Eddie smiled at him, but only so Richie would loosen up.

Wait.

Did Richie just say it was about Stan?

“Um, excuse me, if it’s about me, shouldn’t I have the right to know?” Stan was upset now, crossing his arms as he followed Richie into the bathroom. Eddie, from his position on their bed(s?), peered through the door to only really see Richie’s head since Stan was barricading him from leaving it.

“It’s not my place to tell you, Stan,” Richie’s voice was getting closer to yelling, but he was repressing his anger. Eddie could only assume it was because he didn’t want to upset Stan further.

“I don’t give a fuck, Richie. Tell me or else,” Stan was tapping his foot now, and Eddie could see the helpless look on Richie’s face from over Stan’s shoulder. Richie looked at Eddie for help, so Eddie took it as a chance to chime in.

“Richie, Stan’s not gonna run to Bill and tell him what you said. Why can’t you just say it? Stan will act like nothing happened. No one else will find out,” Eddie tried to edge him in by smiling, leaning up higher on his knees so he knew Richie saw his smile. Stan was also looking at Eddie, who he tightened his lip and relaxed his face in a way that said ‘Thanks’.

Richie threw his arms up, before looking back at Stan tiredly.

“Please, Stan. You’d be better off not knowing- “”-Does Bill like Stan?” Eddie cut Richie off, suddenly thinking about how Bill was looking at Stan all throughout dinner. Richie’s eyes widened, but his mouth clamped shut. Stan looked at Eddie puzzled.

“No shit, we’re all friends, aren’t we?” But the moment the words left his own lips, Stan’s eyes widened as well, before screwing up into shock. There was a long moment of silence in the room before Stan spoke.

“Oh,” Stan let out, and it was enough to make Richie laugh. It almost sounded bitter.

 Eddie wasn’t too thrilled about it if it was true. That would mean Stan really would never be his, especially if his competition was their own local Leonardo DiCaprio.

Though, he wasn’t too sure what Richie was so annoyed about. Maybe he was scared he would see less of Stan, since they were always close as kids.

“Great guess, Ed’s, really on the nose with that one. Ever thought of playing darts for money?” Richie walked past Stan and into the bedroom again, pretending to throw a dart at Eddie’s face.

He wore a grin, but his eyes were dark, like something was bothering him. Eddie didn’t know what to do, so he did nothing but soak in the fact that Bill actually liked Stan. He didn’t even know Bill liked boys.

 When Eddie’s gaze fell back to Stan, he stood still, looking right at Eddie with an emotion he could only decipher as pity.

“Oh, that’s not good,” Stan let out.

Richie paused what he was doing to turn around to look at the Jewish boy.

“Excusez-moi?” Richie’s was pretty good at French, sometimes scoring higher than Stan in High School. His tone was spirited, but his face was solemn. As if he was trying to hide something. Eddie couldn’t figure it out.

Stan’s face cringed at Richie’s French, before narrowing his eyes at the curly-haired boy. It wasn’t a displeased expression though, it was a cute thing Stan did when he played around. Hopefully, Stan’s calmness about this whole thing might simmer things down a bit.

 And even though Richie had said the French term as a joke, Stan took the chance to response similarly.  

“Je ne l'aime pas,” Stan shot back, his smile becoming more evident when hearing his own correct pronunciation. Eddie was lost, due to the fact that he didn’t take French with them in High School. He took Spanish with Ben.

Richie’s face looked bizarre, like he expressed 4 emotions all at once, it was quite difficult to understand, especially when he couldn’t play along.

“Por Que?” Eddie meekly laughed out, looking back and forth between the two. Stan turned to explain, but Richie spoke before he could.

“Wait, so you don’t like Bill back?” Richie asked, moving closer to Stan.

_Oh._

“No, why? Does he think I do?” Stan went back to a more serious look, crossing his arms once again.

“Stan,” Richie sighed, plopping down next to Eddie. Eddie took this as a chance to comfort Richie and placed a hand on his shoulder. Stan didn’t speak after that for a while. He looked like he was thinking hard, almost like a trial and error but in the mind.

Eddie decided to speak while Stan took time to articulate exactly what he wanted to say.

“Why are you so upset over it? What did Bill say to you?” Eddie inquired, curiosity getting the better of him. Richie shook his head before looking Eddie in the eyes.

“Something I am not willing to say,” Richie said grimly. Eddie nodded, accepting the fact that Richie deserves privacy. He didn’t want to push his boundaries.

“I take it back,” Stan finally said. Richie and Eddie’s head turned fast to see the blonde boy awkwardly looking at the floor.

“Huh?” Richie so eloquently asked.

“What I said before, you know, about Bill,” Stan looked up at them, his eyes uncertain but still so unwavering.

“What about Bill?” Eddie perked up, trying to get Stan to say what he wanted to already. The anticipation was killing him, and little did he know, it was killing Richie, too.

“Maybe I could, I dunno, give Bill a shot?” Stan was mumbling, and now pacing back and forth in the room, bringing his hand to his mouth in thought.

 Eddie was floored. It felt like a wild rollercoaster.

 It was like those flowers, love me, love me not. Eddie felt like that was the closest feelings to what just happened in the past 3 minutes.

“Wait, seriously? I thought you said you didn’t like him?” Richie brought up, trying to reason with Stan on something that Eddie thought was strange to reason with.

“I mean, I don’t. But, Bill _is_ kinda cute- “”-Cute?” Richie almost hollered. Stan continued nevertheless.

“- _and_ also, one of my best friends. Would it be so bad?” Stan was trying to hide the fact that Bill, as horrible as it sounds, could be a fantastic way out of his feelings for Eddie and Richie.

Sure, Stan never looked at Bill that way, but maybe he needs to try this. Just so his heart doesn’t get all ripped up by love that won’t be returned.

“So, what, you’re just gonna go off and fuckin’ date him?” Richie seemed way more upset about the situation then Eddie thought was necessary for a friend.

But, he remembered Bill and him may have argued real bad, and anything to do with Bill might set Richie off into a frenzy. That could be exactly it.

Richie was actually just sickened by the fact that Bill technically won if Stan went off and got with him. Richie was afraid his worst thoughts were true. Stan would choose Bill and Richie wouldn’t have a chance.

“No! I promised you I would keep my mouth shut, remember? I won’t go to him or anything. I will just be open to the idea. If he comes out and tells me then I’d, you know, feel it out? I don’t like him. But, maybe I could. Do you think that’s weird?” Stan shrugged, and looked for approval on the plan.

Richie, even though he was just fuming a few seconds ago, chillaxed a bit by hearing the words ‘I don’t like him’, and reluctantly agreed.

“No, it’s not weird. I guess that’s fair,” Richie grumbled, rolling his eyes as Stan offered a small smile. Eddie wasn’t fond of the idea but didn’t have the right to intervene. So, he also agreed.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m not desperate for a boyfriend or anything. I just think it’s something I’ve never thought about before,” Stan pondered, thinking about how he did have a small crush on Bill in Middle School, but it quickly died off after Bill’s whole Bev-Obsession.

“If you’re even considering Bill, it does sound quite desperate,” Richie half-joked and half-sulked, earning a shove in the ribs from Eddie. Stan also gave Richie a disapproving look.

“Shut up, Richie. Stop trash talking Bill. We’re all trying to have a nice vacation, _together_ ,” Eddie reprimanded, creasing his brows critically at Richie.

“I’m not in a good place with Billiam right now, okay? So give me some slack. One roast an hour, at least,” Richie grumbled as he rubbed the spot where Eddie’s boney elbow jabbed into his torso.

Eddie rolled his eyes, before hitting Richie’s shoulder softly.

“Fine. But only one roast a day. You’ve already exceeded the limit for today,” Eddie breathed out, letting a giggle slip through. Richie whined, but had a smile to return.

“Aw, but, I have so many good ones,” Eddie couldn’t help but laugh more, thinking of all the roasts Richie could pull on Bill in just one hour alone. Richie may be silly, but he doesn’t play around when it comes to trash talking. He is nicknamed Trashmouth for a reason.

In the middle of Eddie’s thought process and laughter, Stan’s voice lifted in the middle of it.

“I wonder why Bill even likes me. I’m such a…, I don’t know, _boring_ person,” Stan laughed at himself, looking away from the other two and to his own fumbling hands as he stood in front of the bed. It was his own depression making him talk like this, this was all his own fault.

 Eddie and Richie didn’t like him because Stan was dull, so why would Bill?

 He’s neutral, plain, and tasteless, like matza. It was a wonder anyone liked him, really. It always surprised him when he found out, on a rare occasion, that someone thought he was attractive.

At the very words, both Richie and Eddie were downright shocked.

Eddie thought Stan was anything but boring. He was vibrant, scandalously intelligent, crazy sexy, and undeniably thoughtful. Stan was someone that even if Eddie didn’t have the gracious opportunity to meet, and he just saw Stan walking by one day, it would be like love at first sight. Of course, Bill likes him. Who wouldn’t?

Richie wanted to scream. Boring? Is this kid fucking insane? Birds were never so beautiful until Stan showed him them in a different light. Stan’s dimples gave him heart attacks. Stan could yell, and Richie would instantly be upset. Stan could cry, and Richie would cry. Stan is gentle, loving, and strong. He was fucking funny and witty as hell, who did he think he was calling boring.

“You’re such a beautiful person Stan, anyone would be lucky to meet you let alone date you,” Richie quickly said, trying to wink at Stan through a red flush that no one else seemed to notice, thank God. Stan’s heart fluttered at the words nonetheless.

“Beautiful?” Stan’s lips formed the word as his ears heated up. No, Stan knew Richie was just oh-too good at cheering people up. He knew what others wanted to hear. It wasn’t true.

But Eddie nodded his head vigorously to agree, making Stan feel like he was about to tear up from the overwhelming affection. He couldn’t cry in front of them, no, not today. He made sure his misty eyes were unseen, so they didn’t badger him with friendly words any longer. Eddie had other plans, though.

“Yeah, Stan, you’re perfect. You’re not boring at all,” Eddie’s grin made Stan roll his eyes because, God, was that boy cute.  

Perfect was another word that didn’t fit him. He always aimed for perfect, but never fully achieved it. Perfect grades, perfect health, perfect room. Stan overwhelmed himself with something impossible to reach: perfection.

Maybe it was his flaw, you know? Trying to be unflawed. He never thought anyone would call him perfect or beautiful. And hearing it from these two felt like a dream. A dream he didn’t want to wake up from.

“Shut up and hug me,” Stan winked back, opening his arms up just to have two boys he wished he could hold forever hit into his body.

He knew they loved him. But, with another type of love, the platonic kind.

Stan mushed his face into both the boy’s heads, since they were kneeling on the bed and he was still standing. He could stay this way forever. He inhaled deeply, closing his eyes in joy until he smelled something strange.

“Guys?”

“Hmm?” The two answered muffled due to their faces being shoved up against his chest.

“Why do you smell like my shampoo?”

 

 


	12. Thirst Trap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second day begins!   
> The Losers go for a morning swim in the pool.   
> Stan can't take so much bare skin.   
> Richie and Eddie have a one-on-one. 
> 
> SONG OF THE CHAPTER: Make Me Feel by Janelle Monae

Stan woke up the next morning to distant noises. His eyes peered open and saw the morning sun shining through the blue curtains. He instinctively felt around him and found that he was alone in the two beds pushed together. It must be late in the morning if the other two boys had left already.

Stan calmly listened to the voices that carried up and into the room. He moved his head to look towards the door and found that it was left wide open.

Richie must’ve been at fault since Eddie surely would've shut it behind him. Stan contemplated whether he should just jump in the shower or if he should just go downstairs for breakfast.

He knew everyone was already awake and eating. He was highly surprised that he was the last to wake up since he was usually an early bird.

He reached over to check his phone on the side table and when the phone brightened he saw that the time was only 9:12 am. He raised his brows thinking how strange it was that he didn’t sleep late, but the others were up early.

He decided to go downstairs to see what everyone was up to, and he was coincidentally starving.

Stan slid his legs off Richie’s side of the combined bed and made his way down the stairs. The laughter and voices grew louder as the others came into view. He first saw Mike and Bill standing by the stove, Mike greeted him with a smile before looking back down to the pan.

“Sleepy beauty’s finally awake,” Richie’s voice said as Stan’s vision shifted from Mike making eggs to the Tozie boy.

He still wore no shirt, but he had swimming shorts on. Looking around, not only was everyone finished eating, but they also were all dressed for the pool. Stan nearly forgot that they agreed to swim before going back into town.

Mike gave him a plate of eggs and white rice that he made in his uncle’s rice cooker. It was a change that made Stan smile to himself about. He had never eaten white rice that was homemade, only when he ate Chinese food at Christmas time with his family.

  
After his meal, he changed into his swimming trunks. They were a pale blue color with white zig-zags horizontally across them. He grabbed sunscreen from his bag and headed downstairs in his flip-flops, seeing that everyone was already outside in the backyard.

He pulled the glass door open to be welcomed by the heat of a July sun. He shielded his eyes with his free hand and squinted to see the scene in front of him.

He heard Bill’s voice speaking, but it sounded muffled over the music Bev seemingly plugged in and the sight his eyes locked on. Eddie was sprawled out on one of the lounge chair’s set up by the pool.

His tan skin gleamed under the sun, but Stan quickly noticed it must be tanning oil due to the bottle between his and Bev’s chair.

He had on pink heart sunglasses, that Stan guessed that they also belonged to Bev since they were giggling about something and the ginger girl was reaching out to touch his face. Stan thought about how pale Bev was, and that she probably should be using sunscreen instead, but didn’t voice it.

“Stan?” Bill asked and pulled him out of his tunnel vision thoughts. Stan whipped his head towards Bill, who held out a cold water bottle to him. Stan quickly smiled and took the water in his other hand.

“Oh, thanks, Bill,” Stan nonchalantly winked at the Denbrough boy, holding up the water bottle before making his way over to the free chair next to Eddie. As he looked back, he felt like his legs felt heavier than they had been before.

Eddie had one leg up and one leg down as his head turned towards Stan, a smile still on his lips.

Stan didn’t know why his heart was speeding up with every step, but it was similar adrenaline to riding a rollercoaster. Eddie looked so… sexy, so confident.

It was a good look on Eddie, but Stan couldn’t help but feel somewhat intimidated by the aura. The closer he got to Eddie, the more Stan realized the feeling in chest reminded him of something else.

It made Stan think about all the times a group of cute guys was walking past them in the mall back at Derry, or when the Starbucks barista asking for his name was too attractive for his own good.

Stan was internally a bashful, nervous wreck around men like that, and at this moment Eddie resembled all those countless faces he’s been melting for before.

The pink sunglasses had black lens, much to Stan’s relief. It may have been worse to actually see Eddie’s eyes when Stan couldn’t even take Eddie’s presence.

“Hey there, hot stuff,” Bev giggled, arms draped over each arm on the chair as she rested her head back to smile at Stan. Stan didn’t reply in time, for Eddie lowered the sunglasses down his nose bridge to look up at Stan. Stan halted his movements, feet stuck to the ground as if under a spell. He eyed Eddie wearily before looking back at Bev.

“Do you have sunscreen on?” Stan bluntly asked the two, looking back and forth as they took in his question.

“Ben put a whole fucking bottle on me before we came outside. You know I’d be a tomato in 20 minutes if I hadn’t,” Bev joked, relaxing down into her chair.

“I put some on, too. I have some tanning oil on my legs, but I could use some more on my back?” Eddie finally spoke up, and Stan was sure he was dizzy by how fast his head spun to look at Eddie. Did Eddie want him to put it on him?

Sure enough, Eddie was carefully turning himself around so his stomach laid flat on the chair. Stan looked back at Bev for reassurance, but the redhead had her eyes closed as she soaked in the sun.

Stan swallowed thickly as he looked back at Eddie, placing the water bottle down on the ground next to the chair.

Stan took this moment to admire Eddie’s physique. As he opened the bottle and squirted some sunscreen into his hand, his eyes roamed Eddie’s tan back, watching the way the boy's shoulder blades flexed as he positioned himself into a comfortable position. Stan perched himself on the edge of Eddie’s chair to reach him better.

Stan glanced down at the curve of Eddie’s lower back and down towards his bottom for a split second before scolding himself mentally. He proceeded to rub his hands together and place them on Eddie’s warm back, holding his breath.

As Stan spread the protective cream across Eddie’s shoulders, Eddie released a groan. The sound made Stan stop, hands stilling as he felt Eddie move underneath him.

**Oh boy, if he makes another one of those sounds, it’s over for you,** his brain reminded him. Eddie’s voice was nice to hear, sometimes it sounded like razor blades on a chalkboard (but that was only when he was scolding Richie). Other than that, Eddie’s voice was pretty.

**Those sounds were pretty, too.**

“No, keep going, it was just cold is all,” Eddie muffledly laughed at Stan’s pause. Stan continued in relief, before falling into a rhythm. After a few moments, Stan let himself shiver slightly at how smooth Eddie’s skin was under his hands.

The sunscreen may have added to the softness, but Stan allowed himself to wonder if Eddie’s legs would be just as nice to touch.

Once all the white was rubbed in properly, Stan leaned off the chair and begrudgingly removed his hands from Eddie.

“Thanks,” Eddie huffed out as he turned his body around once again, sunglasses still covering his eyes. Stan tried to find the eyes of the Eddie he knew since he was seven.

Kind, brown eyes that beamed in innocence. Irritated eyes that rolled at jokes involving fucking his mother. Doe eyes that glanced up at Stan in surprise when Stan offered Eddie sunscreen. Stan couldn’t seem to find that Eddie.

He seemed to be looking at someone else, an Eddie that smirked at Stan threw heart-shaped sunglasses. An Eddie who asks Stan for a sunscreen rub down instead of bashfully saying he could do it himself.

Stan wondered what caused this change, maybe it was only a spontaneous decision instead of a personality change.

Stan prayed for the old Eddie back, the gobsmacked Eddie that had been there last night when Richie pushed their beds together.

It would be easier for Stan to fall out of love if Eddie stayed the way he had been in middle school. But they were in college now.

He’s seen Eddie wink welcomingly at hooting jocks.

He’s witness first-hand a horny, drunk Eddie in Mike’s barn.

Eddie wasn’t under his mothers brainwash anymore.

Eddie had changed, but somehow Stan had missed the moment he had. Why was it that Stan was realizing this just now? Stan decided it was those damn sunglasses.

Secretly cursing Bev, he strained a smile at Eddie before picking up his water bottle and walking over to the chair next on Eddie’s other side.

“Stan, I need sunscreen, too!” Richie hollered from inside the pool. Stan looked over at Richie, who's black curls were soaking wet from water. The boy must have his contacts in since he wasn’t squinting anymore than Stan was.

“Why would you go into the pool first? Now you’re all wet, you have to wait to be dry again,” Stan replied, glaring at the Tozier boy. His discouragement didn’t falter Richie’s desires, it seemed to do the exact opposite.

Richie swam towards the pool steps, pulling his way out of the chlorine. Stan gapped at Richie’s lean frame dripping with water, Stan’s eyes following the beads of water falling down his arms and back.

Stan tore his gaze down and away as he opened his water and took a sip. His gaze found Mike instead, who was chatting with Ben and Bill in the pool on the steps. His eyes searched to follow their conversation simply to avoid a determined Richie who was making his way towards Stan with a towel in hand.

Stan continued to drink his water as he watched the others, his eyes meeting Bill’s. Bill smiled at him, waving at him from his spot in the pool. Stan lowered the bottle to wave back. Bill was strange sometimes.

He could no longer see Bill since Richie stepped right in Stan’s view of the Denbrough boy. Stan saw Richie’s surprisingly toned stomach instead, causing Stan to direct his gaze up to Richie’s grinning face instead.

“What?” Stan asked rudely, hoping Richie would just go in the pool or put sunscreen on himself instead.

“Come on, Stan the man. Lube me up!” Richie threw his arms up in the air, causing water to sprinkle on Stan and Eddie. Stan scrunched his face at the feeling of water hitting it, but Eddie had a different approach.

“If you get me wet one more time, I’m gonna push you back into the pool,” Eddie sat up and raised a pointed hand towards Richie. Ah, there’s the Eddie Stan knew so well.

Richie coyly smiled, lowering his arms to his sides as he made eyes at Eddie.

“Aw, Ed’s, you know you like it when I get ‘cha wet.” Richie flirted, winking as he ruffled his hair in the towel to dry it.

**He’s close enough, reach out and touch him.**

Stan shook the thoughts away after staring a tad too long at Richie’s pale torso only a foot away.

“Not as much as I’d like to throw you into the pool,” Eddie sassed, resting back down into his chair.

Stan watched Richie dry himself, smiling towards Eddie for a few more moments. In those moments, Stan swears he saw Richie’s eyes rake Eddie’s body up and down. Not that Stan could blame him, Eddie looked really good. It just had taken Stan off guard.

Richie met his eyes again, and Stan knew Richie knew Stan saw his little glance over. It was in Richie’s eyes, but Richie was great at avoiding things and covering them up. The kid never slowed down to show weakness.

A smile returned to the Tozier boy’s handsome face.

“Ready to use protection?” Richie winked down at Stan and Stan scowled up at him. They were both too good at tiptoeing around the bush.

Richie did a decent job drying himself, much to Stan’s surprise. He would’ve thought Richie half-assed everything, but then again Richie usually was great at everything he did.

Richie was great at school, almost as good as Stan.

Richie was great at conversation, and he was great at being annoying on purpose.  
He was even great at turning Stan on when the time wasn’t right, which is something Stan loathed.

But the time was never right given the circumstance, so Stan would just have to sit quietly and deal with it.

Richie started to moan at every touch Stan gave him, making Stan cringe at first. He told Richie to quit it once already. Richie had sworn it just felt good, “Like a massage,” as the tall boy defended.

Stan dismissed it and continued to rub the sunscreen all over him. Stan kneed his hands lower on Richie’s back, causing the curly haired boy to let a groan slip out again.

This time, the boy’s frame tilted forward as his head fell back slightly and Stan wanted to kill himself right then and there.

Stan sat wide-eyed behind Richie, staring directly at Eddie’s face, which had turned to see what the fuss was all about. Eddie’s mouth was open as if he was going to speak but no words came out. Eddie just sat there, facing the scene as Stan’s face flushed hotly.

The sound and visual, all thanks to Tozier, send a strike of pleasure through Stan’s body. Stan softened his touches in hopes that Richie wouldn’t let out any more questionable sounds.

Thankfully, Richie stayed silent the remainder of the time and he could reach his own legs and arms. Stan got tan like Eddie, so he wasn’t too worried about being in the sun for a while longer as Richie rubbed the white cream up and down his legs.

After Richie finished, Stan held out an open hand for the bottle and instead was given Richie’s hand. Stan probably looked self-shocked since the boy laughed at him and scrunched his nose up.

“Very cute, Staniel. Very cute indeed. May I?” Richie shook the bottle as he released Stan’s hand and Stan wished he never accepted Eddie’s offer.

It started this whole ‘let’s rub each other with sunscreen’ thing, and Stan was afraid he’d accidentally let his guard down if Richie tried to massage him as well.

He could just say no as a logical, reasonable person would. Despite Stan’s reputation, he didn’t.

“Fine,” Stan agreed, moving to sit on the edge of the chair like Richie had. Richie launched himself onto the chair excitedly, and Stan heard the bottle cap pop open from behind him.

Stan bit his lip in worry as he looked up from his hands that were placed on each thigh to see that Eddie had the sunglasses on top of his head, pushing his bangs back like a headband.

Eddie was watching them, and Stan wasn’t too sure why.

Maybe it was out of pure entertainment, to watch an idiot and a fool. Whatever it was, Eddie didn’t seem to mind that Stan knew he was watching.

“What?” Stan’s voice betrayed his curious mind, and he wanted to die when Eddie’s eyes tore away from Richie to land back on him.

“Just enjoying the view,” Eddie cracked a playful smile, shifting his legs for the sun. Stan was ever-so-grateful to and damning Beverly to hell all at once; Eddie must be spending too much time with the feisty redhead, primping up his confidence like this.

She somehow, over the years, converted his childish spunk and tenacity to raging self-awareness. Stan knew Eddie was shorter than most men, but with this dashing certainty, he stood ten stories high.

Richie interrupted the thought with warm hands and cold cream. Stan hated how he took note of Richie’s big, rough hands. Richie’s fingers looked long and delicate, but damn were they what he’s heard Bev refer to as “the touch of a man”. Maybe she should coin it after she used a blushing Ben’s hands as a ‘prime example’.

Richie no doubt had a similar title. Stan wondered how Richie would be in bed, as shameful the thought was. Stan shouldn’t let himself fantasize with Eddie watching the two like it was T.V. But, Stan was weak and gave into himself too easy for his liking.

Richie pressed into his back to smooth over the sunscreen evenly, and Stan thought he must have the same purposeful grip when holding down a lover.

After a while of rubbing the sunscreen all over Stan’s back and shoulders, Richie finally spoke up.

“Your skin is soft,” Richie’s voice had an emotion Stan couldn’t decipher with the lack of facial expression, and tried his best not to stiffen at the words.

“It’s called moisturizing, look it up,” Stan quipped at the black-haired boy, hoping the torture of Richie’s hands on his body would soon come to an end. Stan didn’t want it to stop, but he needed it to, for his own sake.

Stan looked over at Eddie, in hopes that the brunette was oblivious to what was going down inside Stan’s brain. Surely he was, logically there was no way for him to know anything. Though, the smirk on Eddie’s face told Stan different.

“All done!” Richie chirped happily, and Stan felt his weight lift and leave his chair. Stan turned around to see Richie rubbing his face in the sunscreen, specifically his nose.

His hair was still damp, but Stan tried to not think about how sexy it made the other look.

He averted his eyes to see Bill staring right at him. Stan hated himself for it, but he tore his gaze away too fast, feeling awkward from the gaze of the Denbrough boy.

He knew Bill liked him, thanks to Richie’s confession last night. He knew what he told Eddie and Richie about ‘trying Bill out’ was a lie. He would never go for Bill, as cute as the boy was.

Stan idealized Bill when he was young, hell, they all did. Stan believed they still do, but in a different way now. Stan used to want to hold Bill’s hand because Bill was their fearless leader, strong and brave.

That small crush died when he found out Bill liked Bev in middle school. It’s been nearly seven years since Stan thought of Bill more than a friend.

Even in middle school, Stan was positive his crush was shallow at the pool water Bill sat in. Stan liked Bill for a role he was graciously played, he fancied Bill for protecting others. He didn’t truly love the boy and Stan knew kissing him would feel similar to kissing a cousin. Stan couldn't help but feel platonic love for Bill, but that's all it was.

Bill would only stay a friend.

Just like Eddie saw Stan as a platonic gossip-partner, and Richie viewed Stan as a platonic flirting target.

He didn’t want to tell Eddie and Richie that, though. Maybe it was a smart tactic, keeping them off his trail at all costs. He was slowly breaking down, getting closer and closer to outing himself and that scared Stan shit-less.

As Richie jumped back in the pool and Stan’s eyes mindlessly wandered over to Eddie, who was looked delighted that Richie was splashing water at Mike. Over Bev's laughter and Eddie's comments, Stan could hear Mike shouting encouraging dares at Richie. Bill complained at the chaos and was whining that they move away from him and Ben. Stan watched Richie move to the deeper end, closer to Stan and began pushing water at Mike once again.

If Stan dated someone else, it would cause so many issues, with him and the person he'd drag into the mess.

It was better to suffer silently, in Stan’s opinion. It hurt like hell, but it was the only way to keep things in balance.

Stan was almost sure the Loser's couldn't handle Stan's baggage, Stan would rip the group to bits with a single disclosure that he wanted to be not only Richie but Eddie's boyfriend as well.

After a couple of hours in the sun, Eddie dragged Richie back inside due to the pink forming on the taller boy's pale skin. Stan watched the two rush inside, Eddie scolding Richie for not re-applying sunscreen.

As Richie shut the door and felt the sudden cold of the A/C, Eddie took his wrist lightly and started for their shared bedroom with Stan. Richie chuckled under his breath watching Eddie fume about his bad decisions. Richie had a towel draped over his head for his semi-wet hair, making Richie grin at how ridiculous he probably looked.

Once they got to the room, Eddie closed the door behind them and instantly went for his bag.

"How many times do I tell you that your skin is prone to sunburn, Richie? All those times at the Quarry, sometimes when we went to the community pool," Eddie's voice reminded Richie of a multi-tasking mother, doing errands while lecturing her child.

Eddie came back to Richie's spot with a green bottle of aloe vera, waving it around like it was the key to life.

"Are you going to shower out all that chlorine first?" Eddie inquired, raising a brow at him.

Richie took this moment to appreciate how pretty Eddie's tan is in the summertime. He was close to glowing, with a soft and healthy olive-skin. Richie also loved how more freckles appear on the bridge of Eddie's nose when exposed in the sun too long.

"Hello? Earth to Martain," Eddie's voice pierced right into Richie's chest, yanking him from his daydreams.

"Shower I must," Richie wiggled his eyebrows in reply, mimicking Yoda. Eddie's face broke into a grin Richie knew he wanted to hold back.

"Well hurry up, Jedi Master. We don't have all day. We need to apply this to your skin as soon as possible," Eddie raised the bottle of cooling gel again, crossing his arms to sit on the bed. Humor still lingered on Eddie's face, and Richie wanted to revel in it as much as possible.

"Mm, it's so sexy when you talk Star Wars to me," Richie smirked down at Eddie as he removed the towel from his head. Eddie attempted to hit Richie's thigh in annoyance, but Richie dodged it with a cackle. Richie walked backward, sending finger-guns Eddie's way before reaching the bathroom.

Eddie gave finger-guns back to Richie, but they seemed more threatening than Richie's flirty gesture. Richie stuck his tongue out before shutting the bathroom door.

Eddie lowered his hands with a smile once Richie was out of sight. It was not long before he heard the water running, and Eddie recounted the past hours in the July sun. Bev giving him cute glasses, telling him he looked straight up fine. Stan. Stan looking undeniably sexy in his swimming trunks. Stan touching Eddie. Richie. Richie's lean, wet figure gracing Eddie's eyes. Stan touching Richie. Richie touching Stan.

Eddie couldn't help but bite a grin in pure giddiness, relishing the small details he observed when hiding behind sunglasses. Stan staring at him, hopefully in an appreciative way. Richie's face when Stan rubbed his shoulders a little too good. Stan's athletic build sitting in a chair. Richie's pale skin shining in the sun.

Eddie could think about the visuals God blessed him with today over and over, and he could never grow tired of them.

A few minutes lost in La La Land and Richie was out of the shower. He had nothing but a towel on when he came waltzing over to Eddie. The sight made Eddie's self-assured grin drop faster than meteor crashing to Earth.

Eddie looked up at Richie's face, which was framed by clean, wet curls. He had a mock-blush on his nose and cheeks due to a slight sunburn. Eddie thinks if he died, Heaven would look very similar to this. The only thing missing was a golden boy with blonde curls.

But this was not Heaven and Eddie was not dead, even though he wished he were.

"Ready to heal me, nurse?" Richie quirked up, winking down at Eddie before pulling a chair from the desk to place in front of Eddie. As Richie carefully sat down, Eddie felt an electric tension in the air.

Richie was naked under that towel and Eddie couldn't help but think how similar this moment felt to the one he and Richie shared at the movie theater. Richie teasing, Eddie wanting, it was all too much yet not enough in dual time.

Eddie opened the aloe and hesitantly began rubbing the gel onto Richie's left shoulder. Richie hissed at the contact, and Eddie wasn't sure if it was from how cold the aloe was or how burned his skin felt. Eddie thought that the sun didn't harm Richie too bad since he was only a bit pink on the top of his shoulders (and his nose).

"You okay?" Eddie asked in a measly voice, unsure if Richie felt the same heavy energy that Eddie felt. It was thick sexual tension, and Eddie was drowning in it. Eddie was becoming antsy at Richie's lack of reply, and he hoped Richie would just make a joke about his mother to lighten up the mood.

"Eddie, I've been thinking about yesterday," Richie's voice was serious and low, but Eddie didn't know what about yesterday Richie was speaking about. Was it about Bill and Stan?

"What about yesterday?"  
"At the movies, when we were talking,"  
"Oh,"  
"Yeah,"

They stayed still and silent for a few moments before Richie spoke again, Eddie's heartbeat rapidly speeding up.

"I didn't mean to upset you in any way, I was just being an idiot," Richie confessed, his shoulders slumping as Eddie slowly continued to rub aloe on him.

"You didn't upset me, Chee. We were just talking," Eddie was telling the truth, he didn't mind the conversation and situation. Not one bit. Eddie thought, however, the squirming and horny self-touching counted more than 'talking'.

"You looked upset,"  
"I wasn't,"  
"Then why'd you rush to the bathroom?"  
"I was hard,"

Eddie's eyes widened at how his mouth moved faster than his brain, and his mouth clamped shut as Richie spun around to look at him. Even though Richie looked on the edge of going into a laughing fit, his playful eyes looked darker than Eddie's seen them. Similar to the way Richie looked when he told Eddie about Miss Cheerleader.

"No fucking way, you had a boner?" Eddie expected Richie to scream it, howling in ugly excitement until there were stitches in his side. But Richie didn't yell it. He didn't even really say it. He whispered it.

"Yeah, and so did half the theater," Eddie defended himself, crossing his arms in a way to deflect Richie's honest gaze.

Richie stood silent for a hot minute, giving Eddie time to process what just unfolded. Eddie assumed Richie was about to laugh it off, say that he 'must've got off on a good one' or something. Richie did neither. Instead, Richie looked up at Eddie with worried brown eyes, eyes that Eddie couldn't truly read.

"You sure I didn't make you uncomfortable?" Eddie was stunned at how shameful Richie looked as if he was caught stealing something that wasn't his to take. Eddie let himself smile, small and kind, to show Richie everything was okay. Eddie knew Richie was the type of man to beat himself up over things in private.

"I'm 100% positive, Rich," Eddie reached to rub Richie's shoulder, reassuring Richie had done nothing wrong. Eddie was almost touched that Richie thought he had. Richie barely looked convinced, weakly smiling before looking down at his hands.

"Hey, if anything you caused that boner," Eddie admitted, nothing but the truth in his words. Of course, Richie wouldn't know that. Richie shot him a scandalous look of surprise before shaking with loud, gasping laughs. Eddie let himself laugh along, too.

"You need to stop hanging out with me, I think I'm rubbing off on you," Richie jokingly, without knowing, mirrored Stan's words. Eddie took the chance to prove him right.

"Maybe I like when you rub off on me," Eddie comically winked at Richie and Eddie swears he's never seen the Tozier boy look so much like Stan; gawking incredulously. The Uris spell was broken when Richie chuckled again.

"Stan's gonna lose his mind, hearing you like that," Richie shook his head, a grin feeling permanent on his face.

The universe also laughed along, because low and behold, Richie had spoken a wise truth.

Stan was already losing his mind. 


End file.
